so it's been awhile

First it was our internet. And then it was a two-week trip to Lubbock. And then it was still our internet. And then it was a two week trip to Romania. So I have reasons for not having posted. Honest.
To begin with the first--our internet went down, apparently because our modem failed. We now have a new one and, while the 'net is still not hooked up to my laptop, I'm no longer suffering in the land of unconnectedness. Did you know that practically all my friends live on the internet? And those that I know in real life still mostly communicate with me via the internet? It's kind of depressing, actually, and I could probably derive some sort of lesson about the breakdown of communication in modern American culture from this happening, but I'm too lazy and jet-lagged to bother with it at the moment.

Christian Youth In Action (a nine day training program hosted by Child Evangelism Fellowship all over the US for local teens every year) was amazing this year. I got to know some people I'd not before, made some new friends, and had an awesome time. Ah, memories. You know that group of people you might have that are like a second family, who you can't wait to be around, who are always supportive and encouraging and, yeah, they have their problems and occasionally there's dramatic moments where we all want to strangle each other, but they're still epic? That's what the CYIA'ers are like. And I sort of love it.

As to Romania, I'll hopefully be making a few posts about that at some other time in the next few days. For now, let me just say that I'm trying to process, to decide what I think, to dredge up some memories from the jet-lagged morass. I'll get back to you on how that's going. But for now, pache (peace).

- Kyla Denae

but

'But' can be one of the most beautiful words. Think about it. But signals a reversal, a redemption, a change in thought. Such-and-such is true, but. I especially like it when I come across this word in the Bible. Very often, it means something exceptionally good is about to come along. Just like with this verse:

And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. - 1 Corinthians 5:11

For some context--Paul has just finished talking about lawsuits between believers, and then gone into the varieties of people that won't see the kingdom of God. Thieves, fornicators, covetous, drunkards...all of these and more have no hope of inheriting the kingdom. They have been severed forever from God by the things they've done. They had a choice, they chose wrong, end of story.

Or is it?

The first part of this verse lets us know that Paul knows the church at Corinth intimately. He knows that the people in this church have committed sins--grievous ones. In fact, more than that, he knows himself! In 1 Timothy, he called himself a 'chief sinner', basically saying "I'm a bigger sinner than all y'all." This verse starts off with an acknowledgement of that fact, of the fact that every one is a sinner, that none of us can inherit the kingdom of God, that there is none righteous, no not one.

but.

but you are washed.

but you are sanctified.

but you are justified.

Yes, we've all done things that immediately disqualify us from going to heaven. Yes, we've all done things that disqualify us from having a relationship with Christ. Yes, we've all done things that disqualify us from experiencing the peace and joy that comes with that relationship.

but.

In the name of the Lord Jesus, by the indwelling Holy Spirit of God, we have been washed. We have been sanctified. We have been justified. We are no longer our own, we are God's, we are no longer what we were, we have been dramatically reversed, like a great big 'but' has been made into the sum total of our lives. Our past record has been erased, and in its place have been put two words:

but Jesus.

- Kyla Denae

final countdown

We're nearing the last days before summer begins. In less than two weeks, I will be leaving home to head two hours south on a nine-day journey that I've taken twice before. And it's going to be amazing, because I get to spend time with friends I've not seen in a couple years, spend time with an absolutely awesome God, and teach kids about said awesome God.

In just over 30 days (one month. one. month.) I will be driving to Dallas/Fort Worth to get on a plane for Frankfurt, Germany.

God has something planned for this summer. And I don't just mean safe traveling mercies, or maybe a mildly fun time overseas. A year ago, I had a desire to go to Romania. I expected to maybe be counting down to another GE trip at this point. That didn't happen, and instead I'm going with my church. But that desire hasn't changed, and whatever's going to go down, I'm confident it's going to be something that's going to blow the lid off my expectations--again. And I'm so ready.

O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsts for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary. - Psalm 63:1-2

- Kyla Denae

confidence

It's come upon me off and on over the years--this small voice, deep inside, that insists upon telling me that I'm not good enough, or not pretty enough, or that if I'd just act this certain way, or dress this certain way, or talk this certain way, I'd be popular. I've worried that my personality is the wrong sort, that my fashion sense is horrible, that my body isn't attractive...overall, I've had just about the same thoughts that most humans have at some time or another, directed towards myself. I'm sure we've all been there at one time or another; it seems to be a uniquely human trait, this problem of looking at ourselves and seeing nothing but problems. Perhaps it's just a side-product of being self-aware and sentient.

But amidst all this worrying about what other people will think of me, I've come to realize something. I can't make everyone happy. Someone in the world, somewhere, will find me annoying, or be upset about something I do and, in the grand scheme of things, only one person's opinion matters--one person in the whole universe, and that's God. And he, as always, has made it very clear what he thinks:

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. - Psalm 139:14 

We are 'fearfully and wonderfully' made--there is awe surrounding our forming, tiny miracles from the beauty of our growth in the womb until now, as our bodies constantly remake themselves literally every day. We are wonderful creations, in so many ways.

Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit to his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. - Matthew 6:27-29

We cannot change our appearance through conscious thought, yet God has provided; he will continue to do so. We have been fashioned with as much care as the flowers that we adore so much. Take a peek out your window, or take a walk in a park. Take a moment to just pause and marvel at the variety of different colors and types of beauty God has created. You are one of those types, whether you believe it or not.

Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. - Proverbs 31:30

 The definitions of the world change. God's never will.

He hath made everything beautiful in his time... - Ecclesiastes 3:11a

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace... - Isaiah 52:7a

Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair... - Song of Solomon 1:15

 - Kyla Denae

in fifty three days

The countdown has officially begun! In thirty days, I shall be heading two hours south to participate in Christian Youth In Action 2012, which shall be amazingly awesome, and filled with good times with friends, much squealing and laughter, and probably more than a little insanity.

Just twenty days after that (or something like that), I'll be climbing into a bus and heading to Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport, where I and a group of twenty other people shall get onto a very large jet plane and fly to Frankfurt, Germany where we shall catch a connecting flight to somewhere in Hungary. I think. We shall then be continuing on to Timisoara, Romania, where we shall have two weeks of awesome ministry and team-building while sight-seeing and generally having fun times.

So let the insanity begin.

- Kyla Denae