Teenage Musings

One Problem At a Time

2012-02-02T09:12:00.005-06:00

On the last day I was in China, a couple members of our team (plus myself) went out into Guangzhou to buy some breakfast. The rest of our team was sleeping in, so we were by ourselves. We stopped at this little roadside place--it looked like a carport, to be honest, with a dirt floor and a cooker on a rickety table. A few men were sitting inside on overturned buckets and crates, talking back and forth in rapid-fire Chinese while the cooks (two women, one older than the other) made their food. We got this yummy, rather watery porridge with rice, some green stuff, and a few chunks of meat in. We also got youtiao, which is the most amazing bread on the face of the planet, especially when you sprinkle sugar on it.

We walked a few paces down the road and settled down in front of an apartment building; there were some steps there that we could sit on, so we did. About halfway through our meal, this beggar man came up. He stood maybe five feet from us, watching us, occasionally saying something in Chinese that I'm guessing was a plea for money. We carefully avoided looking at him, trying to carry on our own conversations, but it was difficult. He was just standing there, asking for help, and every American tenet and stricture to foreigners told us we couldn't help him--even though I had plenty of yuan in my pocket.

I came across this in Zambia, too. I come across it at home. Maybe not so blatantly--nobody's (hopefully) going to accost me while I'm sitting down and eating my breakfast. But it does happen. How many of us drive right past a homeless man on a street corner nearly every day without a second glance? Wherever we go, needy people will be an ever-present reality.

Our culture tells us that poor people, and especially homeless people, must somehow be at fault for their position. We see a man on a street corner with a ratty jacket, broken-down shoes, and a carboard sign, and the first thought that pops into our mind is "free-loading druggie" or "alcoholic who doesn't want to take care of his kids". We see a woman with a hat jammed down over her hair, her clothes old and worn, and we might think "prostitute". Our entire culture tells us not to give these people money; that they'll just use it for less than honorable purposes and you'll have wasted it. When we go overseas, we're told we'll get thronged with needy people if we help one, that it's too dangerous to help because we might get hurt (at least in our pocketbooks).

Yet there's nothing like this attitude in scripture. We look at Jesus, the man who would walk through a crowded building, a building full of the stench of death and disease--so many people who needed helping that it was quite possible if he touched one he'd be stifled by the rush of people yearning for healing--and yet his only thought was for the one person before him. He dealt with the lame man, then moved on to the woman with leprosy, and then to the child who couldn't see, and then to the grandfather that couldn't hear. There were always a few that he couldn't get to, that couldn't make it to him through the crowd. Some had good friends who would pull up a roof to get their friend to him. Some would crawl through merely to touch the corner of his robe. But Jesus always focused on one thing--the person right in front of him and what they needed.

I wonder if maybe we shouldn't practice this as well. Yes, we can't heal all the hurts in the world. We can't even come close. But that's not what we're supposed to do. The effort (and the worrying about it) would drive us mad. Instead, I think we're supposed to focus on one thing at a time, and that's the person right in front of us and their problem. We're not supposed to give thought to tomorrow, to our bodies, to what might become of us because, ultimately, everything is in God's hands. And it could just be that he's going to use us to speak to someone, even if it's through something as simple as extending five bucks or a happy meal.

We are called to be the light of the world, not the lighthouse keepers that are so afraid of making someone angry or getting hurt that we never turn on the light.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

writing, editing, and reviewing

2012-01-20T17:31:00.004-06:00

/begin rather long, random musing on a bunch of writerly things you probably don't care about/

I love to write. Absolutely, positively love to write. There's nothing better than curling up with a notebook and a pen--or my laptop--and pouring my ideas out onto a formerly empty page. So far, I've written three full-length novels, have another in the works, and am working on the rewrite of one of the three. I've written a novella, and have two more in the process of being written, though one might turn into a novel. That's not counting the plethora of projects I've begun and abandoned over the years, always with the mental resolution that I will return to them someday because I love the idea.

Most often, those ideas get relegated to my plot bunnies notepad. It's a long document, full of ideas from terror plots to romantic twists to full plots summed up in ten words or less. It's a place where I shove ideas that push their way into my head in the midst of NaNoWriMo, so I can focus on my novel without a bunch of little rabbits interfering with my actual plot. It's a place of occasionally twisted logic, where 11pm notations are made as my fingers fumble across the keyboard, finding their way somehow.

Sometimes, these ideas actually get written. And then I get to edit them. Yay, but actually not. I absolutely loathe editing. Hate it entirely. If I could somehow discover a way to never do it again, I would be so blissfully happy that I might just up and spend a week dancing around my bedroom singing the theme song to Sherlock. Oh wait--I do that anyway. Never mind. The point is that I don't like it. It's ridiculous and wasteful and...okay, not really. It is very necessary. I just wish it weren't, because it annoys me.

So I usually gloss over editing or let somebody else do it for me. And I edit other people's things and give them reviews on what I thought. Figment.com has a thriving reviewer community. There are some of us that go out of our way to give long, constructive reviews. I like to think I'm one of those people, and maybe I'm not, but we all think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Somehow, reviewing and proof-reading doesn't seem nearly as dull when it's someone else's book. I suppose it's the same basic principle as the feeling that makes cleaning someone else's house enjoyable while cleaning your own house is akin to getting your fingernails pulled out in a Gulag prison.

This has been a very short, random look into my life for no apparent reason. You're welcome.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

I know, I know

2012-01-19T17:20:00.002-06:00

I failed.

My resolution was to make one post a week.

I made one post at the beginning of the month, and this is the only other I've made so far.

I am exceedingly sorry.

In my defense, I've been busy. Books, Sherlock, and fundraising have consumed my thoughts. Not necessarily in that order of course--on some days, it's been more like Sherlock-books-fundraising, and some days fundraising-Sherlock-books. But those three things have always been present.

Sherlock is, of course, a BBC television show. (If you'd like to watch it, be wary of the first episode of the second season. It gets a bit risque.) But it's a beautiful TV show and I love it and I dislike Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. Okay, maybe not that much, because they did bring Sherlock to TV in the first place. But still. They are cruel to we, their poor captive audience.

As to books--I'm delving into Tamora Pierce this week, with Trickster's Choice. I've never read anything by her before, and it should be interesting. I'm also continuing Anna Karenina and beginning Brave New World. Yes.

Speaking of books, you can now buy mine on Amazon! Yes, that is my name and my shiny novel and a low price of $1.00 for the Kindle version (the physical copy is $12.00, but in my defense, that's the lowest price my self-publishing website-thing would allow me to set it as). Any royalties I get will go directly toward my Romania trip funds--

Which brings me to the third topic that I've been unceasingly devoted to for the past two weeks!

Okay, in all reality, I've been barely dedicated to it at all. My writing creativity has stalled and, with it, my ability to write a solid support letter has taken a nose-dive. It's also been snowy and rainy and ridiculously cold and my house has been full of sickness. So please pray that I will be able to make up for lost time.

In closing, I know this hasn't been a tremendously in-depth post. There haven't been any sincere, heart-felt outpourings of love for God or protestations of my desire to serve. I know that. So hopefully, in the next several days, I will be able to craft some sort of sincere, deep post. Even if it's just ten tips to write your own novel. You know.

Also, check out Altogether Separate, a new blogging/forum project I've embarked on with several other Christian homeschooled girls!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Aspirations for 2012

2012-01-03T08:18:00.002-06:00

It still feels odd to type 2012.

This is the year the world will end.

Apparently we're all supposed to die.

Know what I say to that?

Watch my God, you cowards.

2011 was an amazing year. I went to China, something I'd wanted to do for so long. Christmas was amazing. God taught me so many radical, unbelievable things. He gave me what I still believe are miracles. Yes, there have been things that have been hard--things I felt were impossible to get over at the time. But here I am, still safe, because God is faithful. Such is life.

My track-record with resolutions is notoriously bad. Last year I aimed to read 52 nonfiction books. I ended up reading 52 books total, but in my defense, some of them--like Les Miserables and Creature from Jekyll Island--were very long. Not my fault that people write crazy-long books.

However, that bad track record isn't going to keep me from making a list of my aspirations and goals for 2012. Because I do have some.

To raise all the money for, and go to, Romania. I feel as if God is going to do something great. Not only do I firmly believe that God revealed this trip to me before I even knew I was going on it, but my best friend and her World Race team also went on a prayer-walk around Bucharest. That country has been prayed for, prayed over, and prayed through. I firmly expect great things to happen. I don't know what great things, but they will happen.

To finish my novel, True. Started for NaNoWriMo, currently hating me for whatever reason. I will finish this novel if it kills me. I will conquer. And then have to edit it. Hey, nothing's perfect.

To blog at least once a week. I have been very remiss over the last several months in this respect. I apologize. I promise I will try to remedy this situation. There will be a blog post of some kind--whether a random musing, a deep idea, or just a "hey guys, I'm still alive,"--every week. Feel free to leave me angry comments if I fail.

I hope 2012 will shape up to be a great year for everyone. I know mine is looking like it will be amazing.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

I want to dream big dreams

2012-01-02T19:37:00.003-06:00

My very best friend in the whole wide world, Chelsea, came back to town this past weekend. For those who haven't been on my blog for very long, she's been gone for the past eleven months on an epic missions trip known as the World Race. Basically, she traveled to eleven different countries, including Thailand, Nepal, Moldova, South Africa, India, and Swaziland. I missed her very, very much, so getting to just sit and talk with her about all that's happened over the past year was amazing. Hopefully she'll be making another trip here before she leaves the country again so we can catch up even more. (There's also a prospective year-long trip the two of us might take to China sometime in the future. So we can really catch up.)

In any case--most of that is largely irrelevant, I just wanted to introduce you to the amazingness that is my best friend. Last evening, we drove together to church (well, she drove; I sat in the passenger seat and talked. Since both of us driving, or even just me driving, might have led to quite a bit of confusion), and we were talking a little about praying big and, as an extension of that, dreaming big.

While I was in China, the campers would attend lectures on different subjects. Teamwork, changing the world, that sort of thing. One of the lectures at Sunshine was about our dreams--the things we want to see happen, the things that would make our individual worlds perfect, the things that we would die happy after having seen. The speaker had us all write down our dream. Then he told us to look at our dream and ask ourselves how "big" it was.

Things like wanting to be a doctor, wanting to travel, wanting to get married, those are "little" dreams--so little, in fact, that they're hardly dreams at all. They're attainable goals, things we're looking forward to doing. A true dream is the absolute height that we can imagine. It is the deepest desire of our heart. A true dream is something so hugely audacious, so ridiculous, so fantastically absurd, that it seems as if it will never come true. A true dream is something that only a miracle can bring you.

My dream, if you'd like to know, is that there not be a child in the world without a home.

That there not be a home without adequate food and water.

That there not be a person who has to die because they didn't get a pill.

That there not be corruption.

That there not be wars that cause so much harm to ordinary people.

That is my dream. It is something so amazingly, ridiculously huge that only God could bring it about. And that, truly, is what a dream is. It's something that seems impossible--is impossible--without God. It is something that, even with God's help, we can barely imagine. It is something that seems almost absurd to us. It's the stuff, literally, of dreams.

We have a God who delights in making dreams come true. He's the one who took a poor shepherd boy and turned him into the greatest king ever known. He's the one who took a lowly fisherman and turned him into one of his most important apostles. He's the one who took a prostitute and made her an ancestor of his son. He's the one who took so many mess-ups, rejects, and disappointments and turned them into masterpieces. He's the author and finisher of our faith, a master painter who delights in blowing our minds.

He's the one who said "whatsoever ye ask, ye shall receive." That, to me, is a challenge. He's saying--"Yeah, you can pray for the health of your dog. You can pray for all sorts of small important things. Or you can pray something completely crazy, and watch me work."

Sometimes we have trouble with that "whatsoever". It's implied over and over that praying for crazy things just hurts us. Praying for things that we know won't happen will just hurt our faith. That, ultimately, they might even be selfish prayers and hence sinful. But I don't think so. I mean, sure, if you pray for a million dollars, not only will it hurt your image of God when you don't get it, but it's also very selfish. But that's not the sort of prayer I'm talking about.

I'm talking about praying for the presence of God to settle on a mosque.

I'm talking about praying for the healing of a family that's rejected God.

I'm talking about praying for the miracles that God can do to settle upon a nation.

I'm talking about praying for God to reveal himself to a tribe that's never heard.

Sometimes these prayers can be answered in the craziest ways, it's true. Sometimes God will answer those prayers by sending you to that mosque or those tribes or that nation. Sometimes God will completely blow your mind, and even make you a little afraid, with the way he'll answer things. But if he put you into it, he has a plan. He had a plan since before you voiced the prayer.

Don't be afraid to dream big dreams, and to pray big prayers that go along with them. Dream big, pray big, and do it with freedom, because you have a God that's bigger than any dream you could possibly imagine.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

The Hobbit and Christmas

2011-12-21T12:12:00.003-06:00

So for those of you who are not so hopelessly fangirlish as I, last night the trailer for The Hobbit came out. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're not as fangirlish as me. But still.

My Tumblr dashboard has been blowing up this morning with gifs of the trailer.

Am I upset?

Not at all.

In fact, I've quite enthusiastically jumped into the reposting craze because, after all, it's Tolkien. How can I not love it?

I never got to see Lord of the Rings in theaters. So getting to see The Hobbit in theaters will be epic. I absolutely cannot wait. Sadly, I must wait--for a year. (On the good side, I will get to see The Hunger Games, Brave, a new season of Sherlock, the beginning of a new series of Doctor Who, and The Avengers between now and then. Somehow, I shall survive.) I've also decided that I want to go to the midnight premiere, which of course means that I must make some effort to look pretty, right?

And what better way to do that than to dress up like an Elf? Hopefully I'll be able to purchase the needed clothing before next December.

But don't worry. My entire existence is not currently centered around Lord of the Rings. I don't think, anyway. There are bits of it that are not tied to the amazingness that is Middle Earth. Part of those bits involve Christmas! It is, of course, quickly approaching, and my siblings have really gotten into the giving spirit this year--which is perfectly alright, because I'm broke.

That's a very small picture of our "Christmas tree". And my sister's knees. And the presents surrounding our tree. The tree is made of cardboard, in case you were wondering. Yeah. Told you we were cheap.

Basically, there are 50 presents under that tree already, and our parents haven't done any shopping (and don't tell anybody, but I've not finished mine, either. Yeah, it's gonna be a long week).

So yes. That's what's going on in my life. Fangirling and Christmas preparations. Just a regular day in the life of me.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Finished!

2011-12-10T17:08:00.002-06:00

With the rewrite of Valiant.

Now I just have to edit.

Meh.

I ended up with nearly 67,000 words, over 10,000 words more than the original. 280 pages, formatted for CreateSpace.com, is how many it took to retell this story. I'm really happy about it.

And, if everything goes as planned, in July you should be able to buy it on Amazon!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

I order you to go read this blog

2011-12-04T21:45:00.003-06:00

Nothing in me wants to get a mediocre job
and work 9-5 and go home and crash because I'm exhausted.
I want to crash because I'm exhausted from fighting for the oppressed.
fighting for those who have no hope, no reason to exist.
fighting for those who are so fragile that they need my protection.
fighting for those who rarely receive positive human affection,
who are begging for my embrace.
fighting for those who are physically and spiritually starving.
fighting for those who would sleep at the dump if I didn't pull them under my roof.
I never thought I'd say this but I want to be a soccer mom.
Not the typical American one...
but the type that has so many kids that I can't remember who goes where when and
every morning packs unrighteous amounts of rice into lunch kits.
That has kids under her roof from all walks of life
all different experiences
but come together as one.
The idea makes my heart race because I finally have a passion that is outside of myself.
It pumps me up.
I know I must plan and prepare for this.. but:
but what am I supposed to do in the meantime?
There's only so many coffee shops I can take up residency at
and so many janky thrift shops I can buy out.
What good does that do me in the long run.

Seriously. Go to this blog and just read. She just got home from the World Race, and she will challenge you. (Give it up. is an incredibly fantastic read. Made me cry. Go read it naow.)

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Post-NaNo Thoughts

2011-12-03T16:24:00.002-06:00

Well, NaNoWrimo is finally over. Final word count was 74,000, a number that has increased to over 79,000 in the days since NaNo ended. I got a bit excited yesterday about my story. ^.^

I'm putting True on hold for a few weeks so I can wrap up Valiant. I'm currently building up to my big battle in that story, and since I'm going to be getting five free copies of a novel, I figure it might as well be Valiant. Who knows, maybe eventually, Valiant will be up for sale on Amazon!

Anyway. NaNoWriMo this year involved all the usual emotions: optimistic excitement, hope, absolute despair at my rubbish writing, second-guesses about my topic and plot (which isn't very original, it must be said), and then the frantic hurrying that always typifies NaNo. I didn't finish my novel, far from it; I'm pretty sure I have at least another 70k, and possibly even more after that because I'm not at all sure how I want to end--or when. Should be interesting. -.-

Next year, I'm going to be sure that I have a better plan. Or something.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

NaNo '11 ("True") Excerpt

2011-11-29T21:33:00.001-06:00

Another, more serious one this time. They're in a network of dungeons, trying to break out my main character's cousin.

They met their first prisoner a few dozen paces beyond the staircase. As the light of the lantern glanced along another set of bars, a scrap of shadow shifted, scrambling up. Knobby knees stuck out under the remains of what might have once been trousers, a dirty shirt hanging off the top of his body. A massive beard twisted on his cheeks, falling halfway down his tunic. A thin hand came up, shaking as it tried to ward the light from its owners eyes, but at the same time, the man tried to catch a glimpse of the light.

In the next cell, there was another unfortunate, and another in the next with a few more beyond, all crowded into one cell. A woman was in the next one, her face thin in the light of the lantern. She squinted against the light, just as her fellow prisoners had done. Jakov stopped dead, staring at her.

Her hair was dark and tangled, her face pointed and, perhaps pretty once, her skin perhaps once darker. She extended a hand through the bars, a hand that had known privation before the prison. She was Yahafin. Jakov took a step toward her, hand fumbling for the key, hoping to find it, hoping to let her free, but a heavy hand landed on the back of his coat and pulled him back around.

“Ya can’t go lettin’ ‘em all out, boy.” Till growled. “We’re on a mission, ain’t we?”

“Kojnebi,” the woman called out as loudly as she could. It came out as little more than a whisper between her cracked lips. Her hand trembled as it stretched towards him, begging, pleading with him. “Kojnebi.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he murmured back as Till put him back on the path and gave him a none-too-gentle shove forward. He glanced back once, just as the light fell away—she had sunk down to the ground, her dark eyes still looking after him, pleading.

Jakov’s body felt empty as he walked through the dungeon. People looked up at him from their cells. Some had torches burning on the walls opposite, evidence of the guards they’d not yet seen. Some seemed newer to the prison, not yet completely broken, with enough energy to scramble up and try to attract the newcomers’ attention. Most just lay on the floor, managing to lift their heads or open their eyes. Some could summon only a weary twitch of their fingers.

Some lay still and cold, the pallor of their skin and the unnatural stillness of their forms evidence that they would never rise again.

