this queer empty feeling

Do you ever get this feeling after you finish reading a book or watching a movie, of being absolutely aimless? I get it a lot, and I can't say that I particularly enjoy it. I went to see The Hobbit last weekend (lordy, it's already been a week), and I had that feeling for several days.

Still do, actually.

Shh.

It's not that my life isn't a nice one. It isn't that I'm particularly unsatisfied with the way my life is. It's simply that works of art like Tolkien's stories speak to me on some deep, primal level that even I can't access at will. And that is sort of amazing. Art--music, the written word, paintings--can speak to a person's soul far beyond anything else.

And that just makes me feel sort of awesome about being a writer. So I relish that queer, empty feeling deep inside. Because it means I have the oh-so-human ability to be moved by something beautiful, and makes me feel that perhaps, someday, I could move someone else in the same way.

- Kyla Denae

of hobbits and a revolution

Today I realized that The Hobbit comes out in fifty days. Now, that may not seem like an incredible happening to some of you, but I'm pretty excited. I've been waiting a long time for a rendition of Tolkien's smaller (and arguably less serious) book. I've never liked it quite as much as I liked Lord of the Rings, but I'm always up for another, fresh journey to Middle Earth, no matter who's taking me.

The film edition of Les Miserables (with Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman) comes out a couple weeks later, and my mom has promised to take me to see it (mostly because she didn't manage to get me over to our hometown's small theatre company's production of it). I'm quite excited about that one, too.

I read Les Miserables earlier this year, and adored it, utterly and completely. As I told a friend last night, it just gives me a lot of literary feelings. It has everything I love--religion, history, romance, adventure, believable character arcs, beautiful people, horrible people, and a little bit of the in between. It deals with the story of a character that I firmly believe is one of the most amazing to ever grace literature, an opinion that may change (but I really hope not, because I really love Jean Valjean)--a character that changes so beautifully, whose inner thoughts are so wonderfully illuminated through the events of his story--and it has another, albeit minor, character that is so wonderfully, purely Christian that it makes me smile just to think of it.

So I'm excited about that movie, too. Because I can't wait to see it, to see one of my favorite stories brought to life. Of course, that comes with the added clause that, if it stinks, I reserve full right to be very angry and rant to everyone I can about how horrible it was. But that's a whole other issue.

For now, I'm excited, for quite shallow reasons, about the next few months.

- Kyla Denae

remind me why i'm reading this again?

I dislike not finishing books. In fact, I dislike it so much that I make a point of always finishing books--well, except this one book that had some... well, less-than-desirable content. And also Water Wars. Goodness gracious, that book was so dull.

Which, incidentally, leads me to what is possibly the only reason that I would ever not finish a book. I grew up with the classics. I have fond memories of learning to read curled up with Curious George and Beatrix Potter, then moving on to the original Winnie the Pooh books, The Boxcar Children, and the Swiss Family Robinson. The Little Princess, a hearty dose of Nancy Drew, and when I was ten, Moby Dick and many of Jules Verne's books; that's what I cut my literary teeth on.

So when I read a book, I expect to live up to those books in terms of their believability and characters. The Little Princess is a classic for a reason: it's well written and it also has some of the best characters. I still remember them, and periodically go back to the world of a dreaming Sara, a fascinated Rebecca, and the dastardly deeds of Miss Minchin. I've not picked up a Boxcar Children book in forever, but I lived those adventures, and those characters will always form part of what I think of when I hear the word "detective" (or train). Jules Verne will always be one of my favorite authors, mostly because he managed to create beautiful stories that were long enough for me to not just blow through them, but also because his characters and his fictional scenarios fit each other so well.

And then there are those...other books. The ones that have no character development and whose plot seems to be hanging on nothing but a thread of self-importance. The pacing is off, to the point where the reader alternately feels as if she is slogging through quicksand or being pushed through the pages by a bullet train. These are the books that we cringe through, hoping that somehow, it'll get better at the end (I also try to imagine myself writing something spectacularly wonderful and showing up the author. Or just banishing them for their crimes against literature, but that's another post entirely).

