i worry about god sometimes

there are times in my life--all too frequently, it seems--when one thing starts to get hammered home into my consciousness. this happens most in epochs of my life, it seems. for instance, when i was in zambia, it was the simple exhortation to trust: trust me, trust my son, trust my provision, trust my leading, trust me to blow your mind and change your plans and rock your world, because i'm going to do it anyway and you might as well enjoy the ride. in china, it was that he had already overcome, that the stomach ache i had and the difficulties in language barriers and the tears that constantly prickled at the back of my throat because a country of one billion people who were effectively blocked from ever hearing about jesus were transitory, that he had already taken care of it, that a brighter future opened ahead, he was god of this city, this nation, this world, and he would reign. in romania, it was service to others; stop putting yourself ahead, be humble, obedient, submissive, look for how you can serve others, amen. at cyia, it's nearly always about jesus, about meditating on who and what he was and is and will be, all the beauty of the cross and the empty tomb and the reigning king, sovereign above all.

and lately, it's been all about resting in christ. about trusting his grace. about knowing that he is god, above all, beyond all, and i don't have to fear because he is so.

fear not, for i am with you;

be not dismayed, for i am your god;

i will strengthen you, i will help you,

i will uphold you with my righteous right hand

(isaiah 41:10)

i always think that maybe i'm about to figure life out, that all of this will begin to make sense. it never does, sadly, and i'm starting to think that this thing they call adulthood is simply a series of half-informed decisions, bumbling against each other and getting all mixed up because nobody is quite sure where to put their feet. and i guess that's okay (after all, if everybody's screwing up as much as i am, that makes my mistakes okay, right?). so here i sit, contemplating whether i should go to school or not, what i'd go to school for, whether it would be a waste of more money than it was worth, whether the organizations i'm working with are where i'm supposed to be, whether i'm supposed to stay in my hometown. oh yeah, and i have a boy now. so that's exciting.

i have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.

in the world you will have tribulation.

but take heart: i have overcome the world.

(john 16:33)

amid all this, god continues to tell me to rest in him. that he has it. that all things work together for good to those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. and i am called, and i love him. and so all things will work together for good, every snarly problem and unfamiliar emotion and misstep and hard decision. resting in him brings its own rewards--i can focus on every kid in my clubs, i can love my boyfriend and my family and my church and free myself from worry. live in eucharisteo every day. it's more fun that way--even if constantly being told to rest is a little worrying, because precisely what is about to happen?

- kyla denae

and a little child shall lead them

sometimes, i get really confused. i start worrying. like now, for instance. i was supposed to have quite a big chunk of my internship funds raised by now, the end of july. for those of you not in the loop, i'm working at child evangelism fellowship this summer as one of the local interns. it's been an adventure, and i'm having quite a bit of fun. it's just...money. fundraising is not my favorite thing. i don't think it's anybody's. and i'm stressing (just the tiniest bit) about that, though i'm giving it to god and letting him take care of it.

last week, i went to camp good news, which is a camp in oklahoma run by one of my teachers from cmi. i came home to some stuff that i'd not expected, stuff that's been in my family for a long while, but is beginning to manifest in new and exciting ways.

can you sense the sarcasm here

i hope so

i'm being really sarcastic

it's not exciting

it sucks

i hate drama

anyway

i came home to this, and i'm sitting here thinking, god, you said you were gonna take care of me this summer. you were very clear about how this internship was where i was supposed to be. i wanted to go to thailand, and you said no, god, and i know there was a reason, but i'm having a bit of trouble seeing it right about now. god, i'm confused. i don't know where i'm supposed to go. am i supposed to go finish out my internship down south, or am i supposed to stay in amarillo for another year. am i supposed to help do good news clubs or am i supposed to get a job and be a good little member of the workforce. am i supposed to buy a car and get my own place or buy a car and stay where i'm at or am i supposed to go hunting me a husband and hope you work it all out.

another thing i hate

adulthood

it's full of all sorts of problems that my nine year old conception never did see

curse you unrealistic expectations about life

i could go on and on about my young adult angst, but it would bore you, so i shan't. to make a long story short, i'm confused and trying to figure out god's will in the midst of much weirdness. i'm in way over my head, and i just want out of most of it, and i'm unable to be.

at camp this past week, there was this little girl in the bible class i was teaching. on the second day at camp, she came to me and told me that she knew she'd believed in jesus, but she wasn't sure if she still was, because she'd done some wrong things and she didn't always feel that god was with her. one of my favorite promises in the bible is found in hebrews 13:5--it says, "for he has said, i will never leave you nor forsake you." it's a beautiful promise, full of truth and wonder and the awe-inspiring idea that out of all his creations, out of all the things there are to love, out of all the majesty and beauty that fills the universe, god chose to love me, to tear out a part of himself and sacrifice it, for me, and with that knowledge comes the idea that i'll never able to do anything that will drive god away from me.

so i shared that verse with jaylin. i told her what it means, what god has promised to us. and every day after that, i heard her repeating the promise. she told everyone she met. she put a marker in her bible at that verse and opened to it every chance she got. it was what she shared at testimony night. she made up a song with the words, so she could repeat to herself every chance she got the promise that "i will never leave you nor forsake you." to her, that was the most important thing of camp, the most important thing about god. the only important thing about god.

and so, as i sit here surrounded by a bunch of stuff i can't comprehend and can't see my way through, i am humbled by the faith of a little child. the faith that will accept something so earth-shattering as "god is never going to leave me ever" and translate it into a song and into a chant that is repeated to oneself over every meal and before every bedtime and to everybody i meet. i am left in awe at the sort of faith that can accept that so completely, and i know beyond a doubt that i want that faith, that that faith is something to be reached for.

so i'm going to reach for it. i'm going to trust that promise--that even when i can't see my way, even when everything's cloudy and weird and beyond my wisdom, god's got me. he will never leave me. he's sealed me in the palm of his hand. he's three hundred steps ahead of me, scouting out my life decades in advance. 

for he has said

i will never leave you nor forsake you

so we can confidently say

the lord is my helper

i will not fear

what can man do to me

hebrews 13:5-6, ESV

- Kyla Denae

falling in love with jesus

There's something about serving others. About reaching out to people who may have never heard the Gospel. About sincerely, genuinely getting down to a child's level and simply showing them how much you care. There's something about it that lifts the fog of a world that's broken and hurting, and for a few simple, beautiful moments, shows the wonder that Jesus brought to earth.

This year at Christian Youth In Action© (a training camp Child Evangelism Fellowship© holds around the country to train teenagers how to effectively share their faith), I was a team leader for the first time. My team and I, consisting of two fourteen year old teenagers, went to a Boys' and Girls' Club, community centers that bring in kids during the year and teach them respect, discipline...or, at least, attempt to.