You can read more here, on Figment.com.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Official NaNo '11 Winner!

2011-11-25T17:38:00.003-06:00

Yes, I am an official winner of NaNoWriMo 2011! See, see? It's been a very...interesting ride, as always. But it's well worth it, of course, and I have...1/3...of a new novel to celebrate over!

True will be going on hold in a few days so I can finish Valiant. I'm looking to claim my CreateSpace winner goodie and using it to get another proof copy of my first-ever novel, which I'm rewriting at the moment. Then I'll probably launch back into True, get it finished up...

And maybe edit last year's NaNovel. Hey, hope springs eternal.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

A Day of Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T11:57:00.003-06:00

Therefore will I give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and sing praises unto thy name.
Psalm 18:49

So today is Thanksgiving for those of us in the US. As of this moment, we've gotten the turkey in the roasting, the yams are ready to go in the oven, the potatoes are baking with the pecan pies, the greenbean casserole is mixed up...and we've only had to make two Walmart runs. That just might be a record, but I can't remember. I usually block the whole cooking part of Thanksgiving out because it gets messy, real quick.

However, since it is Thanksgiving day, I thought I'd offer up my top ten list of things I'm most thankful for this year. And then state my declaration to remember to be thankful more often. Because that's always a good thing.

Unto thee, O God, do we give thanks, unto thee do we give thanks: for that thy name is near thy wondrous works declare.
Psalm 75:1

So here, in no particular order:

Books. This goes without saying. But it's true. And it deserves to be number one. Yes, yes it does.
Jesus. So maybe this should be number one. Oh well, it's over and done now. I'm thankful for Christ's sacrifice, what he did though I didn't deserve it, and could never deserve it. Also, I'm thankful for books that tell me about him. So see? Number one really was number two all along, you just didn't realize it until just now...
Movies. Now I'm just being shallow. Know what? I don't care.
Freedom. Freedom to do so many things. To complain. To leave. To write uncomplimentary things about the government no matter what other people think about it.
The ability to get up in the morning and not hurt. Except, sometimes, this one isn't really applicable. Like one morning last week.
Food. Very, very obvious, I know. Hey, I can't help what I'm most thankful for!
Family. Another very obvious one. Yes, sometimes they drive me completely nutty. But I still love them.
Crazy, absolutely bonkers friends. Like Cassie and Mirriam. Or any number of the friends who live nearer me. You're all amazingly insane, and I love it, and I love you. Never change.
Generous people. Generous people who are willing to send a silly teenage girl halfway around the world with their hard-earned money. You guys are awesome.
The internet. Because without it, I couldn't have met so many amazing people or learned so many wacky things.

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Thank all of you for being there, for reading my blog, and for just being yourselves.

In other news, at the moment, this is how I feel:

"Running on caffeine and a prayer, baby"

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Heart Sore...

2011-11-18T21:36:00.004-06:00

"At one of the Graveyards here in [my hometown], the officials in charge were asked by a group of Muslims, that they demanded a section just for Muslims. The officials told the Muzzies NO."

"Why don't they demand a free ride back to their country where they can get the respect they deserve."

"shudda told em for christains only"

"‎the christian graveyard would be decapitated heads and nothing else. We just need to NUKE THE SONSABITCHES."

My heart hurts right now. The above conversation was carried out by one of my friends on Facebook and several of his friends. They all claim to be Christian. And they make me weep for what Christ's Church has become. They make me weep for all it was meant to be. They make me weep, because this is not what it is supposed to be.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you, and persecute you...

The person who said that was killed. He was forcibly dragged from his private prayer meeting in a private garden, betrayed by a man he had spent every moment with for the past three years--training, teaching, loving. He was dragged to a place where the most important people in the religion that had worshiped his Father for so many centuries accused him, beat him, and called him the foulest names in the book. Then they sent him to the despised Romans, the people who had wrested control of his people's homeland from them, just to add a veneer of legality to the whole proceeding. He was beaten, his back torn open, his life's blood poured upon the ground. He was mocked and humiliated by the people he had come to save. And then they put him upon the most sophisticated, yet most brutal, torture device known to man, and let him hang there to die. Through his blood, we find remission. He came back to life for us, so we could find freedom. He's building a beautiful place for us, where there will be no more pain.

That is what someone did for us, someone so very important.

And yet, somehow, people still think that their words are okay. That somehow, they have no bad repercussions. That somehow, they're still being good ambassadors for Christ.

The annals of the past are filled with stories that seem quite frightening. Pioneer missionaries, first making inroads into Africa, bringing the light of the Gospel. Their stories are filled with dangers, fears of the unknown. Cannibals, plague, wild animals, tribes that worshiped strange spirits and listened to the every whim of medicine men. These missionaries could be killed at a moment's notice. And, very often, they were. They gave their lives for the one who meant everything, who had sacrificed so much and given his all for them--and they gave their lives for much the same reason. Yet it never made them stop, never made them wonder whether there was a different way. They died, and others filled their place.

Disease. Victory. Famine. Joy. Death. Life.

Where is the love that would do that? Where is the love that sent these people to those places to die? More than that...where's the love that sent the most important One of all to die? Where is the love that would say "not my will, but thine be done?" Where is that today? Where is the love that would say, "You know what, you're trying to kill me. You're in bondage, enslaved to this idea. Let me tell you about my Savior. You don't want to hear it--that's fine. There will be others, with the same sort of love, the same undying passion for you, a sinner who has murdered and lied and stolen. They will come to tell you of a man, who was so, so much more than a man, who died for you."

Where is the Christian love that will look at dead Christians overseas and see it as a reason to send yet more missionaries? Where is the Christian love that will spend hours every night on its knees for lost men who know no other way? Where is the Christian love that will cry out, from the depths of a bleeding heart and will say, "God, send me! These are your children, your precious creations, each one unique and beautiful and wonderful in your sight! Send me to change them through you, to make them new creations, to show them the beauty and wonder that can only be found in you!"

Where is the Christian love that will look up into the eyes of an executioner and say, "I forgive you." Where is the Christian love that will give up its own salvation for the sake of its lost and dying brethren?

Where is the simple, earth-shattering idea that there is something stronger than hate and lies, and that it is truth and love?

Where is the love and desire that turned the world upside down with a handful of poor, illiterate men and women?

Somehow, people think that because they're not like us, because their rhetoric is as hateful as ours, because they've insulted us, Christ's words don't matter anymore. Love can't possibly conquer that, they say. Roadside bombs and enemy armies and conspiracies--when have they ever stopped Christ's message?

Those same people would call me idealistic. We have to fight, because they're trying to kill us. Jesus never said anything about not defending yourself. I have my head in the clouds, because we need to fight back: they're a threat!

And we can turn the world upside down. Let's not return hate with hate. Let's not respond to the killing with more killing. Let's reach out to these people, Christians, run the risks, spread the Word. Let's do something a little foolish and utterly, wonderfully mad, like inviting a bunch of Muslims and Christians over to our house for a hamburger cookout. Let's find out why people are being radicalized and do something to stop it. Let's realize that our rhetoric only feeds theirs, and stop running our mouths.

Most of all, let us live like our Savior did. Let us be willing to die for him, as he was for us.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

NaNoWriMo, 50k, and Dallas

2011-11-11T08:52:00.004-06:00

Yes sir! My 50,000th word was 'that'. Quite anticlimactic, I know. But hey, it is what it is. Last night I hit 50,000 words on NaNoWriMo, an accomplishment that I am quite proud of. 10 days! That's how long it took me to write 50,000 words on a novel.

Unfortunately, I'm only about one quarter through the events that I had planned for this novel. That's less exciting, just because that means I probably have another 150,000 words before I can be done and get back to Valiant. Either that, or True is going to end up like Ravaged Time, and I'll be scrambling in September and October to finish it before NaNoWriMo.

Of course, I might not even be in the US come September 2012! Hopefully, as you know, I'll be heading to Zambia, Africa. As a sidenote, one of my good friends Chelsea (who is currently on the World Race and will be back in the US in approximately 9 days, and back to my house in the beginning of December), is considering coming with me! We'll probably make a quick, month-long detour by China if everything works out, so...yeah. I'll keep you posted! :D

In other news, my mom and I are going to be driving with some friends to Dallas, Texas today. There's a Students for Liberty conference we're going to be attending. We're gonna get free books. So yeah. That's pretty exciting.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

And...Go!

2011-11-03T09:10:00.003-05:00

So NaNoWriMo began on Tuesday. After writing over 7,000 words that day, I wrote only 4,000 yesterday, bringing me up to 11,000. But all is well in the world of NaNoWriMo, for I am projected to finish on November 10th-13th, provided I keep up this level of writing! It makes me happy, because I have three days where I have nothing scheduled but writing!

Now, just to display what my characters are getting up to this month, here's an excerpt of my third chapter, as Sonakali and Jakob prepare to leave Environ and head to the Valley of the Kali:

Sona didn’t speak to him again until they reached a small hut on the edge of the village. It, unlike most of the other houses they’d passed, was much like the little house Jakob had woken up in: small, drafty, barely holding itself together, and what was sticking together was mainly there through some complicated combination of wind angle and prayer.
Sona stepped up to the door and gave a little knock. It promptly flew open, to reveal a rather wild-haired older woman. She glared first at Sona, then at Jakob, then grunted. “You’re the Princeling and his Warden, I suppose? Yes, o’ course ye are. I’ve known Jakob Isriel since he was a boy.” She narrowly stared at Jakob for a second, then extended one bony hand and crooked a finger at him. “Come ‘ere boy.”
Glancing at Sona, a bit surprised, Jakob stepped forward to stand before the old woman. She glared up at him, then lightly slapped him on the face. “She tells me you don’t remember who you are, nor where you came from. How careless, boy, to leave your whole life behind you. Useful, I’ll grant ye that, but careless. Look at ye, standin’ there starin’ at me. You and your cousin used ta’ look at me jus’ thataway. Poor Jakov. I figure he’s dead then?”
“We’re not sure where Jakov Isriel is, madam,” Sona said, speaking up for Jakob. “But the Kali are working as hard as they can to find him.”
“They’d better be,” the old woman grunted, then stepped backwards into her hut. “Come inside here. I’ve got your packs, those ones you wanted me to get you. They’re safe. Like I told you. No one ever bothers to come down and see Aunt Yutil. She’s just an old woman, they say…”
Jakob stepped into the hut behind Sona. It was dark inside, except for the beam of light coming in through the door. There were no windows, and he couldn’t see anything but the dim glowing of ashes that were the only remains of a fire in the corner. He could hear Aunt Yutil rooting about somewhere inside the room. Did she need light to see, or was there some sort of magical, mystical process that she used?
Finally, she reappeared in the beam of light, holding two rather old, dirty canvas packs. She thrust one at each of them. “There’s enough provisions and water here to get you to the boundary. No farther. I’m trusting you, Warden, to get him there safely. Watch out for birds. Goodbye.”
She practically shoved them out the doorway, and the wooden plank that served her for a door slammed against its frame. Jakob heard something slam down behind it, along with the rasp of a metal latch.
“She is somewhat paranoid,” Sona explained, throwing the pack over her shoulders.

If you'd like to read more, I'm posting it on Figment as I write! Feel free to tell me here what you think or create an account over at Figment. We love new people, and we don't bite. ;)

Off to reach new heights of word count,

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Snow in October and NaNoWriMo

2011-10-31T14:13:00.002-05:00

Last week, it snowed here. Last Thursday, to be precise.

It was rather miserable, actually.

Because I was sick. And my bedroom has no insulation to speak of. And our heater smells. And it was cold. But anyway.

The snow was pretty, all four inches of it. It lasted until Friday morning, when it all went away, because our weather is mental and can't decide what it wants to do. Right now, it's about 65 degrees outside, which is actually quite nice, because fall has officially arrived. It's nice. Maybe now our trees will actually have time to decide it's time to change.

In other news, tomorrow will be the first day of November! As a consequence, I will most likely be posting either quite often or not at all (depending on my procrastination level), since NaNoWriMo begins!! I'm going to be attempting to knock out my 50k by the 10th of the month. We'll see how it works. It's only about 5,000 words a day, and if I can get in a good starting spurt on the days between Tuesday and Thursday, I should be able to knock it out!

I also have incentives this year, in the form of kitkats, york peppermint patties, 5 gum, and oreos. So yes. We'll see how well I can do!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Right on Time

2011-10-30T20:09:00.003-05:00

So. Sometimes, I find God's timing nothing short of...well, pretty hilarious, actually.

I mean that in a very, very good way.

Being the control freak and worrier that I am (anybody remember the absolutely frantic posts I wrote back in April? I do.) I've already begun to spazz about the roughly $5,000 I'm going to need for my planned summer activities.

My word, why do I do this to myself?

Basically, I'm going to be focusing on Romania fundraising. That's about $2,000. I'm hoping to be able to go to Zambia on $3,000. But, back in September, it seemed like a smart idea to tell God that I wasn't going to start fundraising for that trip--I wanted to focus on Romania, and if he wanted me to go to Zambia, I'd trust him to provide.

See, this is why I do things like this to myself. I think that I'm actually going to be able to exercise a little bit of trust. But I don't. Silly, silly me.

This is probably more of just a commentary on my character more than anything else. Of course I began stressing about it. I started thinking about all the reasons God might not want me to go to Zambia, then I started thinking about not going to Zambia, and then I thought that maybe not going to Zambia might be better. Then I thought about little African children and their singing and their playing, and that ended that.

Because you see, I love Africa. But I still don't know why I do this to myself.

And so the cycle begins again. Trusting, believing God will provide because, after all, I want to go to Zambia. But what if I want to go to Zambia, but God doesn't want me to go to Zambia? What will I tell the missionaries? What will I tell the people I've told about my potential trip? Will they feel let-down? Am I letting this trip become more about the people around me and my own desires than about God? Will that make God not want to let me go to Zambia? Will I not get to go to Zambia?

But I want to go to Zambia!

So here I sit, full of countless worries, and then the money issue plunks right back into my lap. Almost $4,000 before the first of the year? Please. You've told maybe half a dozen people you're planning to go to Zambia. And your blog readers. All four of them. Woopiee for you. You're not going to be able to go to Zambia. That's simply too much money, and God's obviously not going to just plunk it in your lap. Maybe you should start fundraising. Maybe you should just forget this whole thing you're doing. After all, this faith is passive. It doesn't do anything. It doesn't express itself in works. Sure, you're starting work for Romania, but that hardly counts.

And I think, for just a second, that maybe I should just give it up, forget the whole venture. Just be content with going to Romania.

And then my pastor preaches on the awe-inspiring faithfulness of God.

*"God is faithful..."

All the time, no matter our circumstances, no matter what we think he's doing, God is always, always faithful. He will never forget us, he will never forget our needs.

"That in every thing ye are enriched by him, in all utterance, and in all knowledge...So that ye come behind in no gift..."

As my pastor put it: 'we can have confidence in Him to accompany us as we serve and venture out for him and stretch in our serving Him.'

Ouch.

Okay, God.

Not quite what I expected.

But okay.

I think I'm ready to try out that whole trust thing again.

No, I've not gotten some big check. No, I still have absolutely no idea how God is going to provide for a $2,000 plane flight to Zambia, Africa before the first of the year. Not a single clue. I don't know by what means he's going to send that money. I haven't the foggiest. But one thing I do know.

He is always, always faithful. He always has been, He always will be.

And everything will work out for His glory. So here I am, trying yet again to set out on this journey of faith and make something of it other than a huge mess.

*Scriptures from 1 Corinthians 1:5, 7, 9

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Waiting for Winter

2011-10-17T16:50:00.004-05:00

I love the time of year where winter is just starting to approach. I can taste it in the air, so tantalizingly close, yet still so far away. It's just chilly enough to have to put on a sweater and yet I can feel snow, just waiting to fall, high above.

I love the beginnings of winter, just those barest tinglings that tell us it's coming. And even though yesterday it was 87 degrees (though today it's only in the 60s), I can already feel winter creeping up.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

NaNoWriMo Characters

2011-10-10T18:48:00.005-05:00

So I'm impatiently waiting for the new NaNoWriMo website to come online. If it hasn't already. I don't think it has, because nothing's been wiped yet. 'Tis sad. I want to see my new, shiny, un-purply ticker! Meanwhile, what is there to do but make Polyvore sets of my characters? And so, I present to you, the characters of "True", NaNo '11!!

Jakov Isriel, the amnesiac true king. He has to fight to get his throne back, which is quite a fun process, actually.

Sonakali is the Throne Warden, one of the few remaining in the bands of the Kali. She is a shape-shifter, a magical being that can take the form of a unicorn or a human at will. She mostly chooses to take the shape of a young woman, for various reasons.

Jadira al-Salidin is my heroine! She's a spunky Princess turned Gypsy, turned Princess, turned homeless vagrant. Quite an interesting girl, as you can tell. She is a Yahafin, a group of people something like Arabians. They live in the vast deserts of Kadrah.

This is Tomas Jolend, who is a "bad guy" in the beginning, but really isn't so bad once you get to know him. He's actually quite pleasant. And as you can see from this set, he and Jakov have a bit of a rivalry. Since it's rather small here, here's what it says:

(Tomas is first, Jakov second)

"Well, don't blame me. It's not my fault my forefathers stole from you'rs."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Jolend."

"Really, Isriel? Well, let me make it clearer for you. It was seven hundred years ago, and you're only jealous."

"Really? How so?"

"Oh, I don't know. Because your girlfriend likes me better than you?"

"That's prepestorous."

"Just man up and admit you've lost, Isriel."

"That...that...shut up. Just shut up. I'm your king, anyway."

"Whatever you say, my liege."

I don't know if I'm going to actually be able to utilize this conversation. But I hope I will. Because it is brilliant, if I do say so myself.

Whatever You Say, My Liege

So there you are! My NaNo characters--at least, the good ones. :))

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

NaNoWriMo...

2011-10-10T12:09:00.003-05:00

Is almost upon us! The brand new site launch is today...and no, I haven't been checking in every half-hour to see if it's happened yet.

Not even once an hour.

Okay, maybe once an hour.

Possibly a bit more than once an hour.

I'm not pathetic. Honest.

I've had my idea for this year's NaNo novel since...oh...January. December. Possibly November. But it was the tail-end of November.

Once again, I'm not pathetic. I do have a life. It just gets regularly eaten by things.

Like NaNoWriMo.

Anyway. This year, I'm going to be trying fantasy again! The plot centers around a stolen throne, an amnesiac heir to that throne, his cousin, shape-shifting unicorns, an Arabian gypsy, and an evil league of kings and queens who want to keep control of all Kadrah for themselves.

It's going to be pretty epic, and I can't wait to get started. I've written out a plan/outline/thing on my iPhone, which I really need to finish, and I have no less than three versions of a map, including one hanging on my wall that I've not yet finished drawing. Hey, I only hung it up around April. I do have a cover though! See?

The Phoenix on it actually has relevance--one of the legends of Kadrah is that a Phoenix is seen and heard only when a true king is crowned. It has a place in the story, and it's going to be pretty amazing to weave the threads of this story together.

I can't wait. Now if I can just shove the inner editor back into his box (he doesn't like to go very much), and can ignore the feeling that I'm a totally rubbish writer, this NaNo should be pretty awesome!

So. Who else is going to be doing NaNo? (I'd like usernames if you're willing to hand them out--I'd love to add you all. :)) )

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

And Summer 2012 Has Been Booked

2011-10-03T13:55:00.003-05:00

If everything shapes up the way I'm hoping, I'll be leaving home the 6th of June, 2012, and except for a few days here and there, will be gone until the end of September, 2012. Why? Because I'm insane like that. Let me break it down for you.

Summer 2012, Dream Plans:

June 6th - leave home for Christian Youth In Action training sessions
June 9th - return home, put clothes through the was and pack for Romania
June 12th - depart for Romania
June 26th - return from Romania, put clothes through the wash and pack again
July 1rst - depart for Zambia, Africa
September 30th (or thereabouts) - return home, in time to start planning for a 2013 trip, hopefully to China.

The trip to Africa is still up in the air: God is really going to have to supply for that, because right now, it looks like it'll probably cost at least $3,000 or so just for my plane ticket. (Romania will cost substantially less, probably in the vicinity of $2,000.)

So. Please be in prayer. I'm going to be focusing on Romania, and I hope to be funded before too long, that way I can focus on helping my little sister, Emma, who is also going to be going to Romania. So far, I have a few fundraisers planned that I'll probably be doing, so we'll see how it goes! But since I will be focusing on Romania, that leaves Africa. So, what I'm doing is just praying. God knows my need far better than I do, and if it's his will for me to go to Africa, then go to Africa I will.

We'll see what happens in the next few months! Please be in prayer. :))

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

I'm In Love...

2011-10-03T13:48:00.004-05:00

With a 900 year old alien who travels through time and space.

In a blue police box.

His name is the Doctor. And my mother says I'm obsessed. She's probably right. But I'm in good company. Mirriam (Thoughts of a Shieldmaiden) is just as obsessed. So it's okay.

Speaking of Mirriam, she drew a picture of the Doctor for my seventeenth birthday. It's so purty! I mean, lookitlookit:

Isn't he awesome?! Anyway. This has been a random interruption of our normal programming to inform you that I'm in love with an alien. This is the end of this public service announcement.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Confidence and Glory

2011-10-02T21:04:00.003-05:00

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence. But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:26-25-31

I find quite a bit of comfort in this passage. I'm not much at all. But through God, I am made wise and righteous...and it's only through him that I can be made so. I can have confidence--or, as this passage puts it, glory--in the fact that I am sanctified by the blood of Christ. I can worship him, glorify his name, with the knowledge that he has made me clean and called me to a great purpose...no matter how I looked before.

Not many wise after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called...

He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

A Deep Heart's Yearning...

2011-09-25T20:53:00.004-05:00

I found this graphic on Tumblr recently. And I'm sort of in love with it, even though it's awful and shows just how terrible the world actually is.

Sometimes, it's so easy to fall into a pattern of life, where nothing matters but my relatively easy, blissful existence. Then I go to Africa, where people don't have even 1/4 of the things I consider necessary for life--they're thankful for the bare bones, the food they get, the clothes they wear, the roof over their heads. And they're happy with it. My American mind can't wrap itself around that.

Or I go to someplace like China, where it's difficult to be a Christian. (Speaking of which, I got a new shirt for my birthday: it says "This shirt is illegal in 51 countries" on it. And I'm quite pleased with it.) And I realize just how fortunate I actually am. Today in church we had a missionary to Turkey who preached. He talked about how the people there are Muslim because they've never heard the Gospel. For real--literally none of them have ever heard the Gospel. They simply don't know that there's any other way to live life!

I mean, to think that I could have so easily been born somewhere else, where life could have been so radically different because of some random genetic accident...it's amazing. But here I am, having heard the Gospel, having chosen to accept Christ, having Him in my heart and my life, being free...and all for a purpose. I firmly believe that. And I also believe that my purpose has something to do with all those problems that are in that graphic up there.

This world has a caste system. That system is so firmly entrenched that it's virtually impossible to even jostle it. I don't know how to move it one fraction. I don't know if it's even really possible. But one thing I do know, and that is that two men turned the world upside down in Acts. They had an entire nation who knew exactly what they stood for because of one simple belief they held --that there was Someone who loved them, who died for them. Who loved me. Who died for me.

And in the end, the one thing that can cure any spiritual ailment, the one thing that can lift anyone up above what they were born into, is Jesus Christ. It's the Gospel. Simple as that. And that is my life calling.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Birthdays

2011-09-22T09:18:00.001-05:00

So as some of you may know, today is the birthday of two very special hobbits! I speak of Bilbo and Frodo Baggins, of course.

It's also the birthday of Cassie's little sister, Cora. So happy birthday Cora!

It's also my birthday. I'm officially 17, and so far, it's pretty awesome. My siblings are doing all my chores for me. Haha. So yeah. That's about it!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

If the World Were a Village of 100 People

2011-09-21T10:48:00.003-05:00

If we could reduce the world’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

The village would have 61 Asians, 13 Africans, 13 people from the Western Hemisphere (North & South America), 12 Europeans, and 1 from the South Pacific
51 would be male, 49 would be female
70 would be non-white; 30 white
67 would be non-Christian; 33 would be Christian

As to their ages:
30 would be 0-14 years old
63 would be 15-64 years old
7 would be 65 years old and older

20 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
18 would be without access to a safe water supply
39 would lack access to improved sanitation
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
7 people would have access to the Internet
1 would have a college education
1 would have HIV
2 would be near birth; 1 near death
6 would control 59% of the entire world’s wealth; all 6 would be US citizens

Sources: The Global Citizen, May 31, 1990, Donella H. Meadows (unless otherwise noted below), The CIA World Factbook<br>2001 (age, birth, death, internet), 2001 World Development Indicators, World Bank (HIV), Adherents 2001 (religion) Bread for the World (malnourishment), United Nations Population Fund (food security) The Global Supply and Sanitation<br>Assessment 2000 Report (improved water, improved sanitation.)

Found at Jaz's Mission Journal. As he said, it's a very sad view of the world around us, neatly boiled down to show us just how bad things actually are.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

A Month Ago Today....

2011-08-27T08:25:00.002-05:00

A month ago today, I climbed onto a plane that took off in LA and landed in Amarillo. I met a young man in the airport who had just gotten back from a missions trip in India, and who was delighted to find someone who was willing to just sit around and read their Bible. (Yes, that was me, and I was reading the epistles of Paul I believe. Love Paul.)

I also met a young woman and her mother on the plane. We talked non-stop about books and missions and the mom's airsickness. She was deathly afraid of planes during turbulence...which was bad, because we hit some pretty crazy turbulence above Las Vegas. Jazmyne and I were glad God had pulled out a roller coaster for us; her mom wasn't so amused. Jazmyne wanted to go to the Philippines on a missions trip next year, but her mom was a bit wary of letting her go so far away. I got to talk to them and encourage Jazmyne.

There are so many little things about China that tend to slip my mind. Like about the old men and women who wandered the university campus, looking for a few plastic bottles that they could take to be recycled in exchange for a few yuan. Or the Chinese girls who brought me a Bible. Or the way some Chinese people put 'yeah' at the end of every sentence, or how they'd stop in the middle of a sentence to stare into space, searching for a word. Or the camp director's habit of speaking in this ridiculous, excited, Billy Mays' style voice.

If you ever go on a trip like that, remember to keep a very good journal.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

The Trap of Modesty Standards

2011-08-09T10:06:00.007-05:00

Before I get started, let me just say that this might be a hard blog post. It's been hard for me to process all of it. I've had to counter the feeling that I'm being wrong or unspiritual. Which is, of course, sort of the point of this post. Let me just say that I am in no way attacking anyone or any organization/church. If you feel as if you're being attacked, I'm very sorry. But I feel that what this post is about needs to be said, because nobody else is saying it. What I talk about here is something I've observed not just around me, but also in my own life. I speak not from judgement, but from experience.

It has been my observation that standards of modesty hurt, rather than help, the issue of modesty in general. Now before you dismiss the rest of what I'm about to say, please stick with me on this, because I'm going to explain. By "standards of modesty", I mean specific rules that "have" to be followed in order to be "modest." For some churches, it is dresses-only. For others, girls are supposed to wear culottes in their off-hours. For some, modesty is whatever covers you above your knees. Basically, what I mean by standards of modesty is simply the rules that we're supposed to follow so guys won't notice how our bottoms look. This issue is dwelt upon in the church so often, hammered into extinction, then dredged back up to be preached upon again. In some cases, these standards are good, and help.

I am of the opinion, however, that overall, such standards are hurting the youth of the Christian church. I'll deal first with the girls, then with my theories about the guys.

For the Girls

I'm sure we've all felt it. I know I have - those little pricklings of self-righteousness, the ones that start way high up in your brain and work their way down into your heart. Or maybe it's the other way around. I'm not sure. But I know I've felt it. It's that insidious feeling, the one that makes me think poorly of other girls around me because of the way I'm acting.

"I read my Bible every day. Why doesn't she?"

"I make sure to treat everyone with respect. What is he doing, acting like that to her?"

And yes, "I dress modestly. Why can't she just put on some clothes? Doesn't she know she's causing guys to stumble?"

Yes indeed. It's that little worm that causes us to look down on those around us, and exalt ourselves. Not exactly the attitude of a servant. It's certainly not a spirit of love that motivates such thoughts.

Now, before we go any farther, let me make something very clear. I am not bashing modesty as a value. I myself make an effort to dress in a way I consider modest: my shirts are generally not sleeveless (I've made somewhat of a compromise this summer, because it's been 110 on average), and my capris come to my knees. My jeans are never too tight, and if they are, I wear a long shirt. The only thing I am bringing into question in this post is the standardization of such principles, making them hard-and-fast rules. Why am I bringing it into question?

Number one, because of the self-righteous attitude that comes into play, as explained above. I can attest from my own experience that, when I feel as if I'm adhering to some kind of "Godly, spiritual rule," no matter how ridiculous, I start getting a rather superior attitude. Instead of looking at the people around me as precious souls, I start analyzing their dress, seeing if they measure up to what I consider right. Not only have I felt this in my own life, but I've seen other girls, and even sometimes mature older women in the Lord, react in this manner. They bash on other girls and their dress, sometimes loudly enough for the girl they're discussing to hear.

Maybe this is a fault in our own hearts'. If that is the case, then perhaps this post should have a different title and motivation. Perhaps, for some of us, it is a completely different issue, one that should be dealt with in our own hearts. Perhaps it is a mixture of both.

However, I believe that since we dwell on this issue so much, it does become something of litmus test for True Christianity. "Well, look at that girl. How does she dress? Well, she can't really be spiritual. She wears pants, sometimes even to church!"

"Well, that girl wears shorts. So-and-so wears tank-tops. They need to get their hearts right with God. We'll pray for them."

And so it begins. Girls are weighed, not by their actions and their heart, but by their outward appearance. We try to change how they dress first, and then expect their hearts to follow, rather than attempting to change their hearts through the blood of Christ, and then expecting their behavior to change. Meanwhile, other girls - in the youth group, sitting next to them in church - are weighing their dress in the balance, seeing if they are worthy of Christian notice.

In turn, this makes girls who don't adhere to these standards feel like terrible people. They don't feel "Christian" enough, so they try to come up to the standards...and then they feel fake, like they're working too hard at something that should hardly be work at all. And in reality, that's true. Legalistic standards never help a church, they can only harm it. When we begin to weigh people's spirituality, their walk with God, their salvation, upon how they dress, we have degraded the message of the Gospel down to the level of New York's Fashion Week.

Now, I understand that there are certain rules that should be followed by God's people. But those things should be motivated, not out of a fear of social condemnation, or bogeyman tactics wherein our "relationship with God" will be irreparably harmed, but rather through a sincere love for and from Christ. So perhaps, instead of drumming into girls that they are bad Christians because they dress (or don't dress) a certain way, we should just teach the love that passes all understanding.

For the Guys

This section is bound to be shorter than the last one, for quite obvious reasons. I'm not a guy. In case you hadn't noticed. I've never been a guy, I don't intend to ever be a guy, and that's just fine. So you have been warned. This section might be way off. So for any guys reading this, feel free to correct me. I shall then feel stupid about my hypotheses, remove it from this post, and try to forget I ever posted it in the first place. But from what I've observed, this seems to be true. Also, this is how I'd act if I were a guy. Naturally, I'm not, but if I was, this is how it would go. "This" is, of course, what I'm about to talk about. Anyway.

I believe that modesty standards do not hurt just girls, but also guys. If you go to a church anything like mine, modesty is taught on quite frequently. It's touched on even more often, like a passing mantra. "Girls should be modest, etc. etc." This is usually followed by a brief explanation of what constitutes "modest." Not only are the girls now looking around, analyzing what their fellow females are wearing to see if it passes muster, but it's brought attention from the guys. Followup teaching (probably not more than five minutes later) will then reinforce that if girls don't dress properly (that is, within the standards of the church), the guys will inevitably "notice them" and stumble in their thoughts, falling into a hormone-riddled trap of desire and, eventually, lust.

Now the guys have gotten pulled into the cycle. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but guys like the female body. It's sort of how they're wired. We girls are wired to like the way a handsome guy looks, particularly if he's buff and tanned. (C'mon girls, don't play shy. You know it's true.) That's the way our hormones work. Usually, this is a good thing. After all, it sort of ensures the continuation of the human race. It is only when this attraction turns to something more serious, that we call lust, that it becomes a problem. I know that the propensity of some teenage girls is to dress in a way that is intentionally alluring, making it hard for a guy to resist mentally finishing the job she started, if you know what I mean.

But do we make the job of looking away harder when we have defined standards of modesty? I think we just might, and here's why. We turn the female body completely into a thing of shame. It becomes a terrible thing to even look at a girl and say, "You know, she looks pretty nice." (This can also be a thing with the girls, but I'll deal with that in another post.) Instead of being able to casually acknowledge the fact that so-and-so is well dressed, they have to stop themselves...and that will just make them think about it more.

I mean, come on. How many of us have been specifically instructed not to touch something of our mom's, or a treat for later or whatever? After that, all we can do is think about it. It consumes us...and then we feel bad for even thinking about it, because then we want it. And so, it is my theory that we turn the female body into a thing of shame for Christian guys. He's afraid to even move the wrong way around a girl in case he gives the wrong impression. He's afraid of even looking at her, for fear he'll see something that will be a stumbling block.

And perhaps, when he does look at her, all he can see is how immodestly she is dressed. Once again, it becomes a litmus test. How is she dressed? Is she being a good Christian? Is she modest?

Of course, I've also been told that guys don't notice what we're wearing, anyway. That's also true, from what I've observed. I don't think I'll ever understand teenage guys.

So whether I got any of this right or not, I feel I've explained my thoughts tolerably well. Or maybe not. Probably, I'll read through this in a few years and think, "how ineptly I explained that." That's usually what happens. But for now, this will have to do. Once again, please don't take offense to anything I've said. It's just my thoughts, and thankfully my thoughts don't make the rules.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty (紫涵)

Things China Taught Me

2011-08-01T13:33:00.004-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

It is, in fact, possible to pick up one grain of rice with chopsticks.
If you're in China and you have white skin and a hair color besides black, you're practically a celebrity.
This goes double if you're a white-skinned baby.
When you see a western toilet for the first time in a month, a squeal is most definitely appropriate.
Chinese people do not believe in elevators if the building is less than six floors tall. This is probably why most Chinese buildings are not more than six floors tall.
Eating with your face two inches from your bowl isn't rude; it's the most efficient way to get food from your plate to your mouth when you're using chopsticks.
There is a world of difference between American Chinese food and Chinese Chinese food.
16 hour plane flights can either be places of memory building or places of blessed sleep. Since the memories will mostly be of trying to go to sleep, it's best to find the "blessed" stage as fast as you can.
When you go out on the roads as a pedestrian, expect to have to make a run for it...and still almost get run over.
When you go out on the roads as a driver, expect to not be allowed to follow traffic laws.
Learn to love tofu.
Mattress? What is this strange thing of which you speak?
Umbrellas are not just for when it's raining. The variety of uses you can put a good umbrella to are never-ending.
The Chinese also, apparently, don't believe in dryers.
It is wise to bring plenty of tissue with you. Even then, over the course of a month, you'll probably end up buying some. But no worries. It's very popular in China.
If it looks like chicken, it probably isn't. If it's brown with some crumbly stuff on it...yeah, that's probably chicken.

There are more things I could put here, but I won't bore you. Just some of the stuff I learned on my trip.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

China Pictures, part 1

2011-07-30T00:59:00.005-05:00

Here are some pictures! I'm starting with the second camp, because most of my pictures from the first are on my phone, and I haven't yet gotten them switched over. So here, for your enjoyment, are pictures!

A little pagoda thing at NPU.

Allison, one of my teammates. She was quite thrilled at the prospect of free toilet paper.

Some of my teammates. We were taking a walk!

Alice and I. Alice was another member of the logistics team. She's wholly dedicated to God. It's beautiful. I love her. :D

My roommate, Carissa, owned a guitar, and thankfully had the foresight to bring it with her. Since we were living in the same room together the whole month, we were able to have some pretty epic worship sessions!

Our life group at the second camp. Or part of it, at least.

There's the whole life group! Summer is hiding in the corner behind Hu, but otherwise it's all of us. :D

Mickey, Helen, and Aileen.

Catherine. She was one of my co-coaches at the first camp.

Angela, one of our roommates, and I. We were a testimony to her. Still praying.

Mickey, my coach at the second camp. She was...crazy. But I love her anyway. :D

Gracie and I. She was a sweet girl, a member of the logistics staff for the camps.

Xi'an's ancient city wall, built I think in the Ming dynasty. I took notes. Which will be used in future stories.

Stairs down from the top.

My roomie, Carissa, in the airport McDonald's eating ice cream.

Papa Johns in China! It's a sit-down restaurant over there. After that, we went to Dairy Queen which was just next door, but sadly I didn't get a picture of that. I did eat an incredible cranberry cheesecake blizzard, however.

爱於耶穌,

~Liberty

Teachings

2011-07-29T08:53:00.005-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

There's a few questions people always ask when you go on a big trip. Number one is "How was it?" Number two is, "Did you enjoy it?" Number three, at least for this trip, has been, "Did you learn anything new?"

I kind of dislike questions like this. They're annoyingly vague. I also never quite know how to answer. To the first, I usually give an awkward, "Um...it was good? Awesome. Amazing. Pretty cool." Inwardly, I'm thinking: what exactly do you want me to say? It was a country. With people. To the second, it's usually an emphatic yes. The third is usually also a yes, and that is what this post is about. Part of what I learned in China.

China, like Africa, taught me how lucky I am. Africa taught me how lucky I have been in the realm of material possessions. I have so much; the people there have so little. But China taught me how lucky I am to have the freedom to worship that I do. While at the second camp, one of my roommates was a Christian girl. She was involved in the underground church, and one day she shared with us the things they have to go through just to meet. She was amazed at how we could just go anytime we want to. Talking with her, you could hear the wistfulness in her voice as she contemplated what it must be like to not have to be afraid, to not have to sneak around and risk being persecuted by your own government.

Then there was one of the girls in my life group, who had never before heard the gospel. That is amazing to me. Here in America, we take that so for granted. Everybody, surely, has heard at least once, and if they haven't, they've had a chance to. In China, it's not like that. There is so much room in China, so many people, and comparatively so few people working for the Gospel, that people may be born, live, and die without ever hearing. I'm sure it's like that here in America, too, which is challenging. But it was really brought home to me in China.

I have it so, so lucky. Day after tomorrow, I'm going to pull up to my church building, climb out, and go to Sunday School. I'll sing at the top of my lungs during worship service, and not have to be afraid. I'll listen to preaching, straight from the Bible, and not have to worry about who might hear. Then I'll go home, and it might be that I'll have not even listened to the message. My mind could have been miles away because, after all, it's just church. I'll get to go next week, and the week after that. And next week, if our air conditioner is out, it's too hot. We'll just skip church. We can't be uncomfortable, you know.

The Chinese Christians I met taught me something very important. There is nothing more important than the Gospel. You can't hide it. You can't make it go away. There is no either-or in living it out. Either you are passionately committed to its message, or you have almost no part in it.

But the non-Christian Chinese also taught me something, a far more sobering lesson. One day, I was talking about the fringes of a religious topic with one of the girls in my small group. I was getting a bit excited, because I love this girl and I really wanted to get a chance to talk to her about it. But then she couldn't think of how to say what she wanted to, and appealed to one of the guys in our group, asking him to explain what the Chinese people now mostly regard as a god. (And, of course, there went the conversation.)

This guy turned to me and calmly proceeded to explain that the Chinese people, if they are patriotic and good citizens, basically regard their government as their god. Their whole concern is to serve their country and advance it. I sat there, listening to this, trying not to show my shock. I had known this was what was believed. I had read about it. I knew that China was infected with nationalistic atheism, that their leaders were practically prophets. But to hear it so calmly explained from one I considered a dear friend was hard to stomach. I now have a face to go with that belief. And that's tough.

Those statistics about how many have heard in China, how many have believed, are no longer just numbers. Now they have faces. They have names. Joy, Summer, Brian, Allan. They are people who I spent part of my life with. Who I love. It's hard to stay at home when you have faces looking at you instead of numbers. Numbers are convicting, friends are compelling.

In other words, I can't wait to go back to China. In fact, I can't wait to go overseas again, period. That's truly where my heart is. In the meanwhile: Good News Clubs start up again in a few weeks, and there will be opportunities for me to help with other outreaches locally. "Preach the Gospel to every creature" is truly an amazing command, because it never leaves with you with nothing to do.

In other news, announcing next summer's plans: I'll be going to Romania, hopefully. I'm also praying about going back to Zambia, Africa, but I've decided I'm waiting on God for that one. If He wants me to go, He'll show me. For now, I'm trusting and resting in Him...which will probably be the topic of my next post, because there's not enough space to deal with it here. :D

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Home Again, Home Again

2011-07-28T11:17:00.000-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

My trip to China was far too short. However, many good things came out of it. And happened on it. And I wanted to go home, and now I am home, and now I want to be back in China because it was epic. This post is liable to be rather scattered, owing to the fact that my thoughts are still incredibly scattered. Final impressions haven't really sunk in yet, so this is liable to be a post of simple reporting.

My team - comprised of 24 people from age 2 (our PD's daughter) to Jessica, our actual PD - left from LA on July 2, took a 17-hour plane ride, and disembarked in Guangzhou, China on July 4. The international date line is pretty silly, if you ask me. It does things to your brain. From there, we got a plane to Xi'an, which was where our global partner met us. I'm not allowed to give much information about said partner, owing to the security of their position in China, but they do summer camps. For Chinese people.

The first camp was for high school students, most of whom were about my age. We had awesome fun. I was the assistant coach for a life group of 11 students, all of whom became very good friends. It's amazing how you can make friends even when you can hardly speak to the people who are with you. The kids at this camp had taken very little English, just what was offered in their rural high schools, so it was difficult to communicate. But it is true that body language accounts for a whole lot of communication. Because, somehow, our life group still ended up with inside jokes that included myself and Drew, another of the GE people.

After that camp ended, we traveled a bit and ended up at a university campus, where we held Sunshine Camp. At this camp, most of us were only participants, which was interesting since they were all college students and studying crazy stuff like mechanical engineering and medicine. Kind of made me feel dumb. Anyway.

Sunshine was pretty much amazing. I formed so many awesome relationships with people there. Some of them I've already started emailing, because I miss them bunches, and obviously we've been apart sooo long. A whole five days. We might die.

We left Sunshine on the 23rd, and had a fun day in Xi'an the 24th. We went to see the terracotta warriors, which was pretty epic. I love history, and the warriors are definitely history. After we left the university at 4am on the morning of the 25th, we flew to Guangzhou and had a shopping trip. I bought the most beautiful dress, which I shall have to get a picture of myself wearing. :D

On the 26th, we departed at 9pm for Los Angeles, and arrived in LA on the 26th at 7pm. Don't ask how that's possible. All I know is that I was forced to relive two hours of my life. :P Not really. But it was pretty awesome, feeling like we'd traveled in time. Am I nerd? Oh yes. Do I love it? You bet.

So this post is far from insightful. Over the next few days, I'll post more of my deep thoughts about what I encountered on the trip. For now, be content with this. Maybe. Pictures will come shortly.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Pre-Trip Thoughts

2011-06-25T13:28:00.002-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I have three days until I leave my hometown and head for Los Angeles. At 1:00 on Tuesday, I will climb into a plane and not see my hometown and my family for a month. Kind of scary to think about, really.

My mom refuses to talk about it. She's not as thrilled as I am, obviously. I think she's afraid something terrible will happen to me. Or something. Last year, when I went to Zambia, I was with people we knew, people from our church. This time, I'm basically giving my life over into the hands of complete strangers who I don't know from Adam. Apparently, that scares my mom. I guess I can see why... :P

But I get to visit Cassie of Inside My Mind! We've been penpals for quite awhile now, have talked on the phone a few times, and I'm pretty certain we're both pumped about getting to see each other. I think I already mentioned this. Oh well. It's going to be epic. The epitome of awesomeness. (Also, for even more epic fun, we're going to have a call with Mirriam at Thoughts of a Shieldmaiden!! Yes. Be afraid. All three of us, all together, even if just over the phone = world domination. Bwahahaha...))

We have an awesome few days (kind of) planned out, and I can't wait! After that, I'll be heading to LAX once again, this time to meet up with the rest of my team. In six days, I'll be heading out for China! I'm fully funded, I'm ready to go, and...well, it's been an absolutely crazy, but also immensely amazing, journey to get here.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is - Congrats! In just three days, you won't have to listen to me spaz out about money problems, China stuff, or anything else!

Until I get back. And then I'll flood your dashboards with posts about the amazingness that is China. You have been forewarned.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

A Wonderful Nine Days

2011-06-17T20:59:00.005-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

^Two of the most epic songs ever. Particularly the first one. Just so you know. Though the second one is beautiful, too. What makes these songs so important, you ask? Well, they were two worship songs that were sung at CYIA 2011 in my area!! Yup. Pretty awesome. CYIA started on the 8th, and I just got home a few hours ago. The time practically flew by. Okay, it literally flew by.

Okay, so cool stories behind these photos. The top one is myself with two of three Chinese students who came to CYIA this year! I couldn't nab Jacob, or I would have gotten one with him, too. He and Joan (the one on the right in the top pic) are getting married! Yes, all three of them were native Chinese, which is crazily coincidental. Sort of. It's really because my God is just that awesome.

Anyway. Linda and I (the Chinese girl I'm with in the bottom pic) were teammates for the 5-Day Club we did, which was pretty epic. She helped me with some Chinese, and made me feel really special and smart. :D So, let me tell you about our club!

On Monday we showed up and it was pretty obvious that most of them did not want to be there. Basically, the daycare we were at was forcing them to attend. They came in with their minds up - our program was going to be stupid and they weren't going to enjoy it. Needless to say, the first day was pretty bad. One boy in particular - his name was Ethan - was really bad, and dragged a couple of the other boys along with him in his misbehavior. By the end of club, I was at the end of my rope and ready to...well, slap a couple children. Thankfully, my teammate is more level-headed than I, and managed to get me calmed down.

The next day, there was quite an improvement, maybe because they expected us. We revised a couple of the things we had done wrong the day before and made it better. They enjoyed themselves, and asked if we were coming back the next day. Ethan, however, still stubbornly refused to be impressed. The third day I taught the Bible lesson and a girl came back for counseling. Well, two girls. The first one had a very sad home life and I was practically crying as she told me what she wanted me to pray for. I prayed with her, and then the other little girl came back.

She wanted me to tell her how to believe in Jesus. Now, mind you, this girl had been asking me all throughout club if it was time for the missionary story. She really, really wanted to hear this missions story. So she deliberately left missions time - and, in consequence, hearing the missions story for that day - to come talk to me about this. I took her through the wordless book and the Bible verses, telling her how Jesus Christ came to forgive her of her sins, and how she could receive this wonderful, unbelievable gift. At the end, she prayed to receive Jesus Christ. Before this week, I had never taken a kid all the way through to the end of the wordless book, mostly because most of those I'd done it with hadn't been ready. Christabelle was different, and she received Jesus Christ!

The next day, my teammate Linda did the Bible lesson, and Ethan (who behaved rather badly this day, too, until after this episode), went back for counseling, dragging another of the little boys along with him while I taught the missionary story. He also prayed that day, and we saw quite an improvement in his behavior. The next day, which was sadly our last (and was also today...it feels like ages ago), he was quiet. He didn't complain when I chose somebody else to come up and help me. He played nicely. And he didn't act as if being there was a great burden. He lingered behind to talk to us, and gave Linda a hug, I believe.

Jesus works miracles.

So yes. In between all that there was much studying and some drama and lots and lots of classroom time where we were told many things at a fast rate. But CYIA is amazing. And I hope I'll get to go back next year, even if it's only for a little bit. :D

On another note, in 11 days I depart for LA (to visit Cassie!!!) and then two days after that, I leave for China!! Am I excited? Oh yes. :D

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Departing!

2011-06-08T10:19:00.002-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Not for China...yet! (Speaking of which, I only need $262!!! It makes me very happy. :)) ) This evening, I'll be heading to a campground outside of town for Christian Youth In Action (CYIA), the most awesome training camp for teenagers evah. For nine days, I'll get to sit around with a bunch of insane people and learn how to tell kiddos about Jesus!

So yes, this is just a notice that I will be leaving. I'll be back with pictures and (hopefully) a post come the 18th or so, and then eleven days afterwards I'll be leaving for LA and eventually, China!!! :)))

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Jesus Loves Me. And Tells Me Things

2011-06-06T08:14:00.004-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Heh, you like the title? I'm rather fond of it. It has very little relation to this post, but hopefully at one point, it'll actually make sense. This post is basically going to be one of those rambling ones that just talk about my life (which you don't really care about), and contains almost zero actual content (that you do care about). But bear with me. I promise I'll have something more interesting up soon. Even if it's in two months, when I tell you about the awesomeness that was my China trip.

Anywho. What's been going on in my life lately?

I got a $1,000 donation for my China trip, which made me very happy...I also got another $50 check this week, which means I'm that much closer to my goal. I just have to wait for grandparents and the like to decide if they're actually going to give me funds, and then I'll be able to send in the remainder of what I have. (I don't particularly want to end up with a surplus in my GE missionary account, in case you were wondering. And why?)

Next year my youth group is taking a trip to Romania for missions! Yeah, pretty epic.

And the weird part? For the past...oh, three months, I've wanted to go to Romania.

Seriously. I'm not joking. Ask my mom. I mentioned it to her maybe a month and a half ago. I had no idea why, but we discussed maybe getting in touch with some missionaries we know in Romania and trying to work something out where I could go stay with them for a few weeks. And here, my youth group is taking a trip to Romania! Yes, Jesus tells me things. I don't know why. But I think it was Jesus. :P

In other news, our bathroom is getting closer to completion! It now looks like a boarded-in train wreck, and not just an ordinary train wreck.

There is currently no toilet, which is just a tad annoying, but we'll hopefully have some tile up and a toilet in by tomorrow. Hopefully. In the meantime, we're going to spend as much time elsewhere in town (where there is a toilet) as possible.

But anywho. You didn't really want to know that. Please pray for us. And for my dad. That he'll be able to get it done. XD

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Jehovah-jireh

2011-06-02T20:56:00.001-05:00

Jehovah-jireh (יְהוָה יִרְאֶה) is a name that occurs in Genesis 22. It is, in fact, the name of the place where Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac in accordance with God's command...before God, of course, supplied a ram, giving a type of Christ. But anywho. I'm not talking about Abraham today. I just like the words Jehovah-jireh, not least because they sound supermegaawesome.

You see, Jehovah-jireh means "The Lord Will Provide", or something loosely along those lines. That's what the center reference dealie in my Bible says it means, so we'll go with that.

You will probably remember that, just yesterday, I was moaning and groaning about how much money I still have to raise. I ended that post proclaiming that $1100 was nothing to my God, and that I would, in keeping with a very beautiful song, "bow the knee" and give it to the Lord.

Did that.

I log on tonight to see my GE missionary account, in the rather melancholy way I've been doing it recently - log in, sighing, since I'm pretty sure it's not going to have been increased by much, and then quickly click off once I check the day countdown and my current balance. As I've mentioned, that hadn't changed much in the past week.

So, imagine my surprise - nay, my shock! - when I logged on this evening to discover that, wonder of wonders, I only lacked $413 in my missionary account.

I think it took me a minute to comprehend this change. At least, I'm pretty sure I sat there for a solid ten seconds before the praise music started in my head (only in my head, though. I didn't want to scare my dad. He's a bit jumpy). Turns out that somebody I don't even really know - he friended me on Facebook to partake in a political debate. Long story - had given me $1,000.

Yeah, you read that right.

$1,000.

So basically, I only lack roughly $113 total, if I were to put that $300 in my bank account in my actual missionary account.

Is my God awesome?

You bet.

29 days. $1100. Oh yeah. My God totally has this.

In other news, please pray for me. You see, I am without a bathroom. My mom carted the kids off to Oklahoma City for a weekend, and I stayed behind to help with CYIA preparations (today), and also to keep my dad company. I thought they'd be coming back tomorrow. I have just been informed that, since the toilet is in pretty bad shape, and won't be in 'til tomorrow or Saturday, and the tile won't be in 'till Sunday, they're staying away 'till Sunday. I mean, not that I mind the quiet. The quiet's awesome. It's just that the quiet can also be creepy, and I don't have a toilet.

So yes. My God's great, even though my bathroom's broken. Peace.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

God, You Know What You're Doing, But...

2011-06-01T21:00:00.004-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

That's pretty much what I've been saying for the past week. This probably, once again, demonstrates an incredible lack of faith on my part. I'm sorry, God. It's just...yeah.

After a week of only getting $100 in direct trip donations, and having two prospective fundraisers fall through, I've kind of gotten discouraged. I sit here wondering what God's doing, what he's trying to prove to me. I'm not quite sure what I should think. It almost seems like he's done a complete 180 on provision.

In the beginning, things seemed to be going quite well. Donations rolled in nearly every week, including one $1,000 donation that made me quite deliriously happy, to the point of dancing through the house and nearly killing a cat. I held a bake sale which made $300 more than what everyone said I would make ($200), effectively proving that you shouldn't tell God what he can do.

But now...I don't know. I suppose I'm just disappointed that miracles don't happen on my schedule. And this is my ranting, whiny blog post to tell you about it.

Of course, then there was tonight, when I was practicing with our church's choir. We're going to be singing "Bow the Knee" in a couple weeks (and amidst my summer activities, I'll probably miss singing it, which makes me sad). This is the first verse and chorus of that phenomenal song:

There are moments on our journey following the Lord
Where God illumines ev’ry step we take.
There are times when circumstances make perfect sense to us,
As we try to understand each move He makes.
When the path grows dim and our questions have no answers, turn to Him.

Bow the knee;
Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see.
Bow the knee;
Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.
And when you don’t understand the purpose of His plan,
In the presence of the King, bow the knee.

And I suppose that's my answer from God. That no matter what, he's got it under control. So I need to just pray and trust him, wait for him to work some miracle in the next 29 days wherein I'm not going to have time to do another proper fundraiser. To trust him to do something nearly every human on the planet would say is impossible.

Because my God is, in many ways, an impossible God. And I love him for it.

29 days. $1100. Oh yeah, my God's got this.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Wherever, Whatever

2011-05-30T20:14:00.007-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I think sometimes, we dramatize what we see as "the big things." I'm going to China. That's a "big thing." Some people dedicate their lives to overseas missions - they go and live and die overseas, in the pursuit of bringing a precious few to Christ. There are those who preach in front of thousands of people every week. There are people who give thousands of dollars in offerings every week. There are people who raise perfect children who go on to become missionaries and pastors and song-leaders.

But sometimes, I think, when we look only at the "big things" we forget how important the "small things" are. Being cheerful at home. Being kind. Content. Happy. No matter what our circumstances are, being able to respond with joy.

I struggle with those little things. I have problems with my temper. My little sister and I can't seem to live together (she seems to think typing is annoying, but I shan't get into our many arguments at the moment). My dad sometimes gets on my nerves (okay, a lot). [And here I am, confessing my life problems to you all. Just so you know, this proves that bloggers' lives are rarely - never, in fact - perfect. Far from it.]
We forget - I forget - that wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, however things are going, no matter what's coming up, I should be content right now. I should go everywhere with all my heart, with every God-imbued passion I have. Because if I can't, what am I doing going there?

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

35 Days

2011-05-26T13:10:00.001-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

The countdown has officially begun in earnest. In two weeks (13 days) I'll be going to Christian Youth In Action, a training program for teenagers that Child Evangelism Fellowship puts on every summer. Basically, I'll spend nine days with about forty of the craziest, yet most awesome people on the face of the planet.

The next week will most likely be dedicated to local ministry, then the weekend to packing and (trying) to relax before I head to LA, where I will be spending three days(ish) with Cassandra Noelle, my penpal and friend of two years.

On July 1rst, in exactly 35 days, I'll be heading to China for a month of loving on Chinese orphans, practicing English with students, and meeting Carissa, one of my teammates, who I've been talking to since December about the trip. We're totally pumped, and I can't wait.

God will provide, because he's awesome. And then he will bless our ministry in China. I am fully confident that great things will happen through us and for us as we go to China.

As for me, I can't wait. 35 days seems like a really long time. But I'm pretty sure it's going to be far too short a time. But that's okay.

(The above post was c/p'd from Polyvore, because I'm just that lazy. I just wanted to show off my set. And tell you all about that. 35 days!!!!)

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Imagination

2011-05-24T11:40:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Imagine by Liberty94 featuring pink dresses

The man who has no imagination has no wings.
Muhammad Ali

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Why I'm (Probably Not) Going to College

2011-05-18T11:12:00.004-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

As a sophomore in high school, I get this question a lot (and I know it's only going to get worse as I go into Junior-land): "Where are you planning to go to college?" Here is a typical conversation about that subject:

"So where are you planning on going to college?"
"At this point, I don't think I'm going to go to college at all."
*horrified look* "What? But how will you get a job? I mean, you'd be so good in college, you're so smart!"
*with a rather awkward/nervous laugh* "Yeah, well. I just don't think it's necessary. I'd prefer to spend my time and money doing something more productive."
"But you should really go to college. You're college material."
"We'll see what happens."
"No, really, you should go."
"..."

Yeah. That's the typical exchange. Usually, the farther we get into the subject, the more horrified the poor person becomes as they realize that my kooky idea that I don't need to go to college is actually sincere. So, to explain to all the well-meaning people out there who believe I can't be anything without a college degree, let me explain this to you. That is, my reasons for not going to college.

Just as a disclaimer, let me say that I might, sometime in the future, decide to go to college. I might take some classes at a Bible college for the purposes of my own insatiable curiosity. I might wake up one morning and decide that I want to go to my local community college and learn how to be a businesswoman. I don't know. We'll see what God does. But as of this moment in time, at the age of 16 (almost 17), I don't think I need to go to college.

Pet peeve moment: I really hate the idea that I won't be able to get a good job without going to college.

I mean, if I'm smart enough to go to college, then why am I not smart enough to find something to do with my life without a piece of paper that certifies that I spent four years of my life, $30,000+, and a bunch of brainpower learning a bunch of stuff that I had already learnt anyway, with a year and a half of stuff I might not have known.

That was an incredible run-on sentence. But anyway. I especially dislike that mentality amongst Christians. We've become so infected by this idea that we can't do anything for God without a college degree, an idea that came from (surprise, surprise) the secular world. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that if God can use a completely ignorant African village man to spread the Gospel, he can use me. After all, I've grown up in church, have two parents who are extremely knowledgeable about the Bible, and thousands of bookstores and libraries and online resources to teach me things.

Aside from that little peeve, there's the issue of cost. Have you looked at tuition costs at colleges lately? They're crazy expensive. Even your lower-end 'cheap' colleges have steep prices. And when you consider that the average debt level of graduating college students is somewhere about $30,000...yeah, I just really don't want that hanging over my head for the rest of my life, even if it is for Jesus. (Although, there is an interesting paradox displayed there: we need to go into debt to go learn something for Jesus, but then again, the Bible says some pretty bad things about debt...oh yes...)

Add to that the cost of four years, the best years of my life. The years between 19 and 25 are some of the most active years, when a person is at their physical prime. Before that, things are building up, and after that, the...decay sets in, if that's what we want to call it. So I could spend those four years going and doing, rather than sitting down in a classroom, spending a ton of money for something I could get for a few dollars in late fees at a public library. I could intern with a missionary or two and get years of experience put at my disposal, and for far cheaper.

So that, in a nutshell, is why I'm not planning to go to college. This may change sometime in the future, and then I'll end up spending a bunch of money and time. We'll see.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Showing off the New Camera

2011-05-16T09:51:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

This is my new camera, beautifully displayed in my mom's mirror. Yeah...and me, awkwardly hunched over to get the picture...it's a pretty camera, even though you can't really see it. It's a Samsung, with a 14.1 megapixel image, and 5x zoom. Yup. Pretty nice.

My Bible, with a heart made out of the pages.

Homemaker, before she got dressed. She's going to CYIA with me!

My current book-list! I'm reading The Memory of Earth by Orson Scott Card (the second Card book I've read...yeah. Haven't started it yet), Kenilworth by Sir Walter Scott, Princess Academy by Shannon Hale, The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke, Redwall by Brian Jacques, Our Man in Tehran by Robert Wright, and King, Kaiser, Tsar by Catrine Clay.

But yeah. This sounds slightly obsessive, or so my mom tells me. I think it just sounds mildly excited about the fact that I have a camera, that CYIA is coming in only 23 days, and that I'll be departing for China in just 45 days! I also got another donation yesterday, for $120, which reminds me that I need to write thank you cards. I'm pretty excited. :D

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Garage Sale, Week 1

2011-05-14T14:41:00.005-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Alas, there are no pictures. I know. I'm a bad person. In my defense, I have no camera. But there shall be pictures next week, because I shall hopefully have a camera by then!

Why, you ask?

Because I made $271 in the sale this week, and at least half of that is budgeted for my packing list. Half, I think. At least $70 of it. And this week, "packing list" equates to "camera." I'm pretty excited to get a nice camera. One thing I know: this camera will stay far away from little children.

Anyway. I got up early this morning and got stuff set out, then sold the aforementioned $271 worth of goods. After all was said and done, that still left me with about half the items that had been donated to me! So, this is only week one of the garage sale...I'll be going out again next Saturday, and will hopefully be getting another $200. We'll see. Another almost-$300 would be wonderful, because then that'd be nearly $600 that I've made off this sale! We'll see what God does!

I'm also going to be trying to get some Sonic saver card things to sell at my church. Apparently, they'll give them to anyone, and then if you sell them, you get 100% profit off of it, which is pretty awesome. I won't have to pay a commission or anything; just sell them and be done with it. I'm also looking into doing like a benefit night at one of our local restaurants. If you sign up and everything, whoever comes and mentions your name will donate like...15%, I think it is, of their purchase to your cause. Which is, of course, pretty awesome.

So...we'll see! I still have 45 days left, which is...rather scary, because my time is ebbing away quickly, and there's only some 23 days left before summer craziness officially starts with CYIA, but I'm also ridiculously excited. Because this is going to be an amazing summer.

I am so looking forward to actually being in China. My God is awesome, mighty, amazing, and I can't wait to see what he's still going to do. :)))

Edit: Oh, and just to add: on Wednesday, I also got a $100 donation, which made me very happy!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Random Updates That You Don't Really Care About

2011-05-10T15:53:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So. I'm now going to give you a typical update on my life, instead of something you might actually care about. Why? Because that's just how boring I am. I don't even have a camera to, like, show you pictures or something. Which is pretty sad, by the way.

Of course, it's going to be even worse because there's quite literally nothing going on in my life. At all. Um...

I'm reading through Ezekiel. And fun fact: this morning I woke up at 7am and finished my roughly nine chapters of reading (in Ezekiel) before 8! I was rather proud of myself, because even though I have plenty of time to do it during the day, it's nice to be able to read other books during the day. And getting it all done is helpful because then I don't have that day of reading "hanging over my head." Not that that the Bible is something that hangs over my head. But anyway.

What else, what else?

There hasn't been anything going on with the trip, either.

I know, I know. God will provide, God can work miracles, if he wants me to go on this trip, he will give me the money. I know. I know that it's true, and I've seen it happen.

But, I'm going to make a quick confession: I am an incredible control freak and the kind of person that makes to-do lists, right? So when something doesn't seem to be happening when I think I need it to, I get a little...worried.

And that's pretty much what's happening here. Yes, I know it's not right to be so horribly worried about it. But the day meter only ticks lower, and the finances aren't going up. It's quite frightening, because the closer I get, the more I can't help thinking, "Well, what if the money doesn't come in? What if I don't get it all?" Then I will have basically spent the past six months doing...nothing. All this work, all the fundraising I've done will be for nothing. The relationships I've made with a couple of the people who are going on the trip with me will be for nothing.

That frightens me, just a little. That all that work will go for nothing.

I mean, yes, I'll be able to go on a trip next year possibly, and that would be nice. But I suppose I just don't understand why God would have blessed things so much - y'know, giving me double what it was projected I'd make and all, but now...

I don't know. I guess I'm just discouraged and burnt out. I have a fundraiser planned for this Saturday. I'm praying God will bless. I know God will bless.

Please just pray that things will work out to God's glory. ;)

And, as always, if somebody would like to donate something to my trip, just email me. Or find me on my Facebook page over there. >

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

The Frolic Blog Party

2011-05-07T14:53:00.002-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Because the giveaways are absolutely beautiful. And I want one. So hence...here goes.

Favorite thing about summer?

Freedom to go do missions! And, this summer...Christian Youth in Action and China!!

In your opinion, the best scent in the entire world?

Campfires. They remind me of Africa.

An embarrassing moment:

Oh dear, which one to choose? I don't know, and I'm not answering this. :P

This is a bit overdone, but, what's your clothing style?

Probably just...comfortable...and...yeah. I usually wear jeans and a t-shirt...

Deep question time: vanilla or chocolate?

Both!

What do you think: is the Twilight fad dying out? And if it is, are you dancing over its grave?

Probably. The last movie's opening will probably kill it. I don't know if I'm dancing on its grave. But I usually don't care enough about fads to dance about any of them at any point of their existence, so...yeah.

Favorite quote?

Oh, that's a toughie. Probably:
"I have but one passion: It is He, it is He alone. The world is the field and the field is the world; and henceforth that country shall be my home where I can be most used in winning souls for Christ." — Count Nicolaus Ludwig von Zinzendorf

Best thing that has ever happened to you and why?

Um...probably going to Zambia and getting to meet so many great people. Why? Well, it was in Africa. I think it's sort of self-explanatory.

Traveling: where would you want to go?

As many places as I could be useful.

Favorite food?

Meat.

What type of music do you like?

A blend of contemporary Christian, classical/instrumental/soundtracks of various sorts, hymns, and indie-pop.

Are you a squeamish person? Any stories?

Not particularly.

Flipflops, bare feet, or heels?

Bare feet or sneakers. Yes, I know, sneakers weren't an option. But it's what I usually wear. So I thought I'd add it in.

Do you like old black and white films?

YESH.

Skirts or jeans?

Depends on my mood. Right now, I'm in a very pronounced jeans mood. The other day, I wore a skirt because I felt in a skirt mood. It just depends.

Fresh or saltwater?

Um...I'm not sure.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

In Grace We Move Blog Party

2011-05-06T09:41:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I'm bored. So I'm going to go ahead and fill this out. Go check out the upcoming party, over at Grace Like Rain. It's going to be pretty epic.

What, to you, forms the essence of a true heroine?

Sort of, in a way, what forms a true hero. Someone who isn't afraid to learn, who behaves (or can behave) in a selfless manner, who has a kind heart. Someone who is willing to give up everything for a cause.

Share (up to four) heroines of literature that you most admire and relate to.

Hm. Elizabeth Bennet, because she's amazing. Um...I'm not thinking right now...so I don't know. There are more, know that.

Five of your favorite historical novels?

Five? Um...anything by Jane Austen? :P No...um...

Christy

Far From the Madding Crowd

Gone With the Wind

Little Women

To Kill a Mockingbird

Out of those five books, who is your favorite character, and why?

Probably either Jo (Little Women) or Scout (TKAM). Jo is just so...Jo. And Scout is cute, and ridiculous.

If you were to plan out your dream vacation, where would you travel to - and what would you plan to do there?

As I've said before, I don't understand this 'vacation' concept. However, if you're talking about travelling away from my home, then I'd choose to go to China. To tell people about Jesus. XD

What is your favorite time period and culture to read about?

For the first, probably medieval Europe or Renaissance England. Favorite culture is ancient Egypt...

You have been invited to perform at the local charity concert. Singing, comedy, recitation - what is your act comprised of?

Probably singing. I'm no good at comedy, and I can't memorize things fast enough to recite it. :P

If you were to attend a party where each guest was to portray a heroine of literature, who would you select to represent?

Jo March or Elizabeth Bennet.

What are your sentiments on the subject of chocolate?

It is God's greatest gift to mankind. Or womankind. Whatever.

Favorite author(s)?

Ooh, that's a tough one. Jane Austen, obviously. Agatha Christie. James Patterson has written some good stuff.

How would people describe your personality? (If they could only use ONE word.) Are they right?

After conducting an extensive survey - hyper. (Okay, it wasn't that extensive. I've asked two of my friends this before. And they've both used that word. And I'm pretty sure others would, too. Anywho.) And yes, they're kind of right. I'm working on it though. I'm not as...BLAAAHH!...as I have been in the past. :P

What is your favorite thing to snack on while you're blogging?

I usually don't snack on things when I blog. I might have a cup of water handy, though.

Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn? What is it?

Foreign languages. I would love to learn foreign languages.

Describe your ideal dwelling place.

Wherever I can do the most work for Christ. Whether that's a hut in the middle of the African bush or a high-rise apartment in NYC, I'm there. Well, maybe not the latter. I don't think I'd have enough money for that.

Your duties met for the day, how would you choose to spend a carefree summer?

Doing ministry.

And yes, some of these answers might sound like pat spiritual answers, like I'm trying to look spiritual. But seriously. I cannot imagine a summer where I didn't go do CYIA or some other ministry-related thing, or go do overseas missions, or something. It would be a very boring summer, methinks.

Share the most significant event(s) that have marked your life in the past year.

Zambia. That is, of course, the biggest one. Um...finding GE and the China trip I'll be taking soon, God willing. That was another. I really can't think of anything else.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Discouragement

2011-05-02T20:28:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Lately, life has been rather difficult for me. These past couple weeks, it's seemed as if everything has been going wrong at once. I remember earlier this year, when everything with our house and our car and our lives that could go wrong, was. Now, it's been our physical health: Flipper broke her foot, so she's not been quite as...flipp-y lately, and we had a stomach bug going around that wrecked whatever semblance of a schedule we'd managed to whip up.

'Twas not so fun. But thankfully, except for the broken foot, it seems that things are coming back to normal, or whatever passes for it at my house.

But I'm still discouraged. You see, in the midst of all that, very little has been happening with my trip.

Earlier, I felt like God was really blessing my trip; I made twice the estimated amount at my bake sale. But now, it's going on the third week without a major donation. Just...nothing. Ten dollar amounts come filtering in in change jars. I have a sneaking suspicion that there are a couple people waiting for me to only have $200 left to raise so they can sweep in and give it to me...but I'm not going to get there if it...

Gah, I'm complaining now. And I shouldn't. But please be in prayer for me. I know God will provide. Our pastor preached an excellent message Sunday morning on just this issue, about God supplying all our needs. And I know he will.

It's sometimes just difficult to remember.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

A Sudden Urge

2011-04-26T20:57:00.004-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Have you ever gotten an overwhelming urge to do something, and you don't understand why? I'm not talking about some ordinary urge, like to go check out the fridge for snacks. I do that all the time. I'm talking about some deep desire, some inner compunction to pray for someone, to love someone, to...I don't know.

But I experienced that tonight.

I don't know who this woman is. She's some random Malaysian woman that this lady took a picture of. The only reason I was in her photo album was because she tagged a picture of one of my friends who is on the Race (who I miss desperately by the way...I could really use a Chelsea-hug about now...).

But I stopped for a moment and prayed for this woman tonight. Because it just seemed like something I needed to do.

Anyway. I just wanted to share my odd moment for the night.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

The Psalms

2011-04-22T16:54:00.002-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I love the Psalms. They're my favorite part of the Bible, except possibly John's four books. It's probably because, no matter what I'm going through, there's a Psalm for it. And anyway, who can't love passages like these?

"The Lord is m light and my salvation: whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"
(Psalm 27:1)

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him."
(Psalm 28:7)

"I will love thee, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust: my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from my enemies."
(Psalm 18:1-3)

"For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now will I arise, saith the Lord; I will set him in safety from him that puffeth at him. The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O Lord, thou shalt preserve them from this generation forever."
(Psalm 12:5-7)

Yes, there are many great verses in the Bible that aren't contained in Psalms. But I love Psalms nontheless. Because it is beautiful.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Me and my "Fancy" teeth

2011-04-19T13:29:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Cass, I hope you're happy. LOL

More like 'totally jacked-up teeth', but meh. There are my braces. I can't wait for them to be off.

Actually, in all honesty, it hasn't been that bad. The soreness hasn't been as bad as I thought it'd be, and the only thing that's really annoying is these bite block things they put in to keep me from biting down and messing up the progress my teeth are making. They make it impossible for my teeth to come together at all which, obviously, means I can't chew.

That's pure torture when you love to eat.

But ah well. I suppose I shall adapt. In just a bit I'm going back in so they can put a covering on these two little spring thingies they've put in to force two teeth apart so we can pull forward two of my teeth, one on the top, one on the bottom. They hurt like crazy. So yeah. Fun, fun.

Edited to add: Take a peek at the girl on the unreached people's widget on my sidebar for today....is she not the most beautiful thing ever?

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Ugh

2011-04-18T11:55:00.001-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So, I know I'm like basically serial-posting. You don't mind, right? This is important.

Okay, maybe not.

I now have braces.

And they hurt like craziness.

And they're annoying.

And I don't know how I'm going to survive the next couple years.

Because this stinks.

Anyway. Just thought you might like to know.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Crazy Coincidences

2011-04-18T11:50:00.000-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

There's this interesting thing about God. He always knows what we need to hear.

Yesterday was the first day of a 'revival meeting' at our church. The evangelist told us yestermorn that last night's message would be the best. (Of course, he then informed us that tonight's will be even better, but I digress.) Yesterday afternoon, I was Facebook chatting with one of my friends who I do a Good News Club with. We were talking about my China funds, and how much I still need, and how I'm sort of freaking out. She told me that she was sure God would provide, and that I didn't need to worry.

Fast-forward to Sunday night. The evangelist was preaching out of Daniel 2, which is the account of Nebuchadnezzar's dream. The preacher focused on verse 21.

Daniel answered in the presence of the king, and said, The secret which the king hath demanded cannot the wise men, the astrologers, the magicians, the soothsayers, shew unto the king; But there is a God in heaven that revealeth secrets...

His whole message was about how we shouldn't worry about things because there is a God in Heaven. And, predictably, he got on the subject of financial things. And God simply reminded me of Haggai 2:8.

The gold is mine, and the silver is mine, saith the Lord of hosts.

That was God, not-so-subtly pointing out that he's got everything under control. That I don't have to worry. That he's still in heaven. That everything belongs to him.

Don't you love those crazy coincidences?

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Strengthen My Hands

2011-04-17T16:25:00.002-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Sometimes, the Old Testament can be really annoying for me. It's all about the Jewish people and their ridiculous cycle of fail-repent-fail. The law was a killer system, and it killed a lot. A lot of it is just flat depressing. I have to admit I'm sort of dreading reading through the minor prophets again. I just did that.

But there is one very important thing we can learn from the old testament, and that is that God will never fail us. Even when it seems like everything is going completely wrong, God knows. He has a plan. And yes, he might have to send us through something terrible to get our attention, but he'll be right there all the time.

Anyway. Today I finished up Ezra and went into Nehemiah. These two books are...pretty boring. I'm looking forward to reading Esther tomorrow. Esther is one of my favorite Bible people. Anywho.

To give you the context of Nehemiah: the Jewish people have been taken captive into Babylon. Several years pass, and the Jews are informally set free, though many of them decide to stay put in their cushy Babylonian/Persian homes. During this time, Queen Esther reigns in Persia with her husband, Xerxes/Ahasuerus. So Nehemiah hears from somebody that Ezra has rebuilt the temple, but that it's unprotected, because the walls of Jerusalem have been completely broken down. So Nehemiah gets into his head that that sounds like something he could do.

He asks for permission to go build it, the king gives it, and Nehemiah heads off. After a rather boring catalogue of everybody who was working on the wall, Nehemiah proceeds to tell about the many setbacks that came their way, mostly instigated by the neighboring kingdoms who, understandably, were a bit upset about this ancient superpower trying to make a comeback. In chapter 6, Sanballat the Horonite decides he's going to start spreading some nasty rumors, in the hopes that the Persian king will shut Nehemiah's building efforts down.

Then I sent unto him, saying, There are no such things done as thou sayest, but thou feignest them out of thine own heart. For they all made us afraid, saying, Their hands shall be weakened from the work, that it be not done. Now therefore, O God, strengthen my hands.

I can't help but appreciate that stubborn response. Nehemiah basically says - "Okay, Sanballat. You're saying we're going to fail. You're saying my God can't succeed. Well, sir, sit back and watch my God work."

Sometimes, we need to pray for God to strengthen our hands, our minds, our bodies to stand up to things that are going on. I know that I do. And God has never ceased to be faithful when I ask.

This is very disjointed, I know. I don't think I got across fully what I was trying to say. But take from it what you will.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

A Dash of Randomness

2011-04-16T16:13:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I now know how to make white chocolate-raspberry scones, thanks to Jordyn who directed my attention to this link. Seriously. Most. Amazing. Sweets. Ever. You think I'm joking. They are epic. They are the height of epic.

For now. Until I discover some new treat that's even better.

I'll just stick to my scones for the moment. :D

Last night, my youth group took an hour-long trip to go to a youth rally in a (sort of) neighboring town. After a bit of disappointment because the speaker we had been told would be attending wouldn't be (he preached at summer camp last year), we had tons of fun.

By the way: earnest junior highers being scared witless = most hilarious thing I've seen all month. And that's so mean. But it's true.

The speaker taught on how, even though we can feel as if we don't belong anywhere, and that God couldn't use us, he created us for a specific purpose. Because, after all, God uses the least, the littlest, and the last.

God uses those who think they're nobody compared to so-and-so. God uses those who believe that they are so low God can't use them.

God uses the littlest, those who believe they have no ability to offer God.

God uses the last, the ones who are willing to go behind others, to lift others up, to help others get ahead before themselves.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Everything to Me

2011-04-09T09:26:00.004-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Today I'm going to a teacher appreciation dinner at our local CEF office. That's right. I'm a teacher, and I'm going to be appreciated. They luffles me.

LOL, not really. I am a teacher, and that's how I got an invitation to this deal, but there are also going to be 39 other CEF teachers there. So it's not all for me. Though one of my friends did bake cupcakes for the event, and those are mostly for me.

I got volunteered to sing a song at this deal, along with another lady. We're singing "Everything to Me," and it's been sort of stuck in my head for the past half-week. So I thought, hey, don't let a good idea go to waste, so I'm going to blog about it.

You're everything to me, You're more than a story, more than words on a page of history. You're the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for, and the ground beneath my feet...You're everything to me, Lord, You're everything to me.

These lyrics encompass everything the Christian life is supposed to mean. It's not supposed to be about us, it's not supposed to be about our wants, needs, desires. It's supposed to be about the One who died for us. It's supposed to be about the one who makes the sun rise and the stars to shine. Our whole lives are supposed to be about magnifying and glorifying him.

Last night I was thinking about that verse that talks about abiding in Jesus Christ. I find it interesting that it doesn't talk about Jesus Christ indwelling me. It talks about me abiding in him.

To me, that means that I'm supposed to, quite literally, be the body of Jesus Christ. My feet are no longer mine, they are his. My hands are no longer my own, they are his. My heart should beat in time with his, and break over everything that hurts him.

I think that might be one of the problems in America today. Christians have forgotten what it means to be the body of Christ. They've stopped letting Christ be everything to them, and have gotten sidetracked on all these other things. They've forgotten what it means to abide, to have the world see Christ instead of them.

So yeah. Just my thoughts for this morning. They're a little deep for 9:30. But that's okay.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Lessons Africa Taught Me

2011-04-07T10:08:00.005-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

30,000 children die every day in Africa.

They are killed by starvation.

Unsafe water.

Malaria.

Diseases that have been eradicated in the Western world.

Infections.

HIV/AIDS.

25% of African children born will die before they reach the age of five.

Every 30 seconds, an African child dies from malaria alone. And that's just the children.

That isn't counting the millions of adults who are currently infected with HIV/AIDS and will die within the year. That isn't counting the millions who will die from starvation, war, disease in the next day.

But what is amazing about Africa is not so much that the people are suffering. Suffering is a human condition, it affects every part of human life, no matter where we live or who we are or how much money we have.

What is amazing about Africa is how wonderful the people are. In a place where people should be in the depths of despair...

They're happy.

In a place where people should be bemoaning their lack...

They are glad for what they have.

So why then is it that I, who have so much, can't get over my perceived lack? I suppose humans will always want more, and since I'm human, I guess I'm the same. But I don't want to be that way anymore.

Because I don't want to forget the lessons Africa taught me.

爱於耶穌, ~Liberty

One Day Without Shoes

2011-04-05T08:25:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So today is the annual "Day Without Shoes" that TOMS, the popular charity shoe manufacturer, puts on. And, since all I have to do today is go to a Good News Club and visitation (at church), I'm going to try it this year. :D

Should be fun!

爱於耶穌,

~Liberty

Liquid Sunshine Blog Party

2011-04-04T13:31:00.001-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I'm joining in. Why? Well, I really want a certain brown purse. Or a pretty piece of jewelry. Hence, I'm joining. Oh, and I like to do quizzes. Yet another reason. And sunshine is awesome. So, without further ado:

Favorite season, and why?

Probably spring. I don't know why. Maybe because it's such a growing sort of season. The world is coming alive.

How would you describe your personal style?

I don't know that I really have one. I usually wear jeans and t-shirts. Sometimes I'll slip on a chitenge over my jeans if they're dirty, but that's about it.

What's one weird thing you can do? (The stranger the better!

I whisper when I read. Like, literally, whisper out loud along with what I'm reading. It drives my little sister crazy. v.v

Rain or shine?

In between. I like nice, cloudy, cool days where the sun just sometimes peeps out from behind a cloud, and occasionally a mist will come up. I'm weird, what can I say?

Confession time... what's a flaw of yours?

A propensity to not listen to advice or concerns from others. Yes, I am quite guilty of that, particularly when those concerns touch upon other failures of mine.

Favorite music?

I like hymns and classical, but I'm also quite a fan of contemporary Christian.

Have you ever made a decision you instantly regretted? What was it?

I can't think of anything right off the top of my head. I'm sure there's something, and if it were 3am, I could tell you a million things. But as it is currently 1 in the afternoon, my brain won't let me access those memories. And I'm okay with that.

Who do you admire/look up to?

Lots of people. Some of them dead, some of them living. One of my heroes is Gladys Aylward. She was a missionary to China in the early 1900's. She was told by a missions organization when she was in her mid-20s that she was "too old" to learn Mandarin. She went on to become the first foreigner to become a Chinese citizen.

You've just won an unlimited lifetime supply of... what?

Books. And airline fares, so that I can go places without having to raise so much money to go on missions trips. XD

If you were an animal, what would you be?

Probably a bird of some type.

If you knew you were going to die in a year, what would you do?

Oh my. I'd probably make the rounds of restricted-access nations, not caring what happened to me, because I was going to die anyway. And I'd tell as many people as possible about Jesus.

You are a now a gazillionaire... where do you go to spend your money?

A gazillion? Well, most of it would probably either go to current missionaries on the field, or go to finance my future missions trips. (What were you saying about needing a job, mom?) Then I'd by books. And a new house for my family - a huge house, a millionaire's house, with many bedrooms and bathrooms - and then I'd buy more books. And yeah. Then I'd create scholarships for kids to go to CYIA, and I'd end world hunger, and...

Classical music: love it or hate it?

Love it sometimes. Sometimes I can't stand it. It depends on what kind of classical, too - fast, slow, mournful, whatever.

Phobias?

Fear itself. And roaches.

Hop on a plane and go live somewhere for a year... where is it, and why?

I'd probably be more likely to go do the World Race than go live in one place. But if I had to choose one place...China, or Thailand.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

It depends on where I am and who I'm with.

Would you/do you perform on stage?

Hahaha...I'm not an actress. At all. In no conceivable universe could I be an actress.

爱於耶穌,

~Liberty

Living Vicariously

2011-04-03T20:56:00.007-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

It's how I cope, sometimes. I'm feeling discouraged in my fundraising, or I've had a hard day at a Good News Club, or things just aren't going how I feel like they should. So I go to the World Race website. And I open up the most recent blog posts. And as I immerse myself in the last one hundred updates from Racers all over the world - posts about spiritual insights, pictures of people thousands of miles away - I find myself living vicariously.

I find a little bit of myself going to those people, being with them as they experience this journey. I don't know them, but I'm content to sit here and observe the Race through their eyes. In fact, while I want to go do the Race someday, it's sort of a distant thing, something I'll do one of these days, when I get the money, and I grow up, and I'm wiser, and I'll be able to pour out my own spiritual revelations.

I'm finding that vicarious living is kind of draining.

This morning, our youth pastor taught on people who don't want to grow up. Part of it was about how we should avoid "defaulting" into life. He used his iPhone as an example. There's a button on there that you can use to return your phone to the factory presets: every original setting that was put into place by a programmer in some distant Apple factory, every picture, every minute detail, will return to what it was before you took it up in your hand. And sometimes, we can do that. We can hit some mental button in our mind and "default" our lives. Or as my pastor put it this evening: we just coast along. Instead of running our race, we've decided it would be a lot easier to put on roller skates and let our momentum carry us along lazily, in no particular direction.

Some of us don't pay any attention to those who are doing things. They're the crazies, those radicals who actually take things like "Rescue the Perishing" and such things seriously. Some say they're just running on emotion, that what they have isn't real, that once they get home, they'll peter out and never be heard from again. Might that be true for some? Most certainly. But not for all.

And are we any better? We've consigned ourselves to living vicariously. We let what others do be enough for us. Yes, we have spurts of activity where we try to meet the mark for the Perfect Christian. We go to church more, we participate in more church activities, we might even go door-knocking or help out with children's ministry. We'll join the choir, or help out with making meals for a sick family. We'll commit to reading through our Bible in a year, and start out great.

But then we'll start looking around, and see Bro. Jack, who is so perfect. He goes on visitation not once but twice a week. He goes door-knocking on Sunday afternoons, and has a Saturday night ministry to those who go downtown. His wife is perfect, his teenagers are both trendy, modest, and great Christians. So we stop doing what we're doing, telling ourselves, "Well, I can't really be a good Christian, because I'm not as good as Bro. Jack. And anyway, since Bro. Jack is doing all that, why should I do anything? I'll just watch him, maybe learn a little, then someday I'll get out there."

So we hit the default button, strap on our roller skates, and start living vicariously.

We've become a whole church of people who live vicariously.

We let others live out the life of a Christian. We dream of what it would look like to be a member of an "Acts church," but we do nothing about it. We schedule revivals in the hope that the Holy Spirit will come upon us, though we don't let him guide us. I've decided that isn't enough for me anymore.

I don't want to live vicariously anymore.

I don't want to hit the default button.

I don't want to strap on my skates and take the easy way.

I don't want to watch others do, I want to do myself!

Is there anything wrong with taking wisdom from those who are learning so much? Of course not. The problem comes when that's all I'm doing, when I'm not reaching out myself to the poor and hungry and broken.

The problem comes when I'm not doing my part for the Kingdom.

The problem comes when it doesn't hurt me to think about those who are dying, lost in their sins.

The problem comes when I can quietly sit down, read about the great things being done for God, and not be moved and heartbroken and convicted and urged to go and do and be!

The problem comes when we're content to live vicariously, when we don't notice it, and it doesn't bother us. When we can sit back and live a normal life, and never feel an inner conviction of what we should be doing.

Our pastor continued this evening, talking about Paul. In the beginning of Romans 9, Paul is talking about his greatest sorrow. Verse 3 says:

For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren...

Paul's burden was so great, that he would have been willing to cast himself away from Christ for the sake of the lost. Why, then, do I make such a big deal about my little comforts? Why is it that I'm content to sit here and live vicariously, never thinking of others?

Let me never be content to live vicariously.

Let me take life as it comes.

Let me be guided by the Holy Spirit that dwells within me.

Let me make my own life

And may it be a life worthy of my king.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Hold On

2011-03-27T14:58:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Source: The Hope Movement (Also known as the most epic Christian graphics site ever)

So I clicked onto Tumblr this afternoon, and this was at the top of my feed. Isn't it beautiful? This saying sums up everything that's been going on my life this year, hands down. There have been multiple times just in these few months where I've asked God, "Okay, where are you? Because this is going on, and this is going on, and you're asking me to do this, and I don't get it."

God's response? "Hold on. I know what I'm doing."

Yeah. I just wanted to share that with you. :D

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

My God is Bigger

2011-03-25T08:42:00.002-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

God is amazing. Seriously.

So I had a bake sale to benefit my trip. Every site I looked at, everybody I talked to said that the average amount a person would make at a sale like that would be about $250. When I told them my goal, what I thought God was going to give me, was $500, they all acted askance, like "Okay, but really...I don't think so." In fact, I had kind of begun to think that I was aiming too high.

Don't ever tell God what he's supposed to do for you.

I went out to Walmart with four people baking for me, from 10am to 2 in the afternoon. And I made $530.

In another fundraiser I'm doing, I give people Pringles cans, and they fill them with change. The estimate is that you'll make about $30-$50 per can. Wednesday, I had a lady turn one in and it had about $100 in it.

And as I was writing this, I went to check the above estimate and discovered that I had just received a donation of $1,000 from someone I don't even recognize. I now only lack $1,400 for my base cost.

I serve a great and mighty God. He is bigger than what men say he can do for me. As I sit here, I'm practically in tears of ecstatic joy because of how awesome my God is.

He has a crazy love for me. I don't know why, but he does. That's something to rejoice about.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

This is God's Love

2011-03-24T16:45:00.004-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

This is God's love. It conquers the world.

That is the tail-end of a quote by Frederick Buechner, quoted in Crazy Love. What is God's love?

The love for equals is a human thing - of friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles. The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing - the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world. The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing - to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints. And then there is the love for the enemy - love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain. The tortured's love for the torturer. This is God's love. It conquers the world.

Beautiful.

Seriously, you have to read this book. Right now.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Crazy Love and Kittens

2011-03-24T08:05:00.003-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So I just acquired a copy of Francis Chan's Crazy Love. It is quite possibly one of the most amazing non-Bible books I've ever read. :D I'm only in chapter 4, but it's still good. I'll probably post a more extensive review after I actually finish.

In other news, I'm currently reading through the books of Moses. I just got done with Numbers and am now in Deuteronomy, eagerly looking forward to getting into Joshua. The law books are bo-ring. I mean, I know they're there for a purpose, and there's tons of history, but I really don't want to hear about the precise ways the Hebrews were supposed to kill baby sheep. Yeah. Not my favorite topic.

So this morning was quite interesting. One of our cats decided 3:30am was the perfect time to deliver a litter of eight kittens! Thankfully, due to the eager ministrations of my mom and little siblings, I got to stay in bed until 7. Haha. So now Chloe is sharing a bed with eight little hairless rats. At least, that's sort of what they look like. Homemaker insists she can tell what sex they are now, despite mom and I repeatedly telling her that she can't tell yet.

As I write this, Monkey, JeeBee, and Handyman keep coming into my room to see the kittens, since we brought Mama-cat in here for safe-keeping. Flipper and Sweet Cheeks are currently passed out on the bed and the couch, respectively, and Sweet Cheeks at least looks like she's going to be there for awhile.

Please be in prayer for one of the kittens. It's a runt, and isn't eating. We're trying to coax it to eat, but we're not getting much cooperation from it or Mama-Cat, so please pray that it'll figure it out and that its siblings will share.

Also, to end on a high note, it was Handyman's birthday on Tuesday. He's now ten years old!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Christians and the Law

2011-03-15T13:45:00.004-05:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So I've been seeing quite a bit about this lately. I don't know if it's because of a blog I stumbled across (which is more likely, because it's what provoked this thought in the first place), or a Facebook friend I added, but there is a section of Christians that seem to think part of our lives should be the Old Testament Law - in other words, the Levitical law that was handed down to Moses as a guide for the Hebrew people.

Now, I understand the desire to do something great for God, I really do. The problem is that I don't think we see God calling gentile Christians to follow the Law anywhere in the Bible. Hebrew Christians may be another deal - you'll have to talk to a more knowledgeable authority on that one - but nowhere do we see Jesus or his disciples telling gentile Christians they are supposed to follow the Law.

There was much dispute about this issue even in the early church. In Acts 15, we find the church leaders in an uproar about whether or not gentiles, as Christians, are supposed to follow the law. Remember that, just a few chapters earlier, these same people were getting angry with Peter because he went and witnessed to the uncircumcised heathen. Of course, then Peter had to explain about how God had basically slapped him upside the head and told him what was going to happen: that what God had called clean (the gentiles) could not be called unclean (by Peter). Fast forward. Paul and Barnabas are having some troubles with these same men, the ones from Judea, who are still stubbornly holding on to that circumcision issue. There's this debate going on about it, and they all come together for the express purpose of further debate, and deciding what the answer is.

Peter pretty much sums it up:

And God, which knoweth the hearts, bare then witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as he did unto us; And put no difference between us and [the gentiles], purifying their hearts by faith. Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear? But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved, even as they.

He looks around at all his friends and basically says- "Okay, what are we doing here? Didn't Jesus come to give us free salvation, by grace alone? So why are we trying to shackle these baby Christians with all the weight of four huge books that were written to Moses? Aren't they saved by grace?"

Now to those who say- "Then what is the point of the Levitical Law? Was it just some mean joke God was playing on his people?" Not quite. In Romans 3 and 7, Paul explains the purpose of the Law.

Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God. Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.
Romans 3:19-20

What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence. For without the law sin was dead.
Romans 7:7-8

This, then, is the purpose of the law: to be a schoolmaster and show us our sin. The ten commandments tell us that lying, stealing, adultery (of the heart and the body), covetousness, and disobedience are wrong. Without them, we would not know that God disliked those things, that we are accountable to a mighty God.

Let's get some history of the Law real quick, just to know where this "schoolmaster" comes from. Much of what we call the law were specialized instructions - how to build the tabernacle, how the priests were to behave, etc. etc. Circumcision was reaffirmed as a sign of commitment to God from the Hebrews. There are over 600 items on the list in all - 350 things not to be done or partaken of, and 250 things they were required to do. When first given this law, the Jews emphatically declared their resolve to keep this law. Of course, reading the history that makes up much of the old testament, we see how well that worked out: failure after failure is recorded. Even the priests, the most important part of the Levitical law command chain, were unable to keep the law. There was no salvation to be won through the law, no goodie points to be had. It was simply impossible.

This was, of course, the point, as revealed in Romans. The law is a tool to be used to highlight how depraved mankind is, how they cannot make it on their own. The repeated failure by the Hebrew people was all to prepare them for the Messiah who would come and rescue them from that up-and-down cycle. In Hebrews 8, the author writes:

For if that first covenant [the law] had been faultless, then should no place have been sought for the second. For finding fault with them, he saith, Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah: Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to lead them out of the Land of Egypt; because they continued not in my covenant, and I regarded them not, saith the Lord.

He goes on to talk to his Jewish readers about how the laws "would be written on their hearts," and how God would forgive their iniquities (that was, of course, a quotation by the author from Jeremiah 31). So even to the Jewish people, God made the promise that he would eventually remove from them the old covenant: that is, the entirety of the law.

Some people will take the part where he talks about the law being written on their hearts and say- "You see? There we go. The Levitical law is written on our hearts, sort of like a conscience, and we're supposed to follow it." If that's so, then each one of us should feel the pricking of our conscience, that little voice of the Holy Spirit, whenever we eat bacon or wear nylon. But none (or very few) of us do, unless we're constantly thinking about how we should feel bad about those things. So what then is this law? I'm not sure. I haven't finished studying it out yet. I may have to come back in a few weeks and say "Oops, I was wrong. I'm going to give up pork and my Saturday shopping," but we'll see. ;)

The point of all this is, I suppose, that we don't have to follow the law because we are under grace. Christ fulfilled the qualifications of the law. He satisfied the justice of God. You see this all throughout the Gospels, in the epistles of the New Testament. We are no longer under the law, we are under grace. The law of the Spirit of life has made us free from the law of sin and death. The law is an all-or-nothing proposition. You can't pick and choose which qualifications you want- "Oh, I'm going to go to church on Saturday and abstain from pork, but not stone my child who rebels, or a woman I suspect of being a witch, and I'm going to let my heater come on on Saturday, because I don't like getting frozen."

Either you follow the law, or you do not. Either you try to be justified under it, or you do not.

I'm glad I'm free from that. I'm glad that Christ so loved me that he was willing to come and die for me, to bring me a new covenant. He died for me! The Lord of the Universe gave his perfect, sinless life for me! Why do I need to follow the law, when I am freed and perfected in him?

Do I still sin? Of course. But I can rest and have peace knowing that I'm not under the law, that I don't have to follow an endless set of qualifications to win brownie points, or whatever it is we're supposed to do by following the law. I am free, thanks to Christ. Are you?

To read more about this subject, I'd suggest procuring a copy of Andrew Farley's "The Naked Gospel." It's an absolutely amazing book. It will change your life. For real.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Japan

2011-03-11T20:15:00.002-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

It makes me sad that the horror in Japan has come down to a debate between atheists and Christians. And that's what it's become in some places - I've seen it on Facebook, and YouTube, and now on Blogger. There's a time and a place for such discussions, and I don't think it's when hundreds of people have died.

No, God didn't "cause" the tsunami. Nor did he necessarily just "let it happen." He's put in place certain natural laws and, unfortunately, sometimes those natural laws - especially the presence of multiple oceanic plates situated just under a string of ocean islands - cause earthquakes and tsunamis and hurricanes and tornadoes. It's the way of nature. Get used to it.

Now that I've dealt with the debate surrounding that issue in as short a time as I'm willing to give it...

My heart goes out to all those people who have lost family members. Whether those family members have died or are missing or whatever, I'm praying for their safety in the coming days, and that the world will be able to band together and send some sort of support to Japan. In the meantime, Japan isn't the only country affected. From what I understand, Hawaii, the Philippines, and the western coast of the US have also been hit. I have some friends who live on the western coast, and I sincerely hope they're alright, because I'd be sad if they weren't.

Anyway. Please be in prayer for the people of Japan and the other places affected in the coming days. :)))

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Analyzing a Theme

2011-03-11T15:26:00.002-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Occasionally, in the places of my mind where I process my story-stuff, I start musing over questions. Questions like- "What do I want my book to say at the heart of it?"

Needless to say, I don't ever necessarily have a point to what I write. My stories are just that - stories that are probably pointless and largely full of fluff and sometimes pointless drama that even I don't understand, and wish would stop (darn you, Tony and Enna!). But I suppose every book should have some core meaning, some theme that wraps it up.

So I was thinking about mine today.

Valiant's was pretty simple. Kind of. It's somewhere between love conquers all and your family isn't necessarily the people you were born to. There might also be something in there about how Centaurs are not always evil, or even people on the "wrong" side can be good, but we won't go into that.

Ravaged Time was a bit tougher. It doesn't end on a high note, where every conflict is perfectly resolved. I must admit that **spoiler** my main characters have to split up. Yes. They can't live together, because of a situation that is actually eerily like the end of His Dark Materials, now that I think about it. Oops. That was not intentional. But if I had to choose what the 'theme' was, I'd probably have to say that it was freedom is always worth fighting for. Throughout the whole book, freedom is found. Tony finds freedom from his own attitude. Enna finds freedom from the constraints of Alliance society. Terria and Dravin are fighting for political freedom. And yeah, they could have laid down and become good little Alliance citizens again, but they didn't.

I haven't yet discovered Dark Dawn's theme, or the theme for Stellae. I suppose you'll just have to wait for me to launch into editing to discover those.

What are the core themes of your stories?

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

A Chat With Maerwen

2011-03-10T15:41:00.003-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So...this was a thing on Facebook that several other writers were doing. You're supposed to write a short blurb with your favorite character from your stories, as if they were real. This was what I wrote. It isn't as good as Mirriam's, but I think it's pretty good.

I chose Maerwen because...I like Maerwen. She isn't my favorite character I've ever written, but she was the first one that came to mind, so...yeah. Enjoy. :D

I bite my lip and try to not to be completely frustrated that my characters aren't cooperating. Some people think that your characters don't have a mind of their own. I beg to differ. They're the most ridiculously independent things to ever be invented. I tap my pen against the paper, alternately glancing from it to the computer screen. Yes, I have them both open. It's how I roll.

"Just...write already." the voice of Maerwen comes from behind me. She's standing next to my bed, one hand gently laid on it, looking perfect and beautiful, and...yeah.

"Everything's written."

"Get editing then." she suggests with the cheery ease of somebody who doesn't have to do it - she just has to sit there and watch.

"You won't like it when I do."

Her smile freezes. "And why is that?"

I shrug. "Just because. You never know what I might do."

She comes closer, to lean over my chair and see what I have written. "Excellent. Throw Ionwe to Durion, I don't care."

"If Ionwe goes down, you're going with him." I say.

"No I won't." she insists. "He'll take Anarisia. He likes her better, anyway."

"Of course he does. They're falling in love."

"Pretty silly of them, if you ask me."

"Love isn't silly Maerwen."

"Sure it is. Just see if I ever fall in love."

A grin comes onto my face. She sees it. "What is that for? Stop it. I don't like it. What are you thinking?"

My hands go to my keyboard. "Watch and learn, Madame Pixie."

Haha. I don't think Maerwen is speaking to me anymore. Ah well.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

"His Dark Materials" Review

2011-03-10T07:51:00.003-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So out of inordinate and perhaps insufferable curiosity I read the "His Dark Materials" trilogy, by Philip Pullman.

And...despite its admittedly anti-Christian message, I actually enjoyed it. I know, I know. I'm a bad person. But it is ridiculously hard to find good, solid, well-written YA fantasy. Do you know how difficult that is? The fantasy genre came to a sudden screeching halt after Lord of the Rings. LOTR was written, and people decided they shouldn't come up with anything new. So Philip Pullman's trilogy at least has a new storyline.

So, for those of you who know nothing about His Dark Materials, let me tell you the bare-bones of the plot: Lyra is a twelve year old girl living in Oxford, England - a strange sort of England, where people have dæmons, creatures that are literally the outward expression of their inner souls. These dæmons take the form of animals, and are usually the opposite sex to their human. Anyway. Lyra discovers a secret about kidnappers called "Gobblers." They're kidnapping children and trying to sever their dæmons, hence making them impervious to Dust, or Shadows, or sraf, or Original Sin. Yeah. There's a lot more to it than that, but it could take a whole book to tell you. And it did.

In The Subtle Knife, we meet Will, the wielder of a knife that can cut portals between worlds - Lyra's world, his world, another world, all the worlds. Later we discover the knife has to be destroyed or bad things will happen. In The Amber Spyglass, the real bad guy dies, and Will and Lyra fall in love. Then have to split up, because their dæmons can't survive outside their own world for very long. Remind my little sister never to read these. She'd hate them for the ending only.

Anywho. Yes, these books are very anti-Christian. God ('the Authority') is portrayed as a bad guy - in fact, in Philip Pullman's universe(s), he's not a God at all, he's simply an angel who fooled every one else. But paradoxically, the Authority isn't even the real bad guy. In The Amber Spyglass, he's portrayed as a decrepit old man who can't hardly move, and dissolves the moment he steps out onto the ground. The real bad guy in His Dark Materials is Megatron/Enoch/the High Regent, a despot who wants to control all the worlds and kill any mortal who stands in his way. He's killed in The Amber Spyglass. In most places, however, it almost seems more anti-organized religion. Anti-Catholic Church in many places, actually. At the end, God is "dead," and Lyra and Will free all the dead people from the netherworld that was their home, and they become part of everything.

Word of warning, however - if you're not secure in your faith, if you're not ready to be challenged, don't read it. Because that's what these books will do, and I think that's what they're intended to do: completely rock your world and make you doubt. That's okay. It challenges us (or at least, it did me) to seriously evaluate "Why do I believe what I believe?" I think that's a good thing.

So, to sum up:

The pros are

Original storyline
Superb storytelling and detail
Dynamic characters

The cons are

Anti-God, more than anything
Rather confusing in places, it must be admitted

Yeah. So.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Random Happenings

2011-03-08T16:50:00.004-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So in good news: I've gotten roughly $170 for my trip this past week! Hoping to do better this week, since my bake sale is this weekend. Pray that I'll get enough donations in goodies to make the sale awesome.

Anyway. This afternoon, about fifteen minutes before I had to be at Good News Club, I stepped on a piece of glass and cut my foot pretty good. It hurt like crazy, let me tell you. So now I have bandaids on the bottom of my foot...which is awesome, as always. [/sarcasm]

Good News Club was crazy today - the kids wouldn't sit still for love 'nor candy. v.v

Anyway. That has been my life. OH! One thing I forgot.

There's this man in our church, a really awesome Christian. This past week, he was robbed and beat up pretty bad. A car ran over his ankle, and he has some internal bleeding and stuff. He's pretty bad off: they're keeping him in a coma for the moment, so that he won't mess up what they're doing to try to fix him. Please be in prayer for both his healing, and for his family - he has a son and step-son, a wife, and their baby. So yeah. Thanks. :))

I'm probably going to bring you all something deep and profound on Wednesday or something, probably concerning the spiritual applications of brownies. So stay tuned.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Life Is Sweet

2011-03-08T12:32:00.003-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Winning a sweet giveaway on Ara's blog. Yeah, it's awesome
Freedom to ignore people
God's Word
Peace
God's boundless love!
Being homeschooled, so I can do random stuff public-schooled kids can't
Occasional insanity -- or saying that's what it is so I can be crazy
Friends who I can joke with about being "fat"...without them thinking we're at all serious
Friends, period
Christ

Yup, life is pretty sweet. I like it. :D

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Tangled

2011-03-06T08:12:00.009-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

We went and saw Tangled last night.

And it was amazing.

I loved it very much.

Rapunzel is my new favorite Disney princess.

Anyway.

For those of you have not yet been exposed to the awesomeness that is Tangled, it's basically the story of Rapunzel. **Possible spoiler alert**

Rapunzel's mother, due to a sickness, was forced to drink the juice of a magical flower that healed her and made Rapunzel have glowing hair that can heal people.

Yeah. So basically then there's this creepy old lady who used the flower to stay young. She discovers that Rapunzel has in essence become the flower, and she steals her away to use her, all the while telling her that the world outside is just as evil as she really is...even though Rapunzel doesn't know that.

Enter Flynn Rider, who is a wanted thief because he (heh, heh) stole the lost princess' crown. Rapunzel gets him to take her to see the lanterns that are set loose to honor the princess, and hilarity ensues. Along the way, they fall in love, Mother Gothel nearly kills the both of them, Flynn becomes my favorite Disney prince, and Tangled becomes my new favorite movie.

Yeah. This is the most amazing movie of all time, and you should watch it, if only because Flynn is awesome, and Rapunzel is pretty.

The best part of this movie was that it was clean. There was no crude humor, and nothing but a kiss between Rapunzel and Flynn.

All in all, it was an excellent movie. Better than Princess and the Frog, at least. Go see it. Naow. I should hopefully be going to see Narnia this week, too! Yay!!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Thoughts of Spring Blog Party

2011-03-05T15:33:00.002-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Okay, just to introduce myself: I'm Kyla, though I go by Liberty on here. I'm 16 years old, a missionary, an avowed Jesus freak, and also quite a bit of an outspoken political nut. But that's neither here nor there. I live in a three bed, one-bath house with my seven younger siblings, three cats, five fish, and two parents. It's a fun life, and one that I wouldn't trade for anything. I like it too much. Anyway. Without further ado, some things you might not have known about me:

How would people describe your personality? (If they could only use ONE word.) Are they right?

Hyper. That's what all my friends would say. They're right. :P

What celebrity/celebrities would create a “Star-Struck” feeling if you saw them in real life?

Probably any celebrities, per se, but if I were to meet say, Bro. Yun from China, I'd probably feel pretty awesome. :D

Who is your favorite blogger? Why?

I don't think I really have a favorite. A couple of my favorite people to talk to are Cassie from Inside My Mind, and Mirriam from Thoughts of a Shieldmaiden, though. I'm actually hopefully going to be able to go visit Cass later this year, just before I go to China!

What is your comfort food/drink?

Cookies. Because they're yummy.

Be brave – tell us something very random and weird about yourself.

Um...hm. I am not a quiet person. At all. Except when I'm around people I don't know.

That wasn't very random. Oh well.

Do you have a strong desire to do something you’ve never done? What is it?

To travel. Or to skydive. One or the other.

Movies: Action, Drama, Romantic Comedy, Documentary, Comedy? What are your favorite genres?

Science fiction. I write it, watch it, read it, listen to it, breathe it, eat it...yeah.

Books: Fiction, Non-Fiction, Romance, Biographies, True Stories, Self-Help, Devotional/Study? What are your favorite types of reading material?

An even division between Fiction and non-fiction. With fiction, I like historical novels (Jane Austen, Bronte sisters, etc.) and scifi, fantasy sometimes as well. I read a lot of biographies and factual books, usually about US history and the like.

Music: Funk, Rock, Country, Jazz, Classical, Film Score, Blues, Classic Rock, Crooner, Alternative, Heavy Metal, Techno? What are your favorite types?

Christian, usually contemporary, Indie/Hipster-pop, and Classical film scores are da bomb.

If you inherited a million dollars, what is the first thing you would do with your money?

Donate a lot of it to World Race and GE missionaries I've never met, then put the rest of it in a bank account so I can go on missions trips all the time. :P Which is probably why I don't have a million dollars. I wouldn't have to trust God, then.

Name one weakness of yours (confession is good for the soul).

My temper. Without a doubt. I get angry very easily. Thankfully, I get happy again even easier.

If you could live anywhere at all (and take all your loved ones with you), where would you go?

China. Most definitely. Or maybe somewhere in Africa. All to do ministry, of course.

Strange Talent? Can you juggle basketballs, put your legs behind your head or perform some other strange feat?

Um...I have an amazing talent to make otherwise almost-ordinary conversations incredibly awkward. Does that count?

What’s something you consider yourself to be good at? (Don’t worry, it’s not bragging, it’s acknowledging a God given gift).

Reading and writing. Reading is kind of a given, but I like to think I'm good at crafting a story.

What is one of your favorite things to catch a whiff of?

A campfire. Not only does it remind me of Africa, but they just smell good.

When you leave a social gathering, do you wish: You would have talked more or You would have talked less?

Less. And softer. Because I get hyper. And it's never good.

If money wasn’t a factor, what stores would you shop in?

Eddie Baeur, and GAP on occasion.

What is your greatest fear or strange phobia?

The only thing I fear is fear itself, and cockroaches. Most anything else, I can get over with Jesus' help.

And I'm working on the cockroaches.

What is your greatest accomplishment?

Finishing my first novel. Such a feeling of awesomeness. :D

What are your favorite animals?

Cats. And horsies. And fish. Fish are such quiet creatures.

Are you a hopeless romantic?

Sometimes.

What movie or book character can you most relate to?

Heh. It's probably a mix between Mara Jade Skywalker (Star Wars), Belle (Beauty and the Beast), and Lizzy (Pride and Prejudice). Meh, there are probably more.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

970,000,000

2011-02-20T16:07:00.005-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

This morning I spoke to one of the Sunday School classes in our church. It went well, and I'm hoping some good things (for example, money) will come from it for my trip. I'm also speaking to another class next week, and hopefully another the week after. Anyway. In the course of deciding what I was going to say this morning, I wanted to convey why, exactly, I feel China is so important. I went to the Joshua Project and looked up the percentages for reached peoples in China.

The answer was 3%, about 30,000,000 people. That's a lot. But after my dad and I put that through the calculator, we discovered that that meant that only one in every 33 people had ever heard the Gospel. I have 47 followers on this blog. That means that if we were average Chinese people, only one of us, on average, would have ever even had a chance to hear the Gospel related to us.

970,000,000 Chinese have never heard the Gospel.

970 million.

After we put that through the calculator, I just sat there for a minute, processing that. 970 million people. Men, women, and children. And that is just in China alone.

That is why I'm going to China. So that those 970 million can have a chance to hear. Can I reach them all by myself? No. But when I go, maybe I'll touch just one child's life, one teenager's heart. That one teenager might have the courage to stand up for her new Lord, and she will touch another, and another, and another...

That is why I'm going to China.

I'm going to ask you, like I asked the class this morning, to please consider helping me go. Even if it's just by praying for me, since I'm sure many of you are like me and don't have a job. So pray. Pray that God will go before us and prepare these peoples' hearts. Pray that we will be able to have a productive conversation with just one of those 970 million.

If you could see your way clear to do it, please consider giving me a small donation. Use my missionary ID number, 2627397, to donate to my account. You and your family can be a part of reaching those 970,000,000 - or just the one that might make the difference.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Life is Sweet, Wk 3

2011-02-19T12:33:00.002-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Siblings
The Bible
How God plants things to encourage you just when you need them
Friends to confide in, and to pull you back up to your feet
Instant communication even when your friend is in Cambodia
Miraculous provision
Food, for reals
Abilities and talents
Free thought
Forgiveness

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

"They are Mine"

2011-02-18T21:55:00.004-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

So tonight one of my China teammates and I were talking...we're friends on Facebook, and we're also each other's informal cheer-leading team. We pick each other up when we fall, cheer the other to keep going, and just basically do our hardest to make sure both of us end up in China. Anyway. We got on the subject of fundraising, as always. That's pretty much the most stable thing in our lives right now: the ever-present need for money so we can actually get to China.

I always seem to go through stages. I get a donation, and I'm all geared up and ready to go. Then, as weeks go on and nothing comes in, I start to get discouraged. My faith wanes. It's a sad truth. I'm not Hudson Taylor quite yet. Well, Teamie and I were kind of talking about that, about how it's easy to get discouraged.

I'm currently reading through the minor prophets, mostly because they're so optimistic and stuff. Anyway. Haggai was where I began, and since it's only two chapters, I read it all. But I was brought up short at verse 8 of chapter 2. That verse simply reads:

The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the Lord of hosts.

So here I am, getting all discouraged because I'm only at $500, I have about $4,000 still to raise, and I only have 5 months left...

And God simply plants this verse. Like seriously, that's sometimes how I feel. Sometimes I feel like a certain verse couldn't have been there before, that the next time I read through that passage, that verse won't be there because it was deliberately put there just for that moment.

That's how I felt at that moment. It was like God just said- "Woah, Kyla. Hold on a minute. What are you thinking? Are you thinking that I can't do this? Are you thinking that it's impossible for you to have your $3,000 in before May? Are you thinking it's impossible for me to give you not only that $3,000, but also the extra $1,000 you need? Are you thinking that?"

And then it was as if he simply looked into my heart and said: "It all belongs to me. Every bit of it. Every piece of gold in the world - I created that. Every silver flake - I created that. Do you think I can't give you what you need?

The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the Lord of hosts.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Emergency Bible Numbers

2011-02-16T19:32:00.002-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Found this today and thought I'd share. :))

When you are sad, call on John 14
When you don’t feel loved, call on Romans 8:38-39
When you have sinned, call on 1 John 1:8-9
When you are facing danger, call on Psalm 91
When people have failed you, call on Psalm 27
When God feel far from you, call on Psalm 139
When your faith needs encouraging, call on Hebrews 11
When you are scared, call on Psalm 23
When you are worried, call on Matthew 6:25-34
When you are hurt, call on Colossians 3:12-17
When you feel no one is on your side, call on Romans 8:31-39
When you are seeking rest, call on Matthew 11:25-30
When you are suffering, call on Romans 8:18-30
When you feel you’re failing, call on Psalm 121
When you pray, call on Matthew 6:9-13
When you need courage, call on Joshua 1
When you are in need, call on Philippians 4:19
When you are hated because of your faith, call on John 15
When you are losing hope, call on 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
When you are seeking peace, call on John 14:27
When you want to do good works, call on John 15
When you want to live a happy life, call on Colossians 3:12-17
When you don’t understand what God is doing, call on Isaiah 55:8-9
When you want to get along with others, call on Romans 12:9-21

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

During this Journey (China and other things)

2011-02-14T17:04:00.003-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I currently have $600 towards my trip. God has been showing me a lot lately. He's been teaching me that it's okay to weep for things that hurt my heart and His. He's been showing me that the world is so much bigger than my needs of the moment. He's also been teaching me (or trying, at least) what Christian love and compassion and sacrifice really mean.

Sunday evening, our church had a missionary from Kenya in to preach. Not only did he make me miss Africa like nobody's business, he also preached an absolutely amazing message. During it, he dealt just briefly, almost a side note, on what "Christian" means. Our simplest definition is simply "Christ-like."

He asked us what that meant. And I heard that simple, small voice way back there in my heart that I get sometimes. And it simply said- "In everything."

Sometimes, I can get so caught up with the big things - in preparing for my life as an overseas missionary, in planning for this trip to China - that I forget about the little things. Yes, my heart belongs in overseas missions, with the lost and hurting that have never heard in other places. It almost physically hurts me to think of having to stay right here in the 'States for the rest of my life. I don't think I could do that.

But amidst all that, amidst the cry of my heart, I forget to be patient and just live my life right here. I forget that being a true Christian means acting like Christ right here in my home. I have a temper. I'll just admit that right up front. And it can be a hard thing to control, especially towards my siblings. They mess in my stuff, and I get angry. I yell. Christ wouldn't do that. If being a true Christian means I have to act like Christ, then I'm a pretty messed up Christian.

I can't say that I've achieved overnight success. That's never been one of my stories: that I've been able to, with the power of Christ, conquer my many troubles with a blink of my eye. That's never happened for me. I still need Christ's help for this, I know that. And I think he'll give it. Because after all, he's helped me with so many other things.

Today is Valentine's Day, and all over the US, people are celebrating love. Since I don't have a boyfriend or whatever to dote upon (or to be doted upon by), I've decided to devote this day to the best love of all - Jesus Christ's. I've been thinking about it, been praying for those who have never heard of that love. Because so, so many people haven't ever had a chance to hear of it. That's my prayer for today.

Now, leading back to China (yes, this is all really a carefully-crafted advertising ploy. Just kidding; I hadn't intended to go into the lessons learned and all. I don't know where that came from)...

Like I said, my balance currently stands at about $600. That's $525 in my actual missionary account, and just over $100 in my "other expenses" bank account ($60 of that has to go towards insurance this month). But I'm still in so much need of funds. Please, please consider either helping me through prayer or support, telling your friends, directing them to my blog, whatever. I can feel that God is going to do great things throughout the next few months, and right now he's just preparing me. If you'd like to donate, or to direct someone as to how to donate, you can email me at kyladenae94@yahoo.com, and I'll give you the directions and everything. :))

Anyway. Money-begging aside...I serve the most amazing, awesome God anyone could ever think of. In fact, he's so amazing that I don't think we could have thought of him on our own.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

American vs. Christian

2011-02-13T15:59:00.001-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

This is a rather political post. I'm just forewarning you. ;)

“American.” To some Christians, this label is all-important. It’s part of their identity. They sing rousing songs about how they’re “proud to be an American!” Now, I see nothing wrong with liking to live in America. America is awesome. Without America, I wouldn’t be able to run two blogs, both of which have criticized the government. I wouldn’t be free to do what I do best: cause trouble. So it’s not that I don’t love America or that I want America to die or something, far from it.

My concern comes from the fact that American Christians have gotten so lost in identifying themselves as Americans that they’ve forgotten what Christian means. They’ve begun worshipping America to such an extent that they’ve neglected Christ. They’ve managed to put their flag on a pedestal, and forgotten that the only thing they should be doing that with is Him.

To this accusation, some will respond “But America is a Christian nation! So we need to keep it and honor it!” Is America a Christian nation? Can America, with her record of killing and covering it up, of messing in other people’s business, of promoting violent dictators while casting others down and killing innocents…can a nation like that truly be called a Christian one when the Bible states we are not to kill, we are to love the innocent, we are to feed, clothe and nourish even our enemies (Proverbs 5:21)?! When Jesus said “love your neighbor as yourself,” did he add the stipulation that if your neighbor hit you, you could hit him back? That if your neighbor made you angry, he was fair game?

I tell you this: that it is impossible for America to be a Christian nation. It is impossible for any country to be “Christian” in that sense. A nation, a collective whole, a government, cannot ascribe to a religion. America’s actions, her government’s actions, show her to be unchristian. If we saw a fellow “Christian” doing half the things America’s government has done, we would run him out of church! We would turn him into the police! But somehow, it is alright for our “Christian” national government to do these things.

Christianity is, by its very definition, an individual pursuit. “Christian” means “like Christ.” How can a government and a collective nation be like Christ unless they give up everything for His sake? They send every resource they have out to the world for free. They open their borders for those who are hurting to come in. If someone attacks them, they respond with the willing grace of a Christian and say, “Hey, by the way, you forgot to come take this.” That is what a Christian nation would look like. But does America look like that? Does America forgive its enemies, bless those that curse it?

America is nothing. America is little lines on a map and a two-hundred year old piece of paper. Now let me introduce you to my God.

He is everything, the sum total of all that is, because He created it. He owns the world, the stars, and the infinite galaxies. It tells us in the Bible that He’s going to fold up the universe like it was a mere blanket. He is eternal, never beginning and never ending. His book is the Word of Life. And most importantly, He died for us. All of that splendor, that majesty, boiled down to mere humanity, all so that could become sin for us.

What is America, in light of that? Absolutely nothing.

The fact is, Christian, that you do not belong to the government. America has no claim on you anymore, not on your soul or thoughts or even your time. All of that belongs to someone way more important: the God of the universe Himself. You don’t even belong to yourself. Your sole pursuit now should be following Jesus Christ, following His commandments.

Many Christians in America today have forgotten what following Jesus Christ really looks like. Jesus didn’t come to us to promise a comfy church pew and manifold blessings. There’s a reason He told people to “take up their cross” and follow Him. The path of following Jesus is a hard one. It’s a narrow one. It’s one of those annoying mountain paths that, as you creep upwards, you just know you’re going to fall off at the slightest misstep. That is what following Jesus is like.

The nationalism many American Christians display is frightening. They put the concerns of their nation above those of their God. They hear of stories of the American military killing Yemeni schoolchildren, and they call it “collateral damage.” Do you think that Jesus Christ is looking down at that and saying “Oh well. Collateral damage. I understand why they had to do that; after all, they’re at war.” Do you think that Jesus Christ hears of children in Iraq and Afghanistan getting blown to bits and says “Oops. Misfire. Oh well. Collateral damage.”

Do you think that when you get to Heaven, Jesus’ first question to you is going to be, “So, did you support your government? Did you support your troops? Was your nation important to you? How ardently did you love your country?”

Or do you think His questions will go, “Did you follow Me? Was your every thought towards Me? Did your heart beat for Me; were your hands and your feet willing to go do great things for Me?”

Remember what following Christ is supposed to be like? None of it consists of nationalistic fervor towards a transitory government. None of it involves the “support” of a military. Christian, you are supposed to abide in Christ. In Christ! You’re supposed to be so wholly consumed with Him that the only thing the world sees is Him. That means speaking up against injustice, going and doing and being everything that He was here. Jesus can’t be here at the moment. But we are here. And what testimony are we setting, what is it that others see? Why is it that in many places in the world, Christian is a synonym for American imperialism? Why is that? Examine yourselves, Christians, and ask why that is!

Imagine what would happen if every professing Christian in America stepped up to the plate, returned to the foot of cross, and begged forgiveness for their hard-heartedness. Then imagine if every one of them stood up, stepped forward, and picked that cross up. Imagine if every one of them started doing instead of just being. Imagine if every one of them adopted a child from Africa, or went to Asia, or prayed for Latin America. Imagine if every one of them got on fire for God and looked to the needs of His Kingdom rather than the needs of America’s kingdom. Close your eyes and imagine what the world would look like.

The world was turned upside down with just two men in Acts. Now imagine what would happen if every professing Christian in America told about Him, lived about Him, breathed about Him. Imagine what would happen if every professing Christian valued Him above their own lives. We would turn this world upside down, inside out, then flip it all back around and set it on fire!

Some say it is too difficult, that the world is too far gone. I don’t believe it. Some say we should cut our losses, sit here in America, and pray for it to not fall to the forces of evil. They forget that we have brothers and sisters in Christ out there, some who have come on the receiving end of America’s wrath. We forget that elsewhere, revival is happening. We forget that we serve the mightiest being in existence.

Ladies and gentlemen, I issue an appeal today, and a challenge. I ask you to search your hearts, to see if these things are true. Don’t go into it with a preconception; don’t mentally decide what you’re going to come up with. Don’t give yourself trite answers which are just as bad as lies, or offer yourself half-baked excuses for behavior around you. Then learn to value “Christian” more than “American.” Learn to look at your country objectively, to see it has faults, and to work around it and beyond it and within it to transform the people who live in it.

Let’s turn this world upside down.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Life Is Sweet, Wk 2

2011-02-11T12:08:00.003-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Good books
LOLCats
Warmth
A wonderful family
Forgiveness
Writing
Imagination
Modern conveniences
Sparkling snow under a beautiful, warm sun
Being able to sit around when my back is sore

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

I Suffer From Depraved Indifference

2011-02-07T22:00:00.003-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

This video will change your life. At least, I think it should. If you do nothing else today, please watch this video.

"What you're doing to the least of these is ultimately what you're doing to your God."

"We have a cause. But we don't want to see it."

"Heroes are made, not in the head, but in the heart."

"I'm not there, except for you."

O Lord, may I be from another realm. May I be willing to give my all. Starting now.

"That's my Hudson."

I'm willing, God. I'm burdened for life. I'm willing to give myself for Your Glory, for Your Kingdom!

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Life Is Sweet, Wk 1

2011-02-03T13:22:00.002-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I really want a free blog design. So Imma write about 10 things that make life that much sweeter, per Ara's instructions.

Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Mmm, the goodness.
Cookie dough, itself.
Friends. I love my friends. Absolutely love them. They're epic. Some of them go out and do Good News Club with me. One girl in particular is great- we always get the same kind of ice cream afterwards. Yes, we do get paid in ice cream. Shh.
Bursts of inspiration, the kind that makes your spine tingle and your fingers itch to hold a pen.
Good books. I just finished LOTR again. Loved it. As always.
Having a warm house even when it's -2 degrees outdoors.
That delicious feeling when everything is just right in a story.
Hugs and kisses from little sisters.
Beautiful pictures. It would be even nicer if I could be a part of the beautiful pictures. But meh.
Imagination. Imagination makes life wonderful.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Introducing...

2011-02-02T14:20:00.013-06:00

So, if anybody cares... Ara wrote a post introducing her characters. Then Emily at Grace Like Rain did. And I'm going to be a total copier and do one, too, even though in all likelihood, no one cares.. I couldn't decide whether to do Valiant or Ravaged Time. But then I decided to do Valiant, because it's my best book, if I do say so myself. Maybe not for long, though. Might as well make it feel special while I can. :D

So, without further ado:

-------------------------------------------------

Jack Hill is the quiet one who wants to be seen as a hero, but isn't quite sure how to act like one just yet. New to his job, Jack sees everything in black-and-white: regulation or non-regulation, by the book or not, right or left, rich or poor. According to him, there is no middle ground. And in some ways, he's verified in this opinion. But then again, the crew of the Valiant teaches him that sometimes (actually, most of the time), it's okay to go beyond what your teachers tell you is proper.

Jack is almost more of a supporting character than anything. In some ways, he shouldn't be the hero at all. He never takes the lead in things. He's far too cautious for that. He waits until he has gathered every bit of evidence he needs, has taken stock of a situation, and has talked to others before he takes action. And that's okay. It works for him. Which is of course why he needs Satara (who he likes...quite a lot...just like everybody on the Valiant knows) to balance him out and show him that sometimes, impetuosity is okay.

Satara Rawlins is one of the best female supporting characters I've ever written, I think. She's the moral support for a lot of the ship. While Britanee is the quiet encourager, Satara is the swift kick in the rear that is needed when all else fails. Despite that, she's still more of a follower than a leader; she prefers to have somebody like Silas or Ren around to tell her what to do and when to do it...so long as she's free to do it her way.

She's calmly sarcastic, wryly witty, and never gives in to defeat, convinced that such a thing doesn't exist. She'll believe that the Centauri will win when she sees Earth in ruins, and even then, there'll be hope. Her catch phrase would probably be "never give up, especially on your friends."

Quentin Radley is...Quentin. I don't think there is another adjective that could probably describe him. Quentin is the jokester of the ship, the one who can't be serious even when they're being carted off to a Centauri prison ship. He's wildly in love with Britanee, Jack's best friend, and a fine engineer.

Quentin is perhaps the last person you'd expect to actually do well in the war, but he ends up handling himself quite well, even engineering an escape from the prison ship. If he wasn't Britanee's, I think I might actually like Quentin a bit too much...why must I fall in love with my own characters?

Britanee Tempari is the sweetest character in Valiant, and for good reason- she never has anything bad to say about anyone. She lives by the maxim that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. This is, perhaps, what attracts Quentin to her so much. As a matter of fact, everybody on Valiant is attracted to Britanee in some way or another. Not quite like Quentin, of course, but everybody enjoys being around her because she's so soft-spoken.

Don't be fooled, though; Britanee's quiet outward demeanor hides one very loyal, strong woman. She's the one who insists they go into the Centi's palace to find Silas, and she's the one who really gets them through the whole treason thing. At least, that's what Quentin insists.

Or'Nek is what I suppose you'd call the main villain, as he is the primary impetus behind the war that the characters of the Valiant are thrust into. In his defense, he's just trying to do what he thinks is right for his people: that is, removing an impediment to his progress.

Despite that, he's quite a grasping, devious, jerk. The high points of his performance are when he actually submits to having lost...and then kills himself as a consequence. There's actually quite a bit of suicide in Valiant. I hadn't thought of that before.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

I now live in the Arctic

2011-02-01T16:51:00.003-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

Minus the snow, which makes me sad. Snow might actually make all this cold worth it.

It is currently only 8 degrees here...but the wind chill makes it feel like -13, and up to -25 in some places.

That's insane, I'm telling you.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Arabic and Testing

2011-01-31T13:57:00.002-06:00

سلام لكم في هذا اليوم

I love how Arabic looks! It's such a pretty language... Anyway. That's all. I'm just testing out my new settings and stuff. Like my new preface to posts? It's Arabic, and it reads "Peace to you this day" or something along those lines. The first part is said "Salaam-aleikum" or something like that. I dunno.

I'm not Arabic, though I do want to learn how to speak it. I am of the opinion that it is the most beautiful language in the world, both to speak and to write.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

China and Sweet & Sour Chicken

2011-01-30T19:34:00.004-06:00

Suilaid!

Shi (yes), I am back with more China trip news! A girl on the GE Facebook page posted a prayer card her sister had designed for her, and made it known that her sister was willing to do the same for other needy missionaries! The best part- she would do it completely free! And she did! And it looks pretty! And I'm excited about it! We're going to get them printed up this week, and I can't wait. See, here it is (with my last name removed for the purposes of privacy):

On to the sweet-and-sour chicken. I made some in our crockpot today. And despite the fact that I put too much red pepper on the chicken, it was delicious...if I do say so myself. And I do! :P It was excellently good, even in leftover form, which is how I'm eating it right now. Mmmm, scrumptious goodness!

So yeah. Envy me my sweet-and-sour chicken. But not too much. Because covetousness is a sin. And maybe spread the word of my trip, and of my needs! Because I need a lot! :D

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Zambia

2011-01-17T19:17:00.002-06:00

Suilaid!

An updated version of my old video...I don't know if I had already posted it...but here it is, a video of my trip to Zambia. :))

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty

Got Jesus?

2011-01-13T16:06:00.003-06:00

Suilaid!

This is just a quick reflection that popped into my mind today as I was looking through sets on Polyvore. One of the ladies who I follow had made a set that featured a quote- "Got Jesus?" While I find it is an interesting cultural phenomenon to study, the 'got ___' advertising gimmick first inspired by the 'got milk' campaign, I don't think that that phrase fully conveys the unique relationship between Savior and saved.

We don't "got Jesus," or to put it in the grammatically correct way, we don't "have Jesus." Jesus is not a possession to be had. A possession can be put on a shelf, it can be forgotten now and then, shoved into a corner so we don't have to pay any attention to it. But we shouldn't do that to Jesus.

I think a more apt way to put this would be- "Does Jesus have you?" You do not possess Jesus; Jesus possesses you. He bought you with the dearest price imaginable, that of His precious, pure blood. You choose to acknowledge His ownership of your heart, soul, and mind, and to listen to His direction in your life.

So no, I do not "got Jesus." Jesus has me. I am His possession, I am not my own.

爱於耶穌,
~Liberty