Monday, February 14, 2011

During this Journey (China and other things)

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم
Send Me to China!!

I currently have $600 towards my trip. God has been showing me a lot lately. He's been teaching me that it's okay to weep for things that hurt my heart and His. He's been showing me that the world is so much bigger than my needs of the moment. He's also been teaching me (or trying, at least) what Christian love and compassion and sacrifice really mean.

Sunday evening, our church had a missionary from Kenya in to preach. Not only did he make me miss Africa like nobody's business, he also preached an absolutely amazing message. During it, he dealt just briefly, almost a side note, on what "Christian" means. Our simplest definition is simply "Christ-like."

He asked us what that meant. And I heard that simple, small voice way back there in my heart that I get sometimes. And it simply said- "In everything."

Sometimes, I can get so caught up with the big things - in preparing for my life as an overseas missionary, in planning for this trip to China - that I forget about the little things. Yes, my heart belongs in overseas missions, with the lost and hurting that have never heard in other places. It almost physically hurts me to think of having to stay right here in the 'States for the rest of my life. I don't think I could do that.

But amidst all that, amidst the cry of my heart, I forget to be patient and just live my life right here. I forget that being a true Christian means acting like Christ right here in my home. I have a temper. I'll just admit that right up front. And it can be a hard thing to control, especially towards my siblings. They mess in my stuff, and I get angry. I yell. Christ wouldn't do that. If being a true Christian means I have to act like Christ, then I'm a pretty messed up Christian.

I can't say that I've achieved overnight success. That's never been one of my stories: that I've been able to, with the power of Christ, conquer my many troubles with a blink of my eye. That's never happened for me. I still need Christ's help for this, I know that. And I think he'll give it. Because after all, he's helped me with so many other things.

Today is Valentine's Day, and all over the US, people are celebrating love. Since I don't have a boyfriend or whatever to dote upon (or to be doted upon by), I've decided to devote this day to the best love of all - Jesus Christ's. I've been thinking about it, been praying for those who have never heard of that love. Because so, so many people haven't ever had a chance to hear of it. That's my prayer for today.

Now, leading back to China (yes, this is all really a carefully-crafted advertising ploy. Just kidding; I hadn't intended to go into the lessons learned and all. I don't know where that came from)...

Like I said, my balance currently stands at about $600. That's $525 in my actual missionary account, and just over $100 in my "other expenses" bank account ($60 of that has to go towards insurance this month). But I'm still in so much need of funds. Please, please consider either helping me through prayer or support, telling your friends, directing them to my blog, whatever. I can feel that God is going to do great things throughout the next few months, and right now he's just preparing me. If you'd like to donate, or to direct someone as to how to donate, you can email me at, and I'll give you the directions and everything. :))

Anyway. Money-begging aside...I serve the most amazing, awesome God anyone could ever think of. In fact, he's so amazing that I don't think we could have thought of him on our own.


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