They are books that, rather than describing things, tell you in the most boring voice imaginable, exactly what happened and when and where and what the character's hair and nails and teeth looked like when it happened because we all care a lot about how our Elf princess looked when she killed that fellow. Within these books seem to be the most amazing things possible--a person jumping around a circle of men killing them with nothing but her knees as she jumps from shoulder-to-shoulder, or the established rules of vampire lore suddenly coming undone...even within the book's own universe, or there suddenly being a bomb wielded by terrorists who had never been heard of before, but it's okay, because the book is only fifty pages long so far.

(In case you're wondering, I'm totally going to point fingers and name names. I just talked about the Inheritance Cycle, Twilight, and Water Wars respectively. Though the second is kind of a stretch. Stephenie Meyer tries, at least.)

So, dear future authors and current authors and authors that have been, 

Just remember that listing things is not an acceptable replacement for actual description that brings your characters and your world to life. Making a long list about all the things that would logically mean your five-foot-tall herbalist would lose against your six-foot-tall trained warrior, is not the same as describing to us the things that make it so...especially not when you've just done that. In that vein, repetition doesn't mean I'll get your point better, or suddenly realize that your characters are, indeed, traveling across a desert where there is no water and hasn't been water for the past century. Pointless repetition just makes me want to put your book down. Nor will repetition of the same words make me see your political point. It's already been drummed into my head during the first 800 pages; I don't need 80 more that are nothing but a radio speech to make me realize that you're trying to make a point. 

Also, please kindly remember that gory wounds are not the time nor place to make up for your lack of description elsewhere. No matter what you may think, they will not make your battle scenes any more gripping, nor will they make your whiny characters any more lovable. Gory wounds that are described in stomach-turning detail just make me want to put your book up and go read something less nauseating. If I wanted to read about that, I would have picked up an anatomy text book. 

In closing, dear author,  I would greatly appreciate it if you would get to the point instead of leading me on a wild-goose-chase for some semblance of a plot. 

With much love,

- Kyla Denae

I know, I know

I failed.

My resolution was to make one post a week.

I made one post at the beginning of the month, and this is the only other I've made so far.

I am exceedingly sorry.

In my defense, I've been busy. Books, Sherlock, and fundraising have consumed my thoughts. Not necessarily in that order of course--on some days, it's been more like Sherlock-books-fundraising, and some days fundraising-Sherlock-books. But those three things have always been present.

Sherlock is, of course, a BBC television show. (If you'd like to watch it, be wary of the first episode of the second season. It gets a bit risque.) But it's a beautiful TV show and I love it and I dislike Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. Okay, maybe not that much, because they did bring Sherlock to TV in the first place. But still. They are cruel to we, their poor captive audience.

As to books--I'm delving into Tamora Pierce this week, with Trickster's Choice. I've never read anything by her before, and it should be interesting. I'm also continuing Anna Karenina and beginning Brave New World. Yes.

Speaking of books, you can now buy mine on Amazon! Yes, that is my name and my shiny novel and a low price of $1.00 for the Kindle version (the physical copy is $12.00, but in my defense, that's the lowest price my self-publishing website-thing would allow me to set it as). Any royalties I get will go directly toward my Romania trip funds--

Which brings me to the third topic that I've been unceasingly devoted to for the past two weeks!

Okay, in all reality, I've been barely dedicated to it at all. My writing creativity has stalled and, with it, my ability to write a solid support letter has taken a nose-dive. It's also been snowy and rainy and ridiculously cold and my house has been full of sickness. So please pray that I will be able to make up for lost time.

In closing, I know this hasn't been a tremendously in-depth post. There haven't been any sincere, heart-felt outpourings of love for God or protestations of my desire to serve. I know that. So hopefully, in the next several days, I will be able to craft some sort of sincere, deep post. Even if it's just ten tips to write your own novel. You know.

Also, check out Altogether Separate, a new blogging/forum project I've embarked on with several other Christian homeschooled girls!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Official NaNo '11 Winner!

Yes, I am an official winner of NaNoWriMo 2011! See, see? It's been a very...interesting ride, as always. But it's well worth it, of course, and I have...1/3...of a new novel to celebrate over!

True will be going on hold in a few days so I can finish Valiant. I'm looking to claim my CreateSpace winner goodie and using it to get another proof copy of my first-ever novel, which I'm rewriting at the moment. Then I'll probably launch back into True, get it finished up...

And maybe edit last year's NaNovel. Hey, hope springs eternal.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

This is God's Love

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

This is God's love. It conquers the world.

That is the tail-end of a quote by Frederick Buechner, quoted in Crazy Love. What is God's love?

The love for equals is a human thing - of friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles. The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing - the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world. The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing - to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints. And then there is the love for the enemy - love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain. The tortured's love for the torturer. This is God's love. It conquers the world.

Beautiful.

Seriously, you have to read this book. Right now.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Crazy Love and Kittens

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So I just acquired a copy of Francis Chan's Crazy Love. It is quite possibly one of the most amazing non-Bible books I've ever read. :D I'm only in chapter 4, but it's still good. I'll probably post a more extensive review after I actually finish.

In other news, I'm currently reading through the books of Moses. I just got done with Numbers and am now in Deuteronomy, eagerly looking forward to getting into Joshua. The law books are bo-ring. I mean, I know they're there for a purpose, and there's tons of history, but I really don't want to hear about the precise ways the Hebrews were supposed to kill baby sheep. Yeah. Not my favorite topic.

So this morning was quite interesting. One of our cats decided 3:30am was the perfect time to deliver a litter of eight kittens! Thankfully, due to the eager ministrations of my mom and little siblings, I got to stay in bed until 7. Haha. So now Chloe is sharing a bed with eight little hairless rats. At least, that's sort of what they look like. Homemaker insists she can tell what sex they are now, despite mom and I repeatedly telling her that she can't tell yet.

As I write this, Monkey, JeeBee, and Handyman keep coming into my room to see the kittens, since we brought Mama-cat in here for safe-keeping. Flipper and Sweet Cheeks are currently passed out on the bed and the couch, respectively, and Sweet Cheeks at least looks like she's going to be there for awhile.

Please be in prayer for one of the kittens. It's a runt, and isn't eating. We're trying to coax it to eat, but we're not getting much cooperation from it or Mama-Cat, so please pray that it'll figure it out and that its siblings will share.

Also, to end on a high note, it was Handyman's birthday on Tuesday. He's now ten years old!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Analyzing a Theme

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Occasionally, in the places of my mind where I process my story-stuff, I start musing over questions. Questions like- "What do I want my book to say at the heart of it?"

Needless to say, I don't ever necessarily have a point to what I write. My stories are just that - stories that are probably pointless and largely full of fluff and sometimes pointless drama that even I don't understand, and wish would stop (darn you, Tony and Enna!). But I suppose every book should have some core meaning, some theme that wraps it up.

So I was thinking about mine today.

Valiant's was pretty simple. Kind of. It's somewhere between love conquers all and your family isn't necessarily the people you were born to. There might also be something in there about how Centaurs are not always evil, or even people on the "wrong" side can be good, but we won't go into that.

Ravaged Time was a bit tougher. It doesn't end on a high note, where every conflict is perfectly resolved. I must admit that **spoiler** my main characters have to split up. Yes. They can't live together, because of a situation that is actually eerily like the end of His Dark Materials, now that I think about it. Oops. That was not intentional. But if I had to choose what the 'theme' was, I'd probably have to say that it was freedom is always worth fighting for. Throughout the whole book, freedom is found. Tony finds freedom from his own attitude. Enna finds freedom from the constraints of Alliance society. Terria and Dravin are fighting for political freedom. And yeah, they could have laid down and become good little Alliance citizens again, but they didn't.

I haven't yet discovered Dark Dawn's theme, or the theme for Stellae. I suppose you'll just have to wait for me to launch into editing to discover those.

What are the core themes of your stories?

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

A Chat With Maerwen

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So...this was a thing on Facebook that several other writers were doing. You're supposed to write a short blurb with your favorite character from your stories, as if they were real. This was what I wrote. It isn't as good as Mirriam's, but I think it's pretty good.

I chose Maerwen because...I like Maerwen. She isn't my favorite character I've ever written, but she was the first one that came to mind, so...yeah. Enjoy. :D

I bite my lip and try to not to be completely frustrated that my characters aren't cooperating. Some people think that your characters don't have a mind of their own. I beg to differ. They're the most ridiculously independent things to ever be invented. I tap my pen against the paper, alternately glancing from it to the computer screen. Yes, I have them both open. It's how I roll.

"Just...write already." the voice of Maerwen comes from behind me. She's standing next to my bed, one hand gently laid on it, looking perfect and beautiful, and...yeah.

"Everything's written."

"Get editing then." she suggests with the cheery ease of somebody who doesn't have to do it - she just has to sit there and watch.

"You won't like it when I do."

Her smile freezes. "And why is that?"

I shrug. "Just because. You never know what I might do."

She comes closer, to lean over my chair and see what I have written. "Excellent. Throw Ionwe to Durion, I don't care."

"If Ionwe goes down, you're going with him." I say.

"No I won't." she insists. "He'll take Anarisia. He likes her better, anyway."

"Of course he does. They're falling in love."

"Pretty silly of them, if you ask me."

"Love isn't silly Maerwen."

"Sure it is. Just see if I ever fall in love."

A grin comes onto my face. She sees it. "What is that for? Stop it. I don't like it. What are you thinking?"

My hands go to my keyboard. "Watch and learn, Madame Pixie."

Haha. I don't think Maerwen is speaking to me anymore. Ah well.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

"His Dark Materials" Review

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So out of inordinate and perhaps insufferable curiosity I read the "His Dark Materials" trilogy, by Philip Pullman.

And...despite its admittedly anti-Christian message, I actually enjoyed it. I know, I know. I'm a bad person. But it is ridiculously hard to find good, solid, well-written YA fantasy. Do you know how difficult that is? The fantasy genre came to a sudden screeching halt after Lord of the Rings. LOTR was written, and people decided they shouldn't come up with anything new. So Philip Pullman's trilogy at least has a new storyline.

So, for those of you who know nothing about His Dark Materials, let me tell you the bare-bones of the plot: Lyra is a twelve year old girl living in Oxford, England - a strange sort of England, where people have dæmons, creatures that are literally the outward expression of their inner souls. These dæmons take the form of animals, and are usually the opposite sex to their human. Anyway. Lyra discovers a secret about kidnappers called "Gobblers." They're kidnapping children and trying to sever their dæmons, hence making them impervious to Dust, or Shadows, or sraf, or Original Sin. Yeah. There's a lot more to it than that, but it could take a whole book to tell you. And it did.

In The Subtle Knife, we meet Will, the wielder of a knife that can cut portals between worlds - Lyra's world, his world, another world, all the worlds. Later we discover the knife has to be destroyed or bad things will happen. In The Amber Spyglass, the real bad guy dies, and Will and Lyra fall in love. Then have to split up, because their dæmons can't survive outside their own world for very long. Remind my little sister never to read these. She'd hate them for the ending only.

Anywho. Yes, these books are very anti-Christian. God ('the Authority') is portrayed as a bad guy - in fact, in Philip Pullman's universe(s), he's not a God at all, he's simply an angel who fooled every one else. But paradoxically, the Authority isn't even the real bad guy. In The Amber Spyglass, he's portrayed as a decrepit old man who can't hardly move, and dissolves the moment he steps out onto the ground. The real bad guy in His Dark Materials is Megatron/Enoch/the High Regent, a despot who wants to control all the worlds and kill any mortal who stands in his way. He's killed in The Amber Spyglass. In most places, however, it almost seems more anti-organized religion. Anti-Catholic Church in many places, actually. At the end, God is "dead," and Lyra and Will free all the dead people from the netherworld that was their home, and they become part of everything.

Word of warning, however - if you're not secure in your faith, if you're not ready to be challenged, don't read it. Because that's what these books will do, and I think that's what they're intended to do: completely rock your world and make you doubt. That's okay. It challenges us (or at least, it did me) to seriously evaluate "Why do I believe what I believe?" I think that's a good thing.

So, to sum up:

The pros are

1. Original storyline
2. Superb storytelling and detail
3. Dynamic characters

The cons are

1. Anti-God, more than anything
2. Rather confusing in places, it must be admitted

Yeah. So.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty