Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Random Updates That You Don't Really Care About

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم
So. I'm now going to give you a typical update on my life, instead of something you might actually care about. Why? Because that's just how boring I am. I don't even have a camera to, like, show you pictures or something. Which is pretty sad, by the way.

Of course, it's going to be even worse because there's quite literally nothing going on in my life. At all. Um...

I'm reading through Ezekiel. And fun fact: this morning I woke up at 7am and finished my roughly nine chapters of reading (in Ezekiel) before 8! I was rather proud of myself, because even though I have plenty of time to do it during the day, it's nice to be able to read other books during the day. And getting it all done is helpful because then I don't have that day of reading "hanging over my head." Not that that the Bible is something that hangs over my head. But anyway.

What else, what else?

There hasn't been anything going on with the trip, either.

I know, I know. God will provide, God can work miracles, if he wants me to go on this trip, he will give me the money. I know. I know that it's true, and I've seen it happen.

But, I'm going to make a quick confession: I am an incredible control freak and the kind of person that makes to-do lists, right? So when something doesn't seem to be happening when I think I need it to, I get a little...worried.

And that's pretty much what's happening here. Yes, I know it's not right to be so horribly worried about it. But the day meter only ticks lower, and the finances aren't going up. It's quite frightening, because the closer I get, the more I can't help thinking, "Well, what if the money doesn't come in? What if I don't get it all?" Then I will have basically spent the past six months doing...nothing. All this work, all the fundraising I've done will be for nothing. The relationships I've made with a couple of the people who are going on the trip with me will be for nothing.

That frightens me, just a little. That all that work will go for nothing.

I mean, yes, I'll be able to go on a trip next year possibly, and that would be nice. But I suppose I just don't understand why God would have blessed things so much - y'know, giving me double what it was projected I'd make and all, but now...

I don't know. I guess I'm just discouraged and burnt out. I have a fundraiser planned for this Saturday. I'm praying God will bless. I know God will bless.

Please just pray that things will work out to God's glory. ;)

And, as always, if somebody would like to donate something to my trip, just email me. Or find me on my Facebook page over there. >


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