Community center 5 Day Clubs are always difficult. A lot of the kids in these places come from broken or troubled homes. Both of their parents--or their only parent--have to work all day long, and so the kids get bundled off to these budget daycare facilities, because it's all they can afford during the summer. The school systems are, very often, failing these kids spectacularly. They're faced with parents who don't care, or are abusive, or try really hard but can't make ends meet. Many of them have absent fathers--some because their fathers are in jail, some because their dad just up and disappeared one day. Some, the ones who really break my heart, have different daddies than their siblings, and their mom has a new guy these days.

As a consequence of all these factors, many of these kids have behaviour problems. Respect is earned, not freely given. And it can only be earned very, very slowly, by continually pouring into their lives. Everyone else has left them; the chances of your doing so, in their eyes, is extremely high. They see no need to listen to some teacher they don't know. Add into this a racial divide that's still very much alive in some of these places, and it becomes downright impossible.

We walked into this community center, and I could only glance back at my team and say one of those quick "dear Jesus, please help us," prayers. Neither of my team was particularly prepared for the challenge presented by these kids. One of my team members was a second-year in our program. He's a great teacher, but he's also very focused. He has to focus entirely upon his lesson, or he'll lose it...and the discipline problems in this club didn't help the whole focus thing. My other team member was a first-year, a little fourteen year old girl who's almost whiter than I am, with perfect hair and nails and a bit of germophobia.

To say that I was a bit nervous about the outcome of this club would be an understatement. I could handle it. But I was the team leader. My job was to sit in the back of the room, observe, write things down on sheets of paper, and pray really hard that my team wouldn't tank. Okay, maybe that last bit isn't technically on the job description, but it fits. So that's what I did. For five days, I helped how I could, I gave pointers, I prayed for my team, and I loved the kids in our club. I loved them with every bit of me.

It was a hard club, I'll tell you that. My team wasn't quite sure what to do with them. Some of them smelled bad, and my poor little germophobe didn't know what to do with them. Some of them wouldn't sit down for love or money--or, what was more immediate, the promise of candy. Some of them were attentive and got as close as they could to the teacher. Some could answer every question at the end, but during the lesson looked as if they weren't listening at all...and did their hardest to distract everyone around them. My team wasn't quite sure how they were supposed to love these kids. How just standing up and teaching them a lesson constituted loving them at all. How they were supposed to reach into these kids' lives and make a difference.

How, in short, loving them was at all possible.

They're smelly.

They don't pay attention.

They're disrespectful.

They make snide comments about us.

They hate us.

Slowly, I got them to look past that...or, at least, attempted to. Yes, they're disrespectful. But God made them, and loves them. And it is here that loving others and loving Jesus intersects. Telling people about Christ--especially children, who Jesus loved above all others--seems to bring Jesus from the past, from the realm of abstract intellectual knowledge, and makes Him a present, living reality.

Christ lived and died. 

For each and every one of these smelly, disobedient kids. 

Christ gave His blood. 

For each child who turns around in their chair while they're supposed to be listening. 

Christ came alive again. 

For each child who complains as he's being led into the classroom on day three. 

When I really make an effort to think about the sacrifice Jesus made, about how much he suffered just for the love of sinful, horrible people who were, in that very moment, nailing him to one of the most brutal torture implements ever devised by human imagination, it's hard to ever despise the people you're trying to tell about Him. It makes it difficult to say bad things. It makes it difficult to undervalue those who've never heard that He did, in fact, make that sacrifice.

And as I ponder it, this incredible, immense sacrifice that was made on my behalf, it makes me fall in love, too. It makes me realize that, as I am loved, as Christ loved me, so these children are loved. And that's why the end of a 5 Day Club always makes me cry. Why I can only pray during our last few minutes with them, praying life and love and hope over them, praying for those who came so close to a knowledge of the Savior during the five days, yet still fell short of quite getting it, of fully grasping it, of understanding the truth we'd been pouring into their lives.

Yesterday, I was reading in 1 Peter. I was actually studying for a lesson, but then my eye landed on this, and it so perfectly sums up the reason I do what I do.

Knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things... but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you who through Him believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and gave Him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.

I am not redeemed by anything I can do, with corruptible things that will pass away. My deeds cannot ever atone for the other deeds I've done, can't begin to cover the sin I've committed. Yet Christ came, a lamb without any defect. He knew this would happen, eons before it came to pass. And yet He still came. He came to earth and died. He came to earth and came alive again, to be a testament for us, to make a new covenant forged under his blood, by his suffering.

And now my faith and hope are in Him, in His Father. And that is why I go to these places where the kids are tough and hurting and broken. It's why I go into a sick, broken world. Because I know the One who heals all hurts. And can I sit by and simply not take it? 

I've fallen in love with Jesus. Totally, irrevocably, utterly in love with Jesus. I love Him who first loved me. And now I can't help but speak of this faith and hope that He has given me.

- Kyla Denae

one problem at a time

On the last day I was in China, a couple members of our team (plus myself) went out into Guangzhou to buy some breakfast. The rest of our team was sleeping in, so we were by ourselves. We stopped at this little roadside place--it looked like a carport, to be honest, with a dirt floor and a cooker on a rickety table. A few men were sitting inside on overturned buckets and crates, talking back and forth in rapid-fire Chinese while the cooks (two women, one older than the other) made their food. We got this yummy, rather watery porridge with rice, some green stuff, and a few chunks of meat in. We also got youtiao, which is the most amazing bread on the face of the planet, especially when you sprinkle sugar on it.

We walked a few paces down the road and settled down in front of an apartment building; there were some steps there that we could sit on, so we did. About halfway through our meal, this beggar man came up. He stood maybe five feet from us, watching us, occasionally saying something in Chinese that I'm guessing was a plea for money. We carefully avoided looking at him, trying to carry on our own conversations, but it was difficult. He was just standing there, asking for help, and every American tenet and stricture to foreigners told us we couldn't help him--even though I had plenty of yuan in my pocket.

I came across this in Zambia, too. I come across it at home. Maybe not so blatantly--nobody's (hopefully) going to accost me while I'm sitting down and eating my breakfast. But it does happen. How many of us drive right past a homeless man on a street corner nearly every day without a second glance? Wherever we go, needy people will be an ever-present reality.

Our culture tells us that poor people, and especially homeless people, must somehow be at fault for their position. We see a man on a street corner with a ratty jacket, broken-down shoes, and a carboard sign, and the first thought that pops into our mind is "free-loading druggie" or "alcoholic who doesn't want to take care of his kids". We see a woman with a hat jammed down over her hair, her clothes old and worn, and we might think "prostitute". Our entire culture tells us not to give these people money; that they'll just use it for less than honorable purposes and you'll have wasted it. When we go overseas, we're told we'll get thronged with needy people if we help one, that it's too dangerous to help because we might get hurt (at least in our pocketbooks).

Yet there's nothing like this attitude in scripture. We look at Jesus, the man who would walk through a crowded building, a building full of the stench of death and disease--so many people who needed helping that it was quite possible if he touched one he'd be stifled by the rush of people yearning for healing--and yet his only thought was for the one person before him. He dealt with the lame man, then moved on to the woman with leprosy, and then to the child who couldn't see, and then to the grandfather that couldn't hear. There were always a few that he couldn't get to, that couldn't make it to him through the crowd. Some had good friends who would pull up a roof to get their friend to him. Some would crawl through merely to touch the corner of his robe. But Jesus always focused on one thing--the person right in front of him and what they needed.

I wonder if maybe we shouldn't practice this as well. Yes, we can't heal all the hurts in the world. We can't even come close. But that's not what we're supposed to do. The effort (and the worrying about it) would drive us mad. Instead, I think we're supposed to focus on one thing at a time, and that's the person right in front of us and their problem. We're not supposed to give thought to tomorrow, to our bodies, to what might become of us because, ultimately, everything is in God's hands. And it could just be that he's going to use us to speak to someone, even if it's through something as simple as extending five bucks or a happy meal.

We are called to be the light of the world, not the lighthouse keepers that are so afraid of making someone angry or getting hurt that we never turn on the light.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

I want to dream big dreams

My very best friend in the whole wide world, Chelsea, came back to town this past weekend. For those who haven't been on my blog for very long, she's been gone for the past eleven months on an epic missions trip known as the World Race. Basically, she traveled to eleven different countries, including Thailand, Nepal, Moldova, South Africa, India, and Swaziland. I missed her very, very much, so getting to just sit and talk with her about all that's happened over the past year was amazing. Hopefully she'll be making another trip here before she leaves the country again so we can catch up even more. (There's also a prospective year-long trip the two of us might take to China sometime in the future. So we can really catch up.)

In any case--most of that is largely irrelevant, I just wanted to introduce you to the amazingness that is my best friend. Last evening, we drove together to church (well, she drove; I sat in the passenger seat and talked. Since both of us driving, or even just me driving, might have led to quite a bit of confusion), and we were talking a little about praying big and, as an extension of that, dreaming big.

While I was in China, the campers would attend lectures on different subjects. Teamwork, changing the world, that sort of thing. One of the lectures at Sunshine was about our dreams--the things we want to see happen, the things that would make our individual worlds perfect, the things that we would die happy after having seen. The speaker had us all write down our dream. Then he told us to look at our dream and ask ourselves how "big" it was.

Things like wanting to be a doctor, wanting to travel, wanting to get married, those are "little" dreams--so little, in fact, that they're hardly dreams at all. They're attainable goals, things we're looking forward to doing. A true dream is the absolute height that we can imagine. It is the deepest desire of our heart. A true dream is something so hugely audacious, so ridiculous, so fantastically absurd, that it seems as if it will never come true. A true dream is something that only a miracle can bring you.

My dream, if you'd like to know, is that there not be a child in the world without a home.

That there not be a home without adequate food and water.

That there not be a person who has to die because they didn't get a pill.

That there not be corruption.

That there not be wars that cause so much harm to ordinary people.

That is my dream. It is something so amazingly, ridiculously huge that only God could bring it about. And that, truly, is what a dream is. It's something that seems impossible--is impossible--without God. It is something that, even with God's help, we can barely imagine. It is something that seems almost absurd to us. It's the stuff, literally, of dreams.

We have a God who delights in making dreams come true. He's the one who took a poor shepherd boy and turned him into the greatest king ever known. He's the one who took a lowly fisherman and turned him into one of his most important apostles. He's the one who took a prostitute and made her an ancestor of his son. He's the one who took so many mess-ups, rejects, and disappointments and turned them into masterpieces. He's the author and finisher of our faith, a master painter who delights in blowing our minds.

He's the one who said "whatsoever ye ask, ye shall receive." That, to me, is a challenge. He's saying--"Yeah, you can pray for the health of your dog. You can pray for all sorts of small important things. Or you can pray something completely crazy, and watch me work."

Sometimes we have trouble with that "whatsoever". It's implied over and over that praying for crazy things just hurts us. Praying for things that we know won't happen will just hurt our faith. That, ultimately, they might even be selfish prayers and hence sinful. But I don't think so. I mean, sure, if you pray for a million dollars, not only will it hurt your image of God when you don't get it, but it's also very selfish. But that's not the sort of prayer I'm talking about.

I'm talking about praying for the presence of God to settle on a mosque.

I'm talking about praying for the healing of a family that's rejected God.

I'm talking about praying for the miracles that God can do to settle upon a nation.

I'm talking about praying for God to reveal himself to a tribe that's never heard.

Sometimes these prayers can be answered in the craziest ways, it's true. Sometimes God will answer those prayers by sending you to that mosque or those tribes or that nation. Sometimes God will completely blow your mind, and even make you a little afraid, with the way he'll answer things. But if he put you into it, he has a plan. He had a plan since before you voiced the prayer.

Don't be afraid to dream big dreams, and to pray big prayers that go along with them. Dream big, pray big, and do it with freedom, because you have a God that's bigger than any dream you could possibly imagine.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Confidence and Glory

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence. But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:26-25-31

I find quite a bit of comfort in this passage. I'm not much at all. But through God, I am made wise and righteous...and it's only through him that I can be made so. I can have confidence--or, as this passage puts it, glory--in the fact that I am sanctified by the blood of Christ. I can worship him, glorify his name, with the knowledge that he has made me clean and called me to a great purpose...no matter how I looked before.

Not many wise after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called...

He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Teachings

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

There's a few questions people always ask when you go on a big trip. Number one is "How was it?" Number two is, "Did you enjoy it?" Number three, at least for this trip, has been, "Did you learn anything new?"

I kind of dislike questions like this. They're annoyingly vague. I also never quite know how to answer. To the first, I usually give an awkward, "Um...it was good? Awesome. Amazing. Pretty cool." Inwardly, I'm thinking: what exactly do you want me to say? It was a country. With people. To the second, it's usually an emphatic yes. The third is usually also a yes, and that is what this post is about. Part of what I learned in China.

China, like Africa, taught me how lucky I am. Africa taught me how lucky I have been in the realm of material possessions. I have so much; the people there have so little. But China taught me how lucky I am to have the freedom to worship that I do. While at the second camp, one of my roommates was a Christian girl. She was involved in the underground church, and one day she shared with us the things they have to go through just to meet. She was amazed at how we could just go anytime we want to. Talking with her, you could hear the wistfulness in her voice as she contemplated what it must be like to not have to be afraid, to not have to sneak around and risk being persecuted by your own government.

