Wednesday, June 1, 2011

God, You Know What You're Doing, But...

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم
That's pretty much what I've been saying for the past week. This probably, once again, demonstrates an incredible lack of faith on my part. I'm sorry, God. It's just...yeah.

After a week of only getting $100 in direct trip donations, and having two prospective fundraisers fall through, I've kind of gotten discouraged. I sit here wondering what God's doing, what he's trying to prove to me. I'm not quite sure what I should think. It almost seems like he's done a complete 180 on provision.

In the beginning, things seemed to be going quite well. Donations rolled in nearly every week, including one $1,000 donation that made me quite deliriously happy, to the point of dancing through the house and nearly killing a cat. I held a bake sale which made $300 more than what everyone said I would make ($200), effectively proving that you shouldn't tell God what he can do.

But now...I don't know. I suppose I'm just disappointed that miracles don't happen on my schedule. And this is my ranting, whiny blog post to tell you about it.

Of course, then there was tonight, when I was practicing with our church's choir. We're going to be singing "Bow the Knee" in a couple weeks (and amidst my summer activities, I'll probably miss singing it, which makes me sad). This is the first verse and chorus of that phenomenal song:

There are moments on our journey following the Lord
Where God illumines ev’ry step we take.
There are times when circumstances make perfect sense to us,
As we try to understand each move He makes.
When the path grows dim and our questions have no answers, turn to Him.

Bow the knee;
Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see.
Bow the knee;
Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.
And when you don’t understand the purpose of His plan,
In the presence of the King, bow the knee.

And I suppose that's my answer from God. That no matter what, he's got it under control. So I need to just pray and trust him, wait for him to work some miracle in the next 29 days wherein I'm not going to have time to do another proper fundraiser. To trust him to do something nearly every human on the planet would say is impossible.

Because my God is, in many ways, an impossible God. And I love him for it.

29 days. $1100. Oh yeah, my God's got this.



elizabeth said...

Those are beautiful lyrics!!

God will have everything under control. I know its hard, but have complete faith that the Lord will get all the funds together. I'm exciting to hear about how God is going to get these funds together.
Have a great day!!

Siriana said...

I totally know what thats like.

Just last month and the month before I was going through the same thing with a trip to Fine Arts Festival.

Keep your chin up :) God's Got This


Liberty said...

Thanks ladies. :) God did, indeed provide, probably even before I was writing this. He used someone I least expected (as always), and that's awesome. :))))