growth

I was reading through some of my old blog posts and writings earlier.

it's embarrassing.

immensely.

it makes me realize just why adults laughed at me.

because i was a little idiot.

I was what could be termed a precocious child. And then a precocious teenager. Constantly thinking I knew way more than I actually did. I realize now, looking back, just how utterly silly I actually was, and how silly I still am. But I suppose that that, too, in its own way, is definitely a form of growth. I've realized just how silly I was, and know it. I've realized that the world is bigger than just me or my beliefs, that there are things that can't be pushed into a box, that sometimes the world isn't just black and white, us and them, what's known and what's unknown.

There is grey. And I find that kind of amazing. That there are things in the universe that I, quite simply, will never be able to understand. That there are processes that transcend my paltry understanding.

And while I try to navigate through things that just seem really, really absurd and difficult and awkward...you know, the universe is so much bigger than all of that. And someday, I'll look back at all of this, and laugh a lot and cringe a little, and think you know what, I wasn't all that bad.

- Kyla Denae