Then there was one of the girls in my life group, who had never before heard the gospel. That is amazing to me. Here in America, we take that so for granted. Everybody, surely, has heard at least once, and if they haven't, they've had a chance to. In China, it's not like that. There is so much room in China, so many people, and comparatively so few people working for the Gospel, that people may be born, live, and die without ever hearing. I'm sure it's like that here in America, too, which is challenging. But it was really brought home to me in China.

I have it so, so lucky. Day after tomorrow, I'm going to pull up to my church building, climb out, and go to Sunday School. I'll sing at the top of my lungs during worship service, and not have to be afraid. I'll listen to preaching, straight from the Bible, and not have to worry about who might hear. Then I'll go home, and it might be that I'll have not even listened to the message. My mind could have been miles away because, after all, it's just church. I'll get to go next week, and the week after that. And next week, if our air conditioner is out, it's too hot. We'll just skip church. We can't be uncomfortable, you know.

The Chinese Christians I met taught me something very important. There is nothing more important than the Gospel. You can't hide it. You can't make it go away. There is no either-or in living it out. Either you are passionately committed to its message, or you have almost no part in it.

But the non-Christian Chinese also taught me something, a far more sobering lesson. One day, I was talking about the fringes of a religious topic with one of the girls in my small group. I was getting a bit excited, because I love this girl and I really wanted to get a chance to talk to her about it. But then she couldn't think of how to say what she wanted to, and appealed to one of the guys in our group, asking him to explain what the Chinese people now mostly regard as a god. (And, of course, there went the conversation.)

This guy turned to me and calmly proceeded to explain that the Chinese people, if they are patriotic and good citizens, basically regard their government as their god. Their whole concern is to serve their country and advance it. I sat there, listening to this, trying not to show my shock. I had known this was what was believed. I had read about it. I knew that China was infected with nationalistic atheism, that their leaders were practically prophets. But to hear it so calmly explained from one I considered a dear friend was hard to stomach. I now have a face to go with that belief. And that's tough.

Those statistics about how many have heard in China, how many have believed, are no longer just numbers. Now they have faces. They have names. Joy, Summer, Brian, Allan. They are people who I spent part of my life with. Who I love. It's hard to stay at home when you have faces looking at you instead of numbers. Numbers are convicting, friends are compelling.

In other words, I can't wait to go back to China. In fact, I can't wait to go overseas again, period. That's truly where my heart is. In the meanwhile: Good News Clubs start up again in a few weeks, and there will be opportunities for me to help with other outreaches locally. "Preach the Gospel to every creature" is truly an amazing command, because it never leaves with you with nothing to do.

In other news, announcing next summer's plans: I'll be going to Romania, hopefully. I'm also praying about going back to Zambia, Africa, but I've decided I'm waiting on God for that one. If He wants me to go, He'll show me. For now, I'm trusting and resting in Him...which will probably be the topic of my next post, because there's not enough space to deal with it here. :D

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Wherever, Whatever

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I think sometimes, we dramatize what we see as "the big things." I'm going to China. That's a "big thing." Some people dedicate their lives to overseas missions - they go and live and die overseas, in the pursuit of bringing a precious few to Christ. There are those who preach in front of thousands of people every week. There are people who give thousands of dollars in offerings every week. There are people who raise perfect children who go on to become missionaries and pastors and song-leaders.

But sometimes, I think, when we look only at the "big things" we forget how important the "small things" are. Being cheerful at home. Being kind. Content. Happy. No matter what our circumstances are, being able to respond with joy.

I struggle with those little things. I have problems with my temper. My little sister and I can't seem to live together (she seems to think typing is annoying, but I shan't get into our many arguments at the moment). My dad sometimes gets on my nerves (okay, a lot). [And here I am, confessing my life problems to you all. Just so you know, this proves that bloggers' lives are rarely - never, in fact - perfect. Far from it.]
We forget - I forget - that wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, however things are going, no matter what's coming up, I should be content right now. I should go everywhere with all my heart, with every God-imbued passion I have. Because if I can't, what am I doing going there?

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Crazy Coincidences

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

There's this interesting thing about God. He always knows what we need to hear.

Yesterday was the first day of a 'revival meeting' at our church. The evangelist told us yestermorn that last night's message would be the best. (Of course, he then informed us that tonight's will be even better, but I digress.) Yesterday afternoon, I was Facebook chatting with one of my friends who I do a Good News Club with. We were talking about my China funds, and how much I still need, and how I'm sort of freaking out. She told me that she was sure God would provide, and that I didn't need to worry.

Fast-forward to Sunday night. The evangelist was preaching out of Daniel 2, which is the account of Nebuchadnezzar's dream. The preacher focused on verse 21.

Daniel answered in the presence of the king, and said, The secret which the king hath demanded cannot the wise men, the astrologers, the magicians, the soothsayers, shew unto the king; But there is a God in heaven that revealeth secrets...

His whole message was about how we shouldn't worry about things because there is a God in Heaven. And, predictably, he got on the subject of financial things. And God simply reminded me of Haggai 2:8.

The gold is mine, and the silver is mine, saith the Lord of hosts.

That was God, not-so-subtly pointing out that he's got everything under control. That I don't have to worry. That he's still in heaven. That everything belongs to him.

Don't you love those crazy coincidences?

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Everything to Me

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Today I'm going to a teacher appreciation dinner at our local CEF office. That's right. I'm a teacher, and I'm going to be appreciated. They luffles me.

LOL, not really. I am a teacher, and that's how I got an invitation to this deal, but there are also going to be 39 other CEF teachers there. So it's not all for me. Though one of my friends did bake cupcakes for the event, and those are mostly for me.

I got volunteered to sing a song at this deal, along with another lady. We're singing "Everything to Me," and it's been sort of stuck in my head for the past half-week. So I thought, hey, don't let a good idea go to waste, so I'm going to blog about it.

You're everything to me, You're more than a story, more than words on a page of history. You're the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for, and the ground beneath my feet...You're everything to me, Lord, You're everything to me.

These lyrics encompass everything the Christian life is supposed to mean. It's not supposed to be about us, it's not supposed to be about our wants, needs, desires. It's supposed to be about the One who died for us. It's supposed to be about the one who makes the sun rise and the stars to shine. Our whole lives are supposed to be about magnifying and glorifying him.

Last night I was thinking about that verse that talks about abiding in Jesus Christ. I find it interesting that it doesn't talk about Jesus Christ indwelling me. It talks about me abiding in him.

To me, that means that I'm supposed to, quite literally, be the body of Jesus Christ. My feet are no longer mine, they are his. My hands are no longer my own, they are his. My heart should beat in time with his, and break over everything that hurts him.

I think that might be one of the problems in America today. Christians have forgotten what it means to be the body of Christ. They've stopped letting Christ be everything to them, and have gotten sidetracked on all these other things. They've forgotten what it means to abide, to have the world see Christ instead of them.

So yeah. Just my thoughts for this morning. They're a little deep for 9:30. But that's okay.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Hold On

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Source: The Hope Movement (Also known as the most epic Christian graphics site ever)

So I clicked onto Tumblr this afternoon, and this was at the top of my feed. Isn't it beautiful? This saying sums up everything that's been going on my life this year, hands down. There have been multiple times just in these few months where I've asked God, "Okay, where are you? Because this is going on, and this is going on, and you're asking me to do this, and I don't get it."

God's response? "Hold on. I know what I'm doing."

Yeah. I just wanted to share that with you. :D

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Christians and the Law

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So I've been seeing quite a bit about this lately. I don't know if it's because of a blog I stumbled across (which is more likely, because it's what provoked this thought in the first place), or a Facebook friend I added, but there is a section of Christians that seem to think part of our lives should be the Old Testament Law - in other words, the Levitical law that was handed down to Moses as a guide for the Hebrew people.

Now, I understand the desire to do something great for God, I really do. The problem is that I don't think we see God calling gentile Christians to follow the Law anywhere in the Bible. Hebrew Christians may be another deal - you'll have to talk to a more knowledgeable authority on that one - but nowhere do we see Jesus or his disciples telling gentile Christians they are supposed to follow the Law.

There was much dispute about this issue even in the early church. In Acts 15, we find the church leaders in an uproar about whether or not gentiles, as Christians, are supposed to follow the law. Remember that, just a few chapters earlier, these same people were getting angry with Peter because he went and witnessed to the uncircumcised heathen. Of course, then Peter had to explain about how God had basically slapped him upside the head and told him what was going to happen: that what God had called clean (the gentiles) could not be called unclean (by Peter). Fast forward. Paul and Barnabas are having some troubles with these same men, the ones from Judea, who are still stubbornly holding on to that circumcision issue. There's this debate going on about it, and they all come together for the express purpose of further debate, and deciding what the answer is.

Peter pretty much sums it up:

And God, which knoweth the hearts, bare then witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as he did unto us; And put no difference between us and [the gentiles], purifying their hearts by faith. Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear? But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved, even as they.

He looks around at all his friends and basically says- "Okay, what are we doing here? Didn't Jesus come to give us free salvation, by grace alone? So why are we trying to shackle these baby Christians with all the weight of four huge books that were written to Moses? Aren't they saved by grace?"

Now to those who say- "Then what is the point of the Levitical Law? Was it just some mean joke God was playing on his people?" Not quite. In Romans 3 and 7, Paul explains the purpose of the Law.

Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God. Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

Romans 3:19-20

What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence. For without the law sin was dead.

Romans 7:7-8

This, then, is the purpose of the law: to be a schoolmaster and show us our sin. The ten commandments tell us that lying, stealing, adultery (of the heart and the body), covetousness, and disobedience are wrong. Without them, we would not know that God disliked those things, that we are accountable to a mighty God.

Let's get some history of the Law real quick, just to know where this "schoolmaster" comes from. Much of what we call the law were specialized instructions - how to build the tabernacle, how the priests were to behave, etc. etc. Circumcision was reaffirmed as a sign of commitment to God from the Hebrews. There are over 600 items on the list in all - 350 things not to be done or partaken of, and 250 things they were required to do. When first given this law, the Jews emphatically declared their resolve to keep this law. Of course, reading the history that makes up much of the old testament, we see how well that worked out: failure after failure is recorded. Even the priests, the most important part of the Levitical law command chain, were unable to keep the law. There was no salvation to be won through the law, no goodie points to be had. It was simply impossible.

This was, of course, the point, as revealed in Romans. The law is a tool to be used to highlight how depraved mankind is, how they cannot make it on their own. The repeated failure by the Hebrew people was all to prepare them for the Messiah who would come and rescue them from that up-and-down cycle. In Hebrews 8, the author writes:

For if that first covenant [the law] had been faultless, then should no place have been sought for the second. For finding fault with them, he saith, Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah: Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to lead them out of the Land of Egypt; because they continued not in my covenant, and I regarded them not, saith the Lord.

He goes on to talk to his Jewish readers about how the laws "would be written on their hearts," and how God would forgive their iniquities (that was, of course, a quotation by the author from Jeremiah 31). So even to the Jewish people, God made the promise that he would eventually remove from them the old covenant: that is, the entirety of the law.

Some people will take the part where he talks about the law being written on their hearts and say- "You see? There we go. The Levitical law is written on our hearts, sort of like a conscience, and we're supposed to follow it." If that's so, then each one of us should feel the pricking of our conscience, that little voice of the Holy Spirit, whenever we eat bacon or wear nylon. But none (or very few) of us do, unless we're constantly thinking about how we should feel bad about those things. So what then is this law? I'm not sure. I haven't finished studying it out yet. I may have to come back in a few weeks and say "Oops, I was wrong. I'm going to give up pork and my Saturday shopping," but we'll see. ;)

The point of all this is, I suppose, that we don't have to follow the law because we are under grace. Christ fulfilled the qualifications of the law. He satisfied the justice of God. You see this all throughout the Gospels, in the epistles of the New Testament. We are no longer under the law, we are under grace. The law of the Spirit of life has made us free from the law of sin and death. The law is an all-or-nothing proposition. You can't pick and choose which qualifications you want- "Oh, I'm going to go to church on Saturday and abstain from pork, but not stone my child who rebels, or a woman I suspect of being a witch, and I'm going to let my heater come on on Saturday, because I don't like getting frozen."

Either you follow the law, or you do not. Either you try to be justified under it, or you do not.

I'm glad I'm free from that. I'm glad that Christ so loved me that he was willing to come and die for me, to bring me a new covenant. He died for me! The Lord of the Universe gave his perfect, sinless life for me! Why do I need to follow the law, when I am freed and perfected in him?

Do I still sin? Of course. But I can rest and have peace knowing that I'm not under the law, that I don't have to follow an endless set of qualifications to win brownie points, or whatever it is we're supposed to do by following the law. I am free, thanks to Christ. Are you?

To read more about this subject, I'd suggest procuring a copy of Andrew Farley's "The Naked Gospel." It's an absolutely amazing book. It will change your life. For real.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

"They are Mine"

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So tonight one of my China teammates and I were talking...we're friends on Facebook, and we're also each other's informal cheer-leading team. We pick each other up when we fall, cheer the other to keep going, and just basically do our hardest to make sure both of us end up in China. Anyway. We got on the subject of fundraising, as always. That's pretty much the most stable thing in our lives right now: the ever-present need for money so we can actually get to China.

I always seem to go through stages. I get a donation, and I'm all geared up and ready to go. Then, as weeks go on and nothing comes in, I start to get discouraged. My faith wanes. It's a sad truth. I'm not Hudson Taylor quite yet. Well, Teamie and I were kind of talking about that, about how it's easy to get discouraged.

I'm currently reading through the minor prophets, mostly because they're so optimistic and stuff. Anyway. Haggai was where I began, and since it's only two chapters, I read it all. But I was brought up short at verse 8 of chapter 2. That verse simply reads:

The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the Lord of hosts.

So here I am, getting all discouraged because I'm only at $500, I have about $4,000 still to raise, and I only have 5 months left...

And God simply plants this verse. Like seriously, that's sometimes how I feel. Sometimes I feel like a certain verse couldn't have been there before, that the next time I read through that passage, that verse won't be there because it was deliberately put there just for that moment.

That's how I felt at that moment. It was like God just said- "Woah, Kyla. Hold on a minute. What are you thinking? Are you thinking that I can't do this? Are you thinking that it's impossible for you to have your $3,000 in before May? Are you thinking it's impossible for me to give you not only that $3,000, but also the extra $1,000 you need? Are you thinking that?"

And then it was as if he simply looked into my heart and said: "It all belongs to me. Every bit of it. Every piece of gold in the world - I created that. Every silver flake - I created that. Do you think I can't give you what you need?

The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the Lord of hosts.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

During this Journey (China and other things)

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I currently have $600 towards my trip. God has been showing me a lot lately. He's been teaching me that it's okay to weep for things that hurt my heart and His. He's been showing me that the world is so much bigger than my needs of the moment. He's also been teaching me (or trying, at least) what Christian love and compassion and sacrifice really mean.

Sunday evening, our church had a missionary from Kenya in to preach. Not only did he make me miss Africa like nobody's business, he also preached an absolutely amazing message. During it, he dealt just briefly, almost a side note, on what "Christian" means. Our simplest definition is simply "Christ-like."

He asked us what that meant. And I heard that simple, small voice way back there in my heart that I get sometimes. And it simply said- "In everything."

Sometimes, I can get so caught up with the big things - in preparing for my life as an overseas missionary, in planning for this trip to China - that I forget about the little things. Yes, my heart belongs in overseas missions, with the lost and hurting that have never heard in other places. It almost physically hurts me to think of having to stay right here in the 'States for the rest of my life. I don't think I could do that.

But amidst all that, amidst the cry of my heart, I forget to be patient and just live my life right here. I forget that being a true Christian means acting like Christ right here in my home. I have a temper. I'll just admit that right up front. And it can be a hard thing to control, especially towards my siblings. They mess in my stuff, and I get angry. I yell. Christ wouldn't do that. If being a true Christian means I have to act like Christ, then I'm a pretty messed up Christian.

I can't say that I've achieved overnight success. That's never been one of my stories: that I've been able to, with the power of Christ, conquer my many troubles with a blink of my eye. That's never happened for me. I still need Christ's help for this, I know that. And I think he'll give it. Because after all, he's helped me with so many other things.

Today is Valentine's Day, and all over the US, people are celebrating love. Since I don't have a boyfriend or whatever to dote upon (or to be doted upon by), I've decided to devote this day to the best love of all - Jesus Christ's. I've been thinking about it, been praying for those who have never heard of that love. Because so, so many people haven't ever had a chance to hear of it. That's my prayer for today.

Now, leading back to China (yes, this is all really a carefully-crafted advertising ploy. Just kidding; I hadn't intended to go into the lessons learned and all. I don't know where that came from)...

Like I said, my balance currently stands at about $600. That's $525 in my actual missionary account, and just over $100 in my "other expenses" bank account ($60 of that has to go towards insurance this month). But I'm still in so much need of funds. Please, please consider either helping me through prayer or support, telling your friends, directing them to my blog, whatever. I can feel that God is going to do great things throughout the next few months, and right now he's just preparing me. If you'd like to donate, or to direct someone as to how to donate, you can email me at kyladenae94@yahoo.com, and I'll give you the directions and everything. :))

Anyway. Money-begging aside...I serve the most amazing, awesome God anyone could ever think of. In fact, he's so amazing that I don't think we could have thought of him on our own.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

American vs. Christian

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

This is a rather political post. I'm just forewarning you. ;)

“American.” To some Christians, this label is all-important. It’s part of their identity. They sing rousing songs about how they’re “proud to be an American!” Now, I see nothing wrong with liking to live in America. America is awesome. Without America, I wouldn’t be able to run two blogs, both of which have criticized the government. I wouldn’t be free to do what I do best: cause trouble. So it’s not that I don’t love America or that I want America to die or something, far from it.

My concern comes from the fact that American Christians have gotten so lost in identifying themselves as Americans that they’ve forgotten what Christian means. They’ve begun worshipping America to such an extent that they’ve neglected Christ. They’ve managed to put their flag on a pedestal, and forgotten that the only thing they should be doing that with is Him.

To this accusation, some will respond “But America is a Christian nation! So we need to keep it and honor it!” Is America a Christian nation? Can America, with her record of killing and covering it up, of messing in other people’s business, of promoting violent dictators while casting others down and killing innocents…can a nation like that truly be called a Christian one when the Bible states we are not to kill, we are to love the innocent, we are to feed, clothe and nourish even our enemies (Proverbs 5:21)?! When Jesus said “love your neighbor as yourself,” did he add the stipulation that if your neighbor hit you, you could hit him back? That if your neighbor made you angry, he was fair game?

I tell you this: that it is impossible for America to be a Christian nation. It is impossible for any country to be “Christian” in that sense. A nation, a collective whole, a government, cannot ascribe to a religion. America’s actions, her government’s actions, show her to be unchristian. If we saw a fellow “Christian” doing half the things America’s government has done, we would run him out of church! We would turn him into the police! But somehow, it is alright for our “Christian” national government to do these things.

Christianity is, by its very definition, an individual pursuit. “Christian” means “like Christ.” How can a government and a collective nation be like Christ unless they give up everything for His sake? They send every resource they have out to the world for free. They open their borders for those who are hurting to come in. If someone attacks them, they respond with the willing grace of a Christian and say, “Hey, by the way, you forgot to come take this.” That is what a Christian nation would look like. But does America look like that? Does America forgive its enemies, bless those that curse it?

America is nothing. America is little lines on a map and a two-hundred year old piece of paper. Now let me introduce you to my God.

He is everything, the sum total of all that is, because He created it. He owns the world, the stars, and the infinite galaxies. It tells us in the Bible that He’s going to fold up the universe like it was a mere blanket. He is eternal, never beginning and never ending. His book is the Word of Life. And most importantly, He died for us. All of that splendor, that majesty, boiled down to mere humanity, all so that could become sin for us.

What is America, in light of that? Absolutely nothing.

The fact is, Christian, that you do not belong to the government. America has no claim on you anymore, not on your soul or thoughts or even your time. All of that belongs to someone way more important: the God of the universe Himself. You don’t even belong to yourself. Your sole pursuit now should be following Jesus Christ, following His commandments.

Many Christians in America today have forgotten what following Jesus Christ really looks like. Jesus didn’t come to us to promise a comfy church pew and manifold blessings. There’s a reason He told people to “take up their cross” and follow Him. The path of following Jesus is a hard one. It’s a narrow one. It’s one of those annoying mountain paths that, as you creep upwards, you just know you’re going to fall off at the slightest misstep. That is what following Jesus is like.

The nationalism many American Christians display is frightening. They put the concerns of their nation above those of their God. They hear of stories of the American military killing Yemeni schoolchildren, and they call it “collateral damage.” Do you think that Jesus Christ is looking down at that and saying “Oh well. Collateral damage. I understand why they had to do that; after all, they’re at war.” Do you think that Jesus Christ hears of children in Iraq and Afghanistan getting blown to bits and says “Oops. Misfire. Oh well. Collateral damage.”

Do you think that when you get to Heaven, Jesus’ first question to you is going to be, “So, did you support your government? Did you support your troops? Was your nation important to you? How ardently did you love your country?”

Or do you think His questions will go, “Did you follow Me? Was your every thought towards Me? Did your heart beat for Me; were your hands and your feet willing to go do great things for Me?”

Remember what following Christ is supposed to be like? None of it consists of nationalistic fervor towards a transitory government. None of it involves the “support” of a military. Christian, you are supposed to abide in Christ. In Christ! You’re supposed to be so wholly consumed with Him that the only thing the world sees is Him. That means speaking up against injustice, going and doing and being everything that He was here. Jesus can’t be here at the moment. But we are here. And what testimony are we setting, what is it that others see? Why is it that in many places in the world, Christian is a synonym for American imperialism? Why is that? Examine yourselves, Christians, and ask why that is!

Imagine what would happen if every professing Christian in America stepped up to the plate, returned to the foot of cross, and begged forgiveness for their hard-heartedness. Then imagine if every one of them stood up, stepped forward, and picked that cross up. Imagine if every one of them started doing instead of just being. Imagine if every one of them adopted a child from Africa, or went to Asia, or prayed for Latin America. Imagine if every one of them got on fire for God and looked to the needs of His Kingdom rather than the needs of America’s kingdom. Close your eyes and imagine what the world would look like.

The world was turned upside down with just two men in Acts. Now imagine what would happen if every professing Christian in America told about Him, lived about Him, breathed about Him. Imagine what would happen if every professing Christian valued Him above their own lives. We would turn this world upside down, inside out, then flip it all back around and set it on fire!

Some say it is too difficult, that the world is too far gone. I don’t believe it. Some say we should cut our losses, sit here in America, and pray for it to not fall to the forces of evil. They forget that we have brothers and sisters in Christ out there, some who have come on the receiving end of America’s wrath. We forget that elsewhere, revival is happening. We forget that we serve the mightiest being in existence.

Ladies and gentlemen, I issue an appeal today, and a challenge. I ask you to search your hearts, to see if these things are true. Don’t go into it with a preconception; don’t mentally decide what you’re going to come up with. Don’t give yourself trite answers which are just as bad as lies, or offer yourself half-baked excuses for behavior around you. Then learn to value “Christian” more than “American.” Learn to look at your country objectively, to see it has faults, and to work around it and beyond it and within it to transform the people who live in it.

Let’s turn this world upside down.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Got Jesus?

Suilaid!

This is just a quick reflection that popped into my mind today as I was looking through sets on Polyvore. One of the ladies who I follow had made a set that featured a quote- "Got Jesus?" While I find it is an interesting cultural phenomenon to study, the 'got ___' advertising gimmick first inspired by the 'got milk' campaign, I don't think that that phrase fully conveys the unique relationship between Savior and saved.

We don't "got Jesus," or to put it in the grammatically correct way, we don't "have Jesus." Jesus is not a possession to be had. A possession can be put on a shelf, it can be forgotten now and then, shoved into a corner so we don't have to pay any attention to it. But we shouldn't do that to Jesus.

I think a more apt way to put this would be- "Does Jesus have you?" You do not possess Jesus; Jesus possesses you. He bought you with the dearest price imaginable, that of His precious, pure blood. You choose to acknowledge His ownership of your heart, soul, and mind, and to listen to His direction in your life.

So no, I do not "got Jesus." Jesus has me. I am His possession, I am not my own.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Claiming My Birthright

Suilaid!

I've been reading (and am almost finished with) "The Naked Gospel" by Andrew Farley. It's a seriously amazing book, and I strongly suggest each and every one of you get it and read it as soon as possible, because it will totally change your outlook on what salvation means, and what your birthright as a believer is. And that's what this post is about!

I'm going to point out some particularly outstanding things I noticed, so I don't give you a summary of the whole book. (Actually, right now, before you read this, you might want to go out and buy the book, read it, then come and see what I'm talking about. There can be spoilers about nonfiction books, too. :P)

One of the things he talks about in there is just how we identify ourselves as believers. If you look at Acts (which I'm reading at the moment, by the way), saved believers are always referred to as "saints." But Farley talks about how modern Christians are basically afraid to be identified as "saints," mostly (in my opinion) because of the Catholic Church's qualifications that have to be met before one can be labeled a "saint." But that's just my opinion. :P The point is, in any case, that from the get-go, we refuse to be identified as what we are- saints of God, marked to stand next to his Son, to rule over the world! We are "more than conquerors" but we refuse to be labeled as such!

Farley also talks about the belief that Christians (saved believers) still have a mysterious "old man" hanging around them after they get saved. Even though Paul specifically states in Romans that the "old man" is dead, died on the cross with Jesus, and we were resurrected as new creatures in Christ, some circles still insist upon believing we have some of that old nature left in us. Farley challenges his readers to realize that we have been set free from the nature of sin that once enslaved us. Now, the only thing that makes us sin is our physical body's selfish and excessive wants and desires.

I have to say that, seeing all this conveyed so eloquently has really changed my thoughts on some things. While I was already heading in this direction, knowing that Christ took care of it all, it was difficult for me to know how to claim it, to look to Biblical evidence and say "Yes, here is how I know such-and-such." And now I know. :))

I'm claiming my birthright as a child of God. I have been set free from my bondage. I am a saint of God, ordained to be His for eternity. Jesus Christ's work on the cross paid the penalty for my sin and made it so I could go to heaven. His resurrection prepared the way for me to have a new life in Him, right now, here on earth.

As Josh Hamilton said in his song "The Anthem" (which is, by the way, not a song I would ordinarily like, but Chelsea made me listen to it, and I love the message of the words):

I am royalty
I have destiny
I have been set free
I'm gonna' change the world!

I am a child of God, a royal of the highest order. I have a destiny through Him, because of Him. I have been set free of every bond and chain that was on me as a child of this world. And now, there's nothing to keep me from going and changing the world.

So, to close: go read The Naked Gospel. It'll rock your world. And then come tell me about it. If you've already read it, give me thoughts. I like thoughts. :))

Let's go change the world.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Whatever ye have...

Suilaid!

Yesterday I was reading in 1 Timothy. In the sixth chapter, Paul is talking to Timothy about being content with whatever he has, no matter how much or how little it is.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us therewith be content."
(1 Timothy 6:6-8)

God has really been speaking to me about this lately: to just be content with what I have, and let it be enough for me, no matter what my other circumstances are. These verses brought to mind these from Matthew, which first came to my attention a few weeks ago when I was reading a book about Hudson Taylor.

"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."
(Matthew 6:25-34)

In these verses, Jesus is basically saying: "What in the world are you doing worrying about it? Doesn't my father take care of every creature in the world? Don't you think he can take care of you? If so, then why worry?"

I can't say I've completely hammered this one down. I always want something- a new gadget, a book, a treat. But I'm working on it.

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
(Philippians 4:11)

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Radical Love

Suilaid!

I've been doing some serious soul-searching lately. I guess it's not really "soul-searching" per se, but more like...I've slowly been coming to some realizations about some different things. I've begun to see Christ and His sacrifice in a whole new way, a way that I'd never been able to see it in before. And because of that, it changes my whole outlook on life. It's as if...

Knowing what Christ did for me and the rest of humanity makes it difficult to keep doing some things. I can't just dismiss death anymore, not without asking myself the question- "Now did they know Christ? Was there something I could have done about that?" (There's still no sugar-coating it with me- if somebody died, I think it's better to just say 'they died' and be done with it, but that's just me. v.v)

I've discovered a new, deeper love for humanity. I used to think it would be a sacrifice to give up some things. But now I find myself asking the question- would I give this up for Christ? Could I give this up for Christ, if it meant doing something for Him? Many times, the answer is yes. In fact, I think I might even be able to brave snakes for Him. Spiders...eh, we're still working on that one. We'll get it eventually. :D

One thing it most definitely has impressed upon me is the plight of souls all over the globe. You know, it's so easy to go through life not caring. I used to do it. Salvation was cool, but it didn't matter that much. You know, people had plenty of time, somebody else would tell them, all that jazz.

But lately, I've come to realize that it is important. Jesus Christ, the God of the universe, gave His life for every single person who I ever talk to. He died for every person I drive by, for every checker at Walmart, for every kid at my Good News Club. He died for the world. He gave His life- a perfect, sinless, beautiful life that had blessed so many before, and has blessed so many since.

With that in mind, with that call in my heart, how can I keep silent? How can I avoid the stark realities staring me in the face- that everyday, thousands of people pass into eternity without knowing that someone loved them enough to give his life? Without knowing that there is hope, that there is someone who can lift the pall of sin and shame, and show them a more deep and wonderful joy than they have ever known? Someone who died so that they don't have to go to a sinner's hell?

All of this really comes to the forefront when I see the hate some Christians display towards those who aren't saved, or who don't even claim to be Christian. I've seen some Christians- many Christians, many more than I think we realize- who react with such vehemence to things that it's almost appalling. They forget that the love of Christ was what constrained Him to die...and that He didn't just die for the rich, righteous people. George MacLeod once said:

"I simply argue that the cross should be raised at the center of the marketplace as well as on the steeple of the church. I am recovering the claim that Jesus was not crucified in a cathedral between two candles, but on a cross between two thieves; on the town's garbage heap; at a crossroad, so cosmopolitan they had to write His title in Hebrew and Latin and Greek...at the kind of place where cynics talk smut, and thieves curse, and soldiers gamble. Because that is where He died. And that is what He died for. And that is what He died about. That is where churchmen ought to be and what churchmen ought to be about."

Our Savior died, not for the righteous, but for those who were hurting. He died for those who had no hope. He died so that people who didn't know what life they were missing out on could be made free from the sin and hopeless despair that filled them. He died so that the rapist could see true love. He died so that the murderer could be forgiven and experience joy. He died so that the terrorist could find a love as radical as his hate.

He died in the most terrible way so that those people could have forgiveness and freedom. That is why He died.

Another thing that bugs me, along that tack- Christians who think that, in some indefinable way, they're superior. I think I dealt with this before in another blog post, but I'll reiterate anyway.

We are no better than the aforementioned murderer or rapist or terrorist. We have lied, we have stolen, we have quite probably committed adultery in our hearts, and "he that offendeth in one point is guilty of all." What do we have to crow about? Why do we think we are superior? We're not any higher or more righteous than they are!

In fact, we are supposed to think of ourselves as lower than all those people, just like Jesus did. Jesus acted like a servant. He came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and give his life a ransom (Matthew 20:28). We are supposed to do the same (see verse 27). We are supposed to esteem all men higher than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). That is what we are called to do, not act superior and look down upon the least of these in our high and mighty approach to ourselves.

We are supposed to humbly carry the love of Christ to them, to take care of them. We are supposed to give up our coat and our daily bread for them. We are supposed to teach them of a higher love, a greater love than even ours, a love that carried God Himself to the cross.

That is what the Christian life is supposed to be. It is supposed to be a sacrificial giving of oneself.
I'm sad to say that my life very often isn't one bit like that. I like my American middle-class comfort too well. I see homeless people all the time and I look the other way. I know families that could use help and I use the age-old "somebody else will take care of it" excuse. I don't practice a radical love, a love that would give everything, not barring life, for people, for Christ.

Truth be told, I don't even know if such a love is possible for humans to have. But I don't think that means we're not supposed to try, with Christ's help, to taste a bit of it. To be willing to act like servants to the least among us. To, as Charles Spurgeon said, make people leap to hell over our bodies.

"If sinners will be damned, at least let them leap to hell over our bodies. And if they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay. If hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go there unwarned and un-prayed for."

Charles Spurgeon